The Long Road Ahead
by TashaLaw
Summary: LL, Sequel to 'The Essential Light of Need.' PostpostPartings. Now that Luke and Lorelai have worked things out, can they keep it together when other problems threaten their relationship?
1. Bringing It

**The Long Road Ahead**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Gilmore Girls. Don't sue me or I'll sue you back.

**Summary**: L/L, Sequel to _The Essential Light of Need_. Post-post-Partings. Now that Luke and Lorelai have worked things out, can they keep it together when other problems threaten their relationship?

**Author's Notes**: This story picks up right where _The Essential Light of Need _left off. You should read that first if you want to understand this.

**Rating**: T for adult situations, but nothing terribly graphic.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Bringing It**

"Oh, God, Luke, this is wonderful," Lorelai moaned as she stretched out decadently on the bed next to him. It was a big bed, larger than even the standard 'king size,' but they had yet to maximize the benefits of its opulence as they had barely moved more than a few inches out of each other's space.

At that moment, Lorelai lay on her side, facing Luke, the fluffy hotel bath robe tied so as to show off her long legs and neckline. She leaned her head on one hand so that she could better see her new husband. The other hand deftly wielded a spoon laden with creamy home-made vanilla ice cream and equally rich home-made cherry pie. The dish - along with the remains of their dinner (including fresh lobster from Maine), lay on a breakfast tray next to them.

Taking another bite of the heavenly desert, Lorelai said, "You have to try this."

"I told you already, I don't want any." Luke's voice was tempered by his smile - as little as he liked sugary desserts, watching Lorelai enjoy them was an indulgence in and of itself.

"But it's _so _good," she insisted, refilling the spoon and holding it out for him. "Just try it."

"Not gonna happen."

"Please?" Her foot began to gently stroke his, making its way up to the bottom hem of his sleeping pants, his only clothing.

"Nope."

"Pretty please?" She slid her knee up his leg, the robe she was wearing riding up to show even more skin.

"Lorelai..." His voice had become a warning.

"Pretty please with a nice..." The leg went higher. "Juicy..." And higher. "Red..." She sat up slightly so that her robe fell off one shoulder. "Cherry..." Her knee made contact with the bed between his legs. "On top..." she finished, her lower half straddling his leg and her chest level with his eyes. She still held the spoon out to him, carefully using her other hand to maintain her balance.

"If you insist," Luke said with an exaggerated groan. He allowed Lorelai to spoon him the desert, then smiled at her obvious look of pleasure at having won the battle.

"How does it taste?" she asked, putting the spoon down on the tray.

"Not as good as you," came his answer, and he pulled her in for a kiss. She offered no resistance, melting into him as fluidly as the ice cream melted in his mouth. Without disengaging her lips, he rolled them both over until she was on her back and he was poised above her, his weight balanced on his arms.

Lorelai's robe had fallen even further open at the neck, revealing enough creamy skin to entice him away from her mouth. He began to kiss down to her throat, and then along her collar bone until he reached the top of her breasts, now just barely hidden by the terrycloth robe. She felt his breath on her skin as he paused, hesitated, considered - for far too long in Lorelai's opinion.

"You stop now and I'll kill you," she whispered, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair. She did so gently, mindful not to pull to hard. Though Luke had never said anything, she knew that he felt a little sensitive about his receding hairline that had begun to thin on top. It was one nearly universal male vanity and possibly even the reason he wore his baseball cap so often.

"Lorelai..." he said quietly, unable to continue on but unwilling to move from the spot. He wanted to have a conversation _now_?

"Less talk, more action," she said, moving her body under him enticingly. But he remained still, frozen in position, and his lack of movement began to worry her. "Luke, what's wrong?"

"Can we... can we talk for a second?" he asked finally, bringing his head up to look her in the eye.

"Sure," she told him, matching his serious tone. Lorelai had no idea what was troubling him so suddenly. He had been happy and upbeat all day, from their drive in to Martha's Vineyard to the wedding. She knew it was not the idea of intimacy - they had crossed that hurdle several weeks before. The first time making love with Luke again after the debacle with Christopher had been a little awkward at first, as though neither of them knew what to expect or what to do. But they quickly found their rhythm again, realizing that neither of them had really changed. Lorelai still loved the feel of Luke's unshaven cheek against her skin. And he still could not get enough of that spot where her neck met her shoulder, the tiniest touch to which could dissolve her in the most sexy giggles.

"Um, Lorelai... I didn't bring anything," Luke confessed.

Her mind took a moment to register the fact that she had no idea what he was talking about. Thoroughly confused, she asked, "What?"

"I didn't bring anything," he repeated. He certainly looked cute when he was embarrassed, but Lorelai was no closer to understanding than she had been the first time he said it.

"Well... neither of us brought anything," she ventured. "That's why we had our little shopping trip this afternoon. Clothes, toothbrush, dental floss..." Suddenly his unspoken meaning hit her. "Oh. You didn't bring anything."

His lack of preparation surprised her. He had done so well with all the other details of their weekend. Rory and April, the minister, the shopping, the hotel reservation. How had Luke Danes, the most responsible man she had ever known, forgotten to bring protection on their honeymoon?

"I, uh, I guess we should have discussed this before," he said awkwardly. "I just thought maybe we could... if you want... now that we're technically married..." He paused for a long moment, waiting for Lorelai to catch up and connect the dots, but she continued to stare at him in confusion. "Cause we talked about it before, but not that much, and we didn't say anything definite..." Still no light bulbs going off in her eyes. "You know what, I think they have a gift shop in the lobby. They probably have... this kind of thing. I'll be right back." Luke began to get up from the bed.

"Oh!" Suddenly, the entire conversation clicked for Lorelai, and she reached out to stop him from leaving the room. Instead, he sat back on the bed and she moved to sit next to him. "You didn't bring anything-anything... on purpose?" she asked.

"Well, yeah. But like I said, we should have talked about this before," he said. "Its kind of a big decision, and I don't want you to think I'm rushing you... 'cause I'm not."

"Wait, Luke-"

"I just thought... because, you know, we sort of talked about it, before, when April was in the hospital. And I've been thinking about it and..."

"And?" Lorelai prompted anxiously.

Luke shrugged. "The idea of having a kid has sort of grown on me."

"You mean having another kid," she pointed out.

He clarified automatically, "Having a kid with you."

"You want to have a kid with me? Really?"

The restrained hopefulness in her voice caused Luke to smile.

"Yeah, really," he said softly. "What about you?"

"Oh, I've already had a kid with me," was her coy response. "It turned out pretty well the first time, but that may have just been luck."

"Rory's great," he agreed. "And it wasn't luck. You're a terrific mother."

Lorelai took a faltering breath, amazed at where this conversation was taking them. "You're a pretty great father yourself there."

"April's thirteen. I missed most of her... 'kid' stuff. I don't know how good I'd be at it." There was doubt in his voice, fear of the unknown. But Lorelai also heard a measure of possibility, a sort of hidden longing.

"I think you'd be really good at it," she assured him.

"Yeah?"

Lorelai nodded. "Definitely."

The image of Luke holding a child - their child - was one that she had never quite been able to get out of her head. Sometimes it was a newborn, all pink and wrinkled the way newborns tend to be. Sometimes it was a little girl wearing a pink dress who had her father completely wrapped around her little finger. But most of the time, the child was male, and Luke was teaching him to tie his shoes or play catch or make a grilled cheese sandwich. She felt certain she would love to have another daughter, but Lorelai very much wanted to give Luke a son.

"So..."

"So, then, do you want to..." she stammered, looking from him to the bed, then back to him. It bothered her that she felt so hesitant with him, but the fear of messing things up again weighed on her continually. She did not want to press him, to force him into something for which he was not ready.

"If you do," he said, bringing his hand up to run along her shoulder, letting his thumb trace circles around her collar bone and the spots he had kissed earlier.

"I do," Lorelai whispered, leaning closer towards him.

"I do, too," he answered, meeting her lips with his in an explosive mixture of passion and comfort, relief and excitement. Lorelai quickly lost her robe and Luke divested himself of his pants. Hands roamed, mouths explored, and fingers caressed. As she gasped out his name in a haze of pleasurable sensations, Lorelai could think of only of how lucky she was and how easily she could lose it if she was not careful. He wanted to have a _baby _with her. A baby! Somehow, that knowledge made their wedding night even more special, more beautiful than she ever thought possible.

To Luke, making love with his new wife felt simply like coming home.

* * *

Although the newly weds spent a large portion of their weekend indoors, Lorelai insisted on Sunday afternoon that they go back to the beach. The weather was much warmer than their visit on Valentine's Day, prompting Lorelai to buy a new bikini and force Luke into a bathing suit as well. The latter of those tasks had been especially difficult, but was accomplished with the promise of the former.

"I love it here," she commented to him as they sat side by side on beach chairs in the sand, facing the ocean. Despite being the busy summer season, there were surprisingly few people out. The water was a crisp blue, and the waves beat out a slow, steady rhythm as they crashed on the shore.

"Yeah, its not bad," Luke answered, giving his stamp of approval.

"We should come back. Maybe every year or every other year, as an anniversary sort of thing."

"As long as we don't tell your parents," he said, remembering some talk about the elder Gilmores' affinity for the Vineyard.

Lorelai shuddered at the thought. "God, no. My parents never need to know. It can be our secret. Kind of like our wedding..."

"We can tell people if you want," he said in response. "I just thought since you're planning the wedding in February, everyone you're inviting might feel left out that they weren't invited to this one. Like Sookie and Jackson, Babette, Miss Patty..."

"...my parents," Lorelai finished. "Oh, trust me, I appreciate the thought. And besides, I really loved that this was our personal, private wedding. And I didn't have to wait eight more months to be married to you." Smiling at him brightly, she could not help but take his hand in hers as she evaluated how much weight his beach chair could hold.

Luke simply smirked back at her, caught up in the romance of the weekend and the beach setting. "That was one of the main benefits of eloping," he confessed.

Between the sun and the sand, the love radiating from Lorelai's eyes warmed him the most. The touch of her hand was enticing, and he gave it a gentle tug, willing her to come to him. She did so gladly, putting one arm around his neck to balance herself as she sat on his lap, knowing full well that the beach chair that was not designed for two occupants. One of Luke's hands automatically went around her waist while the other sought out the wide expanse of leg left bare by her bikini. Lorelai's legs always drew his attention, not that he necessarily considered himself a "leg man." Indeed, _all _of her physical features seemed specifically designed to drive any red-blooded heterosexual male to edge of their limits.

"Have I told you how much I love this suit on you?" he said softly, almost shyly.

"Yeah?" Lorelai grinned at him. "How much?"

"Not as much as I like it off of you..."

"Dirty!"

Luke laughed good-naturedly, having expected her well-used retort. But then he grew serious, intent on making sure that she knew - all jokes aside - just how incredibly beautiful she really was. He did not tell her enough, just as he did not express his love as often as he should. To Luke, these were things that just went without saying. Giving them voice seemed redundant. Of course he loved her. Of course he thought she was beautiful. Gorgeous, really. Probably the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"You're so beautiful," he stated matter-of-factly. "In the suit, out of the suit, in a plastic garbage bag..."

Lorelai beamed at the compliment, far too touched to come up with a suitably witty rejoinder. "Thank you," she said, then added, "You better remember this when I get pregnant and blow up to the size of a beached whale." Her remark caused Luke to frown. "I was kidding," she told him, noting the look in his eye. "Although, not by a lot. If I get pregnant, you better expect to see me get bigger. When I was pregnant with Rory, I was huge, but-"

"Does that bother you?" Luke interrupted her. "With the wedding coming up, I mean. Would it bother you if you got pregnant before then?"

She thought about it for a second, then shook her head. "No. I mean, we're already married, even if no one else is going to know that. And obviously I'm not worried about protecting my reputation in the pregnant-out-of-wedlock area..."

"What about your dress?" he pointed out. "What if it doesn't fit? Do you want to wait until after the wedding to try for kids?"

"Did you just think about all this now?" Lorelai asked with a laugh. "Luke, it doesn't matter to me if I'm pregnant in February for our wedding or not. Actually, I'd rather be pregnant by then, because I'd _be pregnant_, and we'd be expecting a child. And I wouldn't be worrying about whether I waited too long to have another baby or if I even can anymore. I'm almost forty, Luke. My child-bearing years are rapidly coming to an end." Taking a breath, she continued on more cheerfully. "And if the dress doesn't fit, I'll let it out. Or you'll buy me a new one. It doesn't matter. That wedding is about them - our friends and family and everyone else in that crazy town. Of course giving my parents aneurysms would be an added bonus..."

"Lorelai, I just want you to have the wedding of your dreams, and if that means waiting a little while to get pregnant, that's okay. I'm not expecting you to start popping out babies right away or anything-"

Leaning in to kiss him gently on the lips, she whispered, "I've already had my dream wedding." She gestured to the beach and the crashing waves. "And I'm already married to my dream man." She put her hand on his chest, the one with the engagement ring, to emphasize her point. "Now I want us to have that dream family."

"Lorelai... you and Rory and April - you _are _my dream family," Luke replied. "Now we can just work on expanding it."

She smiled brightly at him, wondering when it was that she had ever felt so happy as she did in that moment.

"Absolutely."


	2. Having It

Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews! The next few chapters are going to be kind of fluffy (they're in that honeymoon phase!), but I promise there will be some angst later on, so stick with it.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Having It**

After their incredibly romantic weekend at Martha's Vineyard, Lorelai had a difficult time acclimating back to work at the Inn without letting her mind wander. Every time she tried to focus on inventory or payroll, she was distracted by the thought of possible baby names. While she knew she would like to name the baby 'William' after Luke's father if it was a boy, she had no idea which girl's name she liked best. Part of her thought it was silly and possibly bad luck to contemplate such things before she was even pregnant, but she could not help herself.

Remembering her pregnancy with Rory, Lorelai realized that she had missed a lot of things. The nervous anticipation of _deciding _to try for a baby. Then the happiness at seeing the stick turn pink - rather than the utter dread and terror she felt at the tender age of sixteen. Plus there was the decidedly pleasant and pleasurable process of actually _trying _for the baby. But most of all, Lorelai loved that unlike before, with any child she had now, Luke would be there for her every step of the way, from conception to birth, first step to going away to college.

He would go with her to doctor's appointments and look at the sonogram pictures with her, like Ross and Rachel, although she knew she would be the one to explain the fuzzy images to Luke. He would cater to her food cravings, as Jackson had done for Sookie - not that that would be anything new for her and Luke. And he would hold her hand in the delivery room, as Christopher had done for Sherry.

The thought of Christopher caused Lorelai to mentally scold herself. She had not seen or spoken to him in the nearly five weeks since the fight with Luke on her front lawn. She knew that Rory had been in contact with him, but even her daughter still blamed him for the resulting problems between Lorelai and Luke.

In truth, cutting off Christopher from her life was a relief. While they were friends as kids and teenage lovers, that odd limbo of in-between since then had always left her feeling confused and empty. Even when she and Christopher had almost gotten together before Sherry found out she was pregnant, Lorelai knew it was too good to be true. She and Rory's father were never meant to get married, despite all her talk about him 'getting it together.' Now, Christopher was gone from her life for good, and that knowledge did not even make her sad, despite their long and complicated history.

"Zer is someone on ze phone for yew," Michel informed her with his typical annoyance, interrupting her thoughts.

"Who is it?"

"Summ woman. She wuz very rude to me. She could not understand me becauze of my accent. I do not have an accent..."

"Thanks, Michel."

"I have lived in thiz country for many yearz. I have no accent..."

"Yep, Michel, no accent at all," Lorelai said in appeasement as she moved to close the door of her office. She saw him shoot her a glare for her condescension but said nothing more before the thick wooden door separated them.

Picking up the phone, Lorelai knew exactly who was on the other end but out of habit said, "Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai Gilmore speaking."

"Lorelai, its your mother. You really should give me your direct office number so I don't have to deal with that insufferable receptionist. I can barely understand the man!"

"Why didn't you call my cell phone, Mom?"

"I thought you were at work. Why should I call your cell phone when I can call you at work?"

"So you don't have to deal with Michel..."

"Insufferable man," Emily agreed.

Before she could expound upon the Frenchman's bad qualities once again, Lorelai quickly asked, "So why did you call?"

"What, a mother can't call her daughter to see how she's doing? I've barely seen you since that dinner with Christopher and Lynnie. Its like you've disappeared off the face of the earth!"

She sighed. It was true. Ever since the disastrous Friday Night Dinner, followed by the infamous ultimatum outside Luke's, leading to the completely forgettable night with Christopher and all the accompanying events that brought on, Lorelai had begged off from all but one Friday dinner. She only attended that one because Rory asked her to, and she left as quickly as possible. Lorelai was not angry with her mother, but she simply found it easier to avoid her than deal with the questions and insinuations.

"I wanted to ask you if you'll be attending dinner this Friday night. Obviously you don't _have _to, and clearly you would prefer not to, but I thought it might be nice. And I wanted to invite Luke and his daughter to come," Emily said. "I mean, if she's going to be my granddaughter, I want to meet her."

"Mom..."

"She is still going to be my granddaughter, isn't she?" the elder Gilmore challenged. And thus, the gauntlet was thrown.

"Yes, Mom. Luke and I are getting married. I told you when I was at dinner that we set a date: February 25th."

"Well, you set a date last time and then you postponed it," Emily pointed out. "Obviously just because you have a date, that doesn't necessarily mean you'll be getting married-"

"Mom!" Lorelai shouted at her. "We're getting married! On February 25th, there will be a wedding. There will be invitations and a dress and cake and there _will be _a wedding." She was very close to simply telling her mother that she and Luke were already married, that they had eloped to Martha's Vineyard on the very date that she had just dismissed. But knowing such a disclosure would only cause more problems, she kept her mouth shut.

"Fine," Emily said dismissively. "Then maybe I'll just have to meet Luke's daughter there. That is if I'm still invited. Apparently I'm too much of an embarrassment to meet her." Lorelai hated when her mother turned a losing argument into a backhanded insult at herself.

Groaning in defeat, she conceded, "I'll ask Luke, Mom. But I'm not promising anything! She just got out of the hospital not too long ago and she's still having trouble moving around." Which was a total lie, because April had completely mastered the wheel chair, even with one arm still in a cast. That girl was so smart, sometimes Lorelai found it a little creepy.

"What's to move around? I'm inviting her to dinner, not asking her to join a yoga class."

"I told you that I'd ask Luke. I can't guarantee anything beyond that, Mom."

"Fine," Emily said. "But either way, I'll expect you and Luke on Friday night. We can discuss your wedding! Goodbye, Lorelai."

Before she could say anything in response, her mother had hung up the phone, and Lorelai was left with the realization that she had just been sucked into another Friday Night Dinner. And she could already hear Luke's answer when she relayed the invitation to him.

* * *

"We should go." 

Lorelai stared at her husband/fiance in utter disbelief. "What?" she asked, uncomprehending.

"I said that I think we should go." He shrugged nonchalantly. "April's supposed to come over for the evening anyway, and she probably won't mind driving in to Hartford."

"But its dinner with _my parents_," Lorelai pointed out, as though she had inadvertently forgotten to mention that detail. "My parents. The Gilmores. Emily and Richard. Sometimes known to their contemporaries as the Huns."

"It'll be fine," Luke assured her. They were in the diner during the post-lunch lull, and he had resumed his almost never-ending occupation of wiping down the counter. Usually, that particular activity could not help but fascinate her, but today his attention to it only caused her annoyance. It was as though he had never met her parents before, had never been to their house or had to endure their conversation. Like he had forgotten that Emily Gilmore had once tried to break them up (and succeeded), using Christopher to do it.

"It'll be fine?" Lorelai repeated, adding as much doubt to the words as she could. "Okay, if you're sure. I just thought you'd have a problem with this."

Luke stopped wiping the counter, pausing for a second as though to collect himself, and then turned to Lorelai. "Why would I have a problem with it?" he challenged.

"Because its dinner with _my parents_. And your daughter. And you. And... _my parents_."

"Lorelai, you're April's step-mother." Glancing around, he amended, "'Going to be' April's step-mother. Its right that you and I should spend time with her, however we want to. And its right that your parents should meet her. I think the fact that your mother is so insistent on it is a good sign."

"Clearly you don't know my mother," Lorelai said.

Letting his voice drop down so that only she could hear him, he said, "Before I found out about April, I considered Rory the closest thing I'd ever have to a daughter. Even before you and I started dating. And I know that no one can ever replace Rory - for me or for you - but I want you to have a relationship like that with April."

Touched, Lorelai whispered, "So do I."

"I know I kept you away from her before, and that was wrong. But I want us to be a family, Lorelai," he said insistently. "And if that means Friday Night Dinner with your parents, then so be it."

She smiled at him, counting herself lucky that she had ever found such a sweet, understanding man. She stretched up to give him a quick kiss on the lips, a thank you for his consideration of her and of their changed situation.

"Besides," Luke added. "Think of it as practice for when we have kids. Your parents are going to want to see them, too."

"Don't remind me," she groused as she rolled her eyes, although she was secretly ecstatic that had factored into his thinking. Ever since they had made the decision to try for children on their abbreviated honeymoon the weekend before, Luke's excitement at the idea had seemed to grow. It was beginning to make her slightly nervous that he would be disappointed if they were unable to conceive.

"But if your mother says anything..." he began.

"Oh, we are so out of there," Lorelai agreed, even before he finished his sentence. "Well, I guess I better get back to the inn, call my mother back..."

"Do you have to go?" Luke asked, glancing around. The diner was empty except for a few customers.

"Well, I have to get back to work at some point. Why? What'd you have in mind?" she flirted.

Smiling slyly, Luke ducked his head into the kitchen and told Caesar to cover the counter for a while. Then he quickly took Lorelai by the hand and guided her towards the curtained stairway that led to his apartment. Once they were safely upstairs and behind the glassed window that still read _Williams Hardware_, Luke made it clear to her exactly what he had in mind.

* * *

When Lorelai arrived back at work later that day, she felt certain that everyone noticed the smile that was plastered on her face. She felt giddy, like a teenager in love for the first time. All the stress from worrying about Christopher and talking to her mother earlier that day had melted away, leaving her in that sweet, gooey center of adoration that was more delicious than any chocolate truffle she had ever tasted. It suddenly dawned on her that she was acting like a newly-wed. Even though she did not yet have the wedding band to go with her engagement ring - and even though only four other people on the planet knew about it - she and Luke were married. Newly wed. She smiled to herself at the thought. Of course she should feel happy, ecstatic even. Of course they should sneak away in the middle of the day to do the things newly-weds do. 

"Lorelai!"

Sookie's shout from the doorway brought her out of her revelry as the other woman waived her frantically over.

"What's going on?" Lorelai asked as she followed her into the kitchen. Out of habit, she gave the room a cursory inspection to make sure there was no apparent smoke or burn marks or blood. But everything seemed to be fine.

"I have it!" Sookie exclaimed.

"You have what?"

"The perfect menu for your wedding!"

Unlike the previous plans for their original June 3rd wedding, Lorelai had decided to take her time with these wedding plans. Not only did she want to have the fabulous, storybook wedding day that Luke had described, she also wanted Luke to be a part of the process and to have as much input as he wanted to give. Besides, February 25th was a longway in the future, and they had plenty of time to work out all the details.

Lorelai smiled kindly at her best friend's excitement. "Sookie, the wedding isn't for another eight months. You really think you're going to be able to stick to whatever menu you have for over half a year?"

The other woman's face fell as she realized the truth in Lorelai's words. She could barely make a final decision about what to make for dinner that night. How was she to keep a menu for eight months? But in typical Sookie fashion, such concerns faded quickly as the excitement about her food choices overtook her again.

"If you don't like it, I'll make it some night here at the Inn," she told Lorelai. "But just picture this: butter-roasted duck with herbs and rosemary, and a side of garlic-basted beans and squash-"

"Sookie, I told you, Luke wants to have lobster at the wedding," Lorelai interrupted.

Sookie laughed as though she had just told a fabulous joke. "Lobster? At your wedding? Aw, you always crack me up. But listen, the soup course will be this fabulous cheese - no cream-based sauce..."

Lorelai pretended to listen as her friend continued to describe the perfect wedding menu, making several corrections and revisions as she went. She knew that whatever meal Sookie planned at this point would be completely different by the day of the event. And ultimately, whatever they ended up eating would be fine with her. Somehow, all the stress of wedding planning had evaporated, leaving Lorelai with a pleasant, care-free feeling about the whole process. The food, the flowers, the dress, all of it - she had opinions and preferences, things she wanted to run by Luke, but it was all just icing on the cake. Smiling to herself, she decided that for once in her life, she was going to be able to have her cake and eat it too.


	3. Handling It

**Chapter 3: Handling It**

Luke, Lorelai, and April arrived at the Gilmore residence in Hartford a little later than expected, and so it was not surprising that when they rang the bell, Rory met them at the door. The look of panic on her face, however, caused the three considerable concern.

"Quick, inside!" she said, gesturing for them to hurry. Lorelai stepped back to allow Luke to push April's wheelchair, then followed behind them into the eerily silent and disturbingly dark house.

"What's going on?" she asked her daughter in a suspicious whisper.

"Why are you whispering?" Rory answered, confused.

"I don't know. You're being all secretive and acting weird. Are we throwing someone a surprise party?"

"Oh, surprise parties are fun," April piped in. "But we didn't bring a gift."

"No party, no gifts," Rory clarified. "Its just a little misunderstanding with Grandma. I'm taking care of it. Just go on into the dining room. Dinner should be served in a little while."

Not needing further prompting, Luke took April into the other room, chatting with her about the grand opulence of the Gilmore household. Lorelai thought she heard something about "peasant revolution" from Luke, followed by a comment on Marxism from his daughter, but she was too focused on Rory to pay much attention.

"What's really going on?" she asked once her husband and step-daughter were safely in the dining room. Her daughter continued to look nervous as she walked into the living room and peered out at the driveway from behind the window curtain.

"Nothing, Mom. I told you, just a mistake. I'm handling it. Go in and sit with April and Luke. I'm sure Grandma will have appetizers brought in soon."

"Where is my mother?" Lorelai demanded.

"Oh, she's... uh, she's... supervising dinner."

"And your grandfather?"

"He's in Cleveland," she said, sounding much more convincing. "He had a last-minute business trip."

"Rory, tell me what's going on. Most of the lights in the house are turned off. Richard is out of town, and Emily is MIA. You're answering the door instead of the maid. And, to top all of that off, you're acting like you're expecting the aliens from _Signs _to break into the house and come after us all."

Rory sighed, knowing there was no way to avoid her mother's questions any longer.

"I told Grandma about what happened with Dad."

"You what!" Lorelai practically shouted.

"Well, not everything that happened with Dad. I just told her that you weren't speaking to him anymore," she explained.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because she invited him to dinner tonight! I just found out about it half an hour ago, and that was only by chance. I came by early to look at a book that Grandpa left for me before he left on his trip, and Grandma told me that she had invited Dad. So I told her she had to un-invite him, or else you would be totally pissed, and she wanted to know why."

Lorelai held up a hand. "Okay, bottom line. What exactly did you tell her?"

"Just that you and he had a big fight, that he tried to get in between you and Luke again, and that you're not speaking to him. And if you found out she invited him tonight, you probably wouldn't be speaking to her either," Rory said quickly. "Oh, and I may have said you probably wouldn't invite her to the wedding."

"So what's with the cloak and dagger? Why didn't she just call him and tell him not to come to dinner?"

"She did, but he's not answering his cell phone. So our back-up plan is to stop him before he gets to the front door and-"

"Lorelai!"

She and Rory turned to see Emily Gilmore standing on the stairs, dressed in a white bathrobe.

"Mom?" Lorelai said, her automatic greeting colored with surprise at the choice in wardrobe. "You didn't tell me dinner was slumber-party casual."

"When Dad gets here, she was going to tell him that she's sick, so she told us all not to come," Rory explained. "Hence the robe and slippers, no maid to answer the door, and so forth." Glancing down at her feet, Lorelai noted that her mother was indeed wearing matching fuzzy white slippers.

"Good plan," she commented sarcastically.

"Well, you didn't tell me what happened with Christopher!" Emily exclaimed. "How am I supposed to know that you aren't speaking to him anymore unless you tell me? I just found out from Rory a little while ago, and this was the best excuse for 'canceling' dinner that I could come up with on such short notice."

"Why did you invite him in the first place, mom?"

"He's Rory's father. You and he are still friends, or at least you were when you came to dinner last month. I thought it might be nice to get everyone together. But I can never keep up with who you're not speaking to anymore, Lorelai-"

"Mom, I'm not getting into this with you right now-"

"Shh! I just saw his car pull up!" Rory announced in a high-pitched whisper.

"Lorelai, Rory, go into the dining room. I'll take care of this."

Lorelai, annoyed with the whole situation, said, "He'll see my car, Mom. He'll know I'm here."

"I said I'll take care of it."

Mother and daughter quickly slipped into the dining room, but while Rory took a seat at the table next to April, Lorelai stood at the doorway, listening for her mother's voice. Luke took note of this odd behavior and went to stand beside her. Realizing that she had drawn his attention, she pulled him back so that he would not be visible from the front door.

"What's going on?" he asked her.

"Emily invited Christopher to dinner," Lorelai informed him.

"What?" He turned as if to go towards the door, but Lorelai blocked his path and put her hands on his chest to stop him.

"I didn't know, and she didn't realize the situation. I never told her what happened, so she didn't do it on purpose. Well, she did do it on purpose, but she didn't do it to be mean. But don't worry, she's getting rid of him." Luke still looked angry, his muscles tense as though for a fight. She was not sure who his emotions were directed towards - herself for getting them into the situation, her mother for arranging the dinner, or Christopher for existing.

It was at that moment that the bell rang. April's head shot up at the noise, but Rory instantly distracted her with an anecdote Logan had recently shared with her about London. Even so, Luke pushed forward a little, as if challenging Lorelai to let him investigate the person at the door. But Lorelai stood firm, refusing to move as she slipped her hands up from his chest to his shoulders. Although his face was in shadows because most of the lights in the house were turned off, she held his gaze as best she could, willing him to stay still and not try to confront the man neither of them wanted to see.

"Christopher!" she heard her mother say in feigned surprise.

"Emily..." His voice was softer, obviously confused as he noted her state of dress.

"I tried to call you earlier but I couldn't get through to your phone. I had to cancel dinner tonight. I'm feeling a bit under the weather." To emphasize her point, Emily sneezed loudly.

"I know she's here, Emily. Her car's parked right out front," Christopher insisted. Luke tensed once again, and for a second Lorelai thought he would move around her.

"Lorelai's car is here because she came by earlier to check on me. Richard is out of town, so she wanted to make sure I didn't need anything," Lorelai heard her mother say matter-of-factly. "She was having engine trouble, so Rory gave her a ride home. I expect she'll be back to pick up her car in the morning."

There was a long pause. Then Christopher began to say, "I don't know what she's told you-"

"She hasn't told me anything," Emily said honestly. "Why? Is there something to tell? You seem awfully suspicious that Lorelai is here and hiding from you. Why would she be hiding from you? What did you do, Christopher?"

"Uh..."

For once, Lorelai felt grateful for her mother's 'bad cop' style interrogation skills. Although she could not see him, she knew from years of experience that Rory's father was having trouble formulating a response that would not earn more of her wrath.

"Look, Emily, when you see her, just let her know I want to talk to her," he finally mustered. She made no verbal response, but the sound of the front door shutting resounded throughout the silent house.

Luke relaxed and Lorelai let her arms drop down from his shoulders to gently take his hands. "Thank you," she whispered. He merely nodded in response.

When her mother walked by them into the dining room, Lorelai did a double-take. She was no longer wearing the white bath robe or the slippers. Instead, she had on a perfectly respectable dress and matching jacket, along with slip-on shoes. Seeing Lorelai's look of confusion, Emily quietly informed her, "What? You actually thought I'd come to dinner in my dressing gown? I had it on under my robe. Now can we please sit down and have a nice family dinner?"

And with all the confidence and self assurance of someone who had planned and overseen a hundred social events, the eldest Gilmore girl sat down at the table and took a sip of wine, waiting until Luke and Lorelai had taken their seats to begin dinner.

"So you must be April..."

* * *

"Wow, Mom. You really out-did yourself this time," Lorelai commented as she finished her last bite of dessert. 

"Yeah, the food was delicious," Rory added.

"I'm glad you liked it."

April chimed in politely, "Thank you for inviting me to dinner, Mrs. Gilmore."

"Well, thank you for coming to dinner," Emily said with a smile. "I've enjoyed being able to visit with you. If I had known about your accident sooner, I would have sent you some flowers in the hospital." The look of disapproval she shot at her own daughter was not lost on anyone.

"That's okay," April said dismissively. "I had plenty of flowers. And balloons. I practically had the entire gift shop in my hospital room."

"Well, since I wasn't able to send you anything then, I thought I'd give you something tonight to make up for it," Emily said, getting up from the table and walking into the adjacent room. Alarm flashed across Lorelai's face as she wondered what her mother could have bought for her future (current) step-daughter. She looked at Rory who simply shrugged.

When Emily returned, she was holding a blue sparkly gift bag stuffed with white tissue paper. She set it on the table in front of April, who glanced at Luke to see if it was all right to accept the present. But he only nodded slightly in response, and April dug into the bag.

"Sudoku..." she read, pulling out three books with the subject emblazoned on the front.

"Rory said you were very smart, and the man at the bookstore said that 'Sudoku' game is very popular right now," Emily said.

"I love Sudoku," April said, looking up to smile at the older woman. "I do the one in the paper every week. Thank you, Mrs. Gilmore."

"You're welcome. And please, call me Emily." Glancing quickly around the table, she added, "Everyone else does."

As the meal wound to an end, Lorelai got up to help her mother take dishes into the kitchen. It was an occupation neither of them were used to as Emily was never without a maid to take care of such tasks and Lorelai rarely used real dishes at her house unless Luke was cooking. But the elder Gilmore graciously took on the task and enlisted her daughter to help, mostly for the purpose of seeking information in the safe confines of the kitchen.

"April seems very nice," she commented.

"Yes she is," Lorelai agreed. While her mother simply left the dirty dishes on the counter, she automatically began the process of rinsing them and placing them in the dish washer.

"And very intelligent. That science project she was telling us about..."

"Yeah, I have no idea," she answered with a shrug. "But Rory says its college-level advanced, so I'd say she's pretty smart."

"Are you sure she's Luke's? I wouldn't trust a test done by a twelve-year-old, no matter how smart she is."

Lorelai rolled her eyes at the back-handed insult disguised as an ill-timed segue. But rather than call her on it and cause a scene or shouting match, she simply let it slide and pretended not to notice.

"Yes, we're sure. They had an official test done a few weeks ago so Luke could apply for joint custody," she told her mother.

"Good," Emily said succinctly, closing the subject like the lid on a box. "Now tell me what's going on with Christopher."

As patient as she had been all evening with her mother, Lorelai had no desire to discuss that particular situation with her. Calmly, she answered, "Nothing, Mom. And its none of your business."

"It most certainly is my business! You're my daughter and he's the father of my granddaughter, not to mention the son of a very good friend of mine. I answered the door to my own home in a bathrobe tonight, Lorelai, just for you, to help you _hide _like you always do. And this is the thanks I get? 'Its none of your business.' I don't know what I did to deserve such treatment from you-"

"Mom, would you just stop?" Lorelai begged, putting her hand to her head in an attempt to sooth the dull throbbing that had begun with with the word 'Christopher.'

"I'm just saying, I'm your mother. I deserve to know these things..."

"Mom, Rory said she told you thatChris and I had a fight. What she didn't tell you is that I did something really stupid and I almost lost Luke. Chris tried to make it worse, he wouldn't leave it alone, so I'm done with him. For my sake, for Luke's sake, for the sake of our family." Sighing, Lorelai said, "Okay? Are you satisfied now?"

Emily was quiet for a long moment, and she looked as though she were digesting her daughter's words. After a moment, Lorelai wondered if she had pushed her mother too far.

Finally, she spoke. "You said 'our family.' You and Luke's family. Is there something I should know? Are you pregnant?"

Trying not to roll her eyes at the sound of disappointment in her mother's voice, Lorelai shook her head, trying not to betray her own reserve in doing so. "No, I'm not pregnant. And we are a family - me, Luke, Rory, and April. Not your conventional family, but since when have I ever done anything the normal way?"

Frowning slightly in thought, Emily pursued the one statement that interested her. "You're not pregnant. But you want to be," she surmised. When Lorelai failed to contradict the statement but rather stood with her arms crossed staring at the floor, she took her silence as confirmation. "Lorelai! You're not even married yet and you're _trying _to get pregnant?"

"Mom, I'm not sixteen anymore. I'm almost forty years old. My biological clock is winding down. The chances of my having another kid get lower and lower every year."

"But why can't you wait until after the wedding?" Her mother seemed appalled at the idea of seeing her daughter pregnant as she walked down the aisle, despite the fact that she had pushed for that exact outcome when Lorelai was sixteen.

"Luke and I don't want to wait. And to me, _we are married_. I feel as though we've been married for years. He's always been there for me, always. And I want to be able to give him this." More than anything, she wanted to give Luke a child he could hold as a baby. A little boy or girl who he could teach to walk and talk and flip burgers on the grill. A child he could watch grow up before him, not in pictures or through stories. Having missed all that with April (and with Rory, when she considered it), she knew he wanted to experience the full course of fatherhood.

Emily's eyes narrowed instantly as her lips pursed and her body visibly stiffened. "He's pushing this, isn't he? He's pushing you to get pregnant right away," she challenged.

"No, Mother, he's not pushing me to do anything!" Lorelai said as she threw her hands up in the air, thoroughly irritated by the entire conversation. "_We _talked about it and _we _decided. We want to have a baby - both of us. And it doesn't matter when we have the wedding or when I get pregnant, because this is _our _life. His and mine."

"Fine, then I'll just stay out of it," her mother conceded sharply. Lorelai waited for the parting shot, the classic Emily-comment that always soured the end of their conversations and made her regret ever telling the woman anything. "But don't say I didn't tell you so if on your wedding day your dress doesn't fit."

_There it is. _This time, she was not going to let her mother have the last word.

"I can sew, Mom. I'll let it out."

"Or if people say things about you having a baby out of wedlock."

"I _did _have a baby out of wedlock. Have you met Rory?"

"Or if you're too nauseous to enjoy your wedding cake."

"Luke doesn't like cake anyway. He'll be thrilled to skip that particular tradition."

Lorelai's response to their rapid-fire exchange brought Emily up short. "Luke doesn't like cake?" she asked, incredulous.

"Its bad for you," she explained, trying to imitate the tone of voice her fiance always used when admonishing her eating habits. "He doesn't like junk food or coffee either."

"He sells coffee," Emily pointed out.

"The irony isn't lost on any of us," she said.

The sigh of resignation her mother let out was a signal to Lorelai that the war of wills was over. Win, lose, or draw, Emily Gilmore would simply have to live with her daughter's life decisions. She did not agree with them or support them, but Lorelai had to make her own mistakes, just as she always had. And while Emily considered trying for a baby before their wedding to be an ill-favored course of action, if they were successful, there was no doubt that she would want to be a part of her potential grandchild's life.

So, in a sense, it would be a win-win situation for her. If Lorelai did not get pregnant before the wedding, there would be no whispered comments behind well-manicured hands or indiscreet looks. But if she did get pregnant, Emily would have another grandchild. Unlike with Rory, this time she wanted to see her grandchild grow up, not just on the occasional holiday or birthday.

"You'll have to give up coffee when you're pregnant," she pointed out.

"Rory turned out okay," Lorelai said quietly, not ready to concede that particular battle just yet.

Rather than argue with her, Emily simply smiled, remembering her own pregnancy and her less than strict adherence to doctor's orders on such matters. "So did you," she confided.

* * *

As Luke climbed into bed later that night, Lorelai was already waiting for him, dressed in the green silk nightie she had bought for their Valentine's Day trip to Martha's Vineyard. She only wore it every once in a while, usually preferring to wear one of his flannel shirts or a t-shirt. However, the combination of the hot June weather and so much talk of pregnancy made her want to wear it while she could still fit into it.

Once again, Lorelai mentally chastised herself for thinking about pregnancy as a foregone conclusion. She was considering forcing Luke to learn the anti-jinx ceremony Rory had taught her when his voice interrupted her thoughts.

"I think it went pretty well tonight," he said.

She tried to keep the dubious look from her face, but Luke noted that she seemed just as disbelieving as when he had asked her to dance at Liz's wedding, as though she was not sure if he was joking or being serious.

"I assume you mean after the part where my mother pretended to have the West Nile virus," she said, eluding to the incident with Christopher but not wanting to mention his name.

"No, well... there was that, but I thought everything else was fine. April had a good time."

"Yeah, she and Emily seemed to really hit it off," Lorelai agreed. "It was kind of amazing. Well, not really, I guess. My parents always loved Rory, and April's a lot like Rory. Just the right blend of smart and sweet."

"I was surprised that your mother wanted to meet April so much," Luke ventured.

"She's wanted to meet her for a long time. She even played cards with some random little girl from the diner that she thought was April. But that was a while ago, back before I really even met April - officially, at least."

Lorelai yawned before burrowing further under the covers. On cue, Luke reached over to turn off the light on his side of the bed. As she rolled onto one side with her back to him, he moved to lay next to her, leaving some space between them but close enough to drape a protective arm across her side. As if of its own accord, his hand came to rest on her stomach.

"You think our kids will be as smart as Rory and April?" he whispered softly.

He could hear the amusement in her voice as she sleepily answered, "Only if you let me drink a little coffee."


	4. Basking In It

Author's Note: This chapter's mostly fluff, but I'll be getting to more serious stuff soon.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 4: Basking In It**

The next month went by in a whirl-wind. Rory was in summer school, intent on catching up on the classes she had missed during her fall semester sabbatical. April had the cast on her arm taken off and graduated to crutches before the doctors took the cast off of her leg as well. With the summer season came hoards of tourists, filling both the diner and the inn with customers and leaving Luke and Lorelai working more often than they would have preferred. Although, as Lorelai pointed out one day, having his apartment right above the diner did make sneaking off for an hour during the afternoon much easier and more convenient. And, as he noted in his shyly flirtatious manner, 'trying' certainly provided an extra incentive for them to find more time to be together.

Every night, no matter how early he had to get up or how late she had to stay at the inn, they always slept in the same bed. Occasionally, when he had early deliveries the next day, she would slip into the diner apartment hours after he had fallen asleep and crawl under the covers next to him. And while Lorelai did everything she could not to wake him, he would inevitably stir in his sleep and reach out to make contact with her. She never minded his comforting touches or even that more mornings than not, she awoke with his arm across her body. He did it unconsciously, almost protectively, and quite possibly to reassure himself that she was still there.

For Lorelai, all she knew was that they had to sleep together at night. When they let circumstances separate them, that never turned out well for them. As well, when she had first started going to bed early with Luke on the nights before his early mornings, she did so with the memory of his brief and disastrous marriage to Nicole. Although he claimed to have lived with Nicole, he still spent most of his nights at the diner. Lorelai never wanted it to be that way between them. Not only did she want Luke to _want _to stay with her, on the nights when it made sense for him not to, she wanted to be flexible and available for him.

But since their secret wedding ceremony, Luke had spent fewer and fewer nights at the diner, choosing instead to simply wake up a few minutes early and walk over from their house. That had been the plan during the remodel, but somehow during the mess with April, Anna, and Christopher, Luke had reverted back to his old ways and taken up residence at his apartment more and more. But now, it was rarely used for sleeping. That space was their daytime escape, their home away from home (or work). Lorelai was certain that when she did get pregnant, she would be able to trace the conception directly back to Luke's bed above the diner. The thought of it always made her smile.

"What are you thinking about?" Luke asked one such afternoon as they laid together in that very bed, wrapped in a tangle of limbs and flannel sheets. She was pressed into the crook of his arm, her head on his chest with one arm draped across his body. She felt him tracing designs on her bare shoulder and back with a finger, and the sensation made her skin tingle.

"What makes you think I was thinking about something?" Lorelai retorted, her voice full of amusement. One of the things Luke loved most about her was her endless energy and her enormous capacity for finding happiness under any circumstance. But what humbled him the most were the moments that the outer facade slipped, and the real Lorelai shone through, aglow with contentment.

"You look like you were thinking about something," he said.

"Maybe I was just basking," she argued good-naturedly.

"Basking?" He smirked, and his roving finger paused as he looked into her eyes.

"Yes, basking. You know - _in the moment_," she teased gently. "Why? What are you thinking about?"

"You."

"What about me?" Lorelai asked, struggling to contain the giddiness in her voice. She loved Luke's pillow-talk. He expressed his emotions so rarely that it was always a treat when he put his feelings into words.

"You're incredible," he said, shifting so that he could kiss her fully on the lips.

As he pulled away, she found herself grinning back at him. "You're pretty incredible yourself," she told him.

"You're gorgeous..." He punctuated the sentiment with another kiss, this time to her neck, on the skin just below her jaw. She sighed at the sensation. "And I don't know what I did to deserve you," he finished, moving down so that he could better access her collar bone and the fascinating areas of her body below it.

"Well, I'd guess that you slayed quite a few monsters in a past life," Lorelai quipped, her breath catching in her throat as his lips moved across her skin.

"Must have."

* * *

When their stolen afternoon had faded into evening, Luke knew he needed to return down stairs to assist with the dinner crowd. As well, Lorelai had plenty of work to finish at the inn. 

"You closing the diner tonight?" she asked him as she calmly gathered up her hastily strewn clothes and put them back on.

"Yeah," Luke answered as he checked under the bed for his baseball cap. "I gave Caesar the night off. What about you? Staying late?"

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "The night manager can't come in until midnight, and Michel has threatened to quit if I make him work another late night."

"So I guess I'll just meet you at home," he said, somewhat sadly. He hated the nights where he was already asleep when she got there. He always slept worse not knowing when she would be home.

"Wake me up before you leave tomorrow morning," she told him, even though she knew he would never do such a thing. He hated disturbing her sleep even more than she hated disturbing his. But before he could disagree, suggested, "Or I'll just see you at the diner tomorrow for breakfast."

"I hate that we have to schedule time together like this," he grumbled. Lorelai nodded sadly in agreement as she walked over to him. She gently wrapped her arms around his waist, letting them hang loose as she held his body against hers. He instinctively returned the gesture, letting his long arms encircle hers, making for a warm yet relaxed embrace.

"Maybe we should schedule something fun," she suggested.

"I thought that's what we were doing," he teased in return.

"Not just the 'dirty' fun stuff. I mean, maybe we can do something just the two of us. Like go to a baseball game or go fishing or something."

Luke snorted in amusement. "You hate baseball. And you hate fishing."

"But you don't," she pointed out. "And we always do things I want to do. We can do things you want to do. What about camping? You like camping. We could go camping."

"Lorelai, we don't have to go camping."

"Then what do you want to do?" Suddenly very excited about the notion of participating in a patented 'Luke' activity, she said, "You pick. Anything you want to do, we'll do it. Fishing, camping, hunting, whatever."

"Hunting?" Luke asked, incredulous.

"Okay, probably not hunting. Although I'd probably get to buy a new outfit..."

"I'll think of something we can _both _enjoy," he stated, putting the matter to rest.

They stood together for several more minutes, neither wanting to break the perfect moment between them. But eventually, Luke disengaged himself, and Lorelai did the same, each knowing that the longer they put off returning to work, the more chaotic it would be when they finally got back to it.

"You'll be in for breakfast?" Luke asked as they made their way to the door and the stairs beyond.

"Definitely," she assured him, stopping to give him a quick kiss before disappearing down the steps and out the front door of the diner.

* * *

When Luke returned down stairs to his usual activity of wiping down the counter, he noticed that several of his customers were eyeing him curiously. Specifically, Kirk had been watching his every move as though he were studying the last specimen of an endangered species. As well, Babette and Miss Patty, safely sipping coffee at one of the window tables, had not taken their eyes off him either. Luke decided to take Kirk on first as he was more easily intimidated than the town gossips. 

"Why are you staring at me, Kirk?" he asked, puffing out his chest to look as scary as possible.

"You've been gone for three hours and thirty-seven minutes, which is exactly seven minutes more than Lorelai was upstairs with you," Kirk informed him stiffly.

"You timed me?" Luke asked in disbelief.

"Yes," he answered, as though an 'of course' should have followed his response.

"Don't do that." His voice was firm and commanding with just the right tone to convey a threat without requiring the words.

"Luke, honey, come'ere!" Babette called him over, and for once Luke was glad for the distraction.

Pulling out his ever-present order pad, he asked, "What can I get for you two?"

"I'll take whatever Lorelai's been having," Patty said, giving him an obvious wink.

"Ah, jeez," Luke muttered, letting the pad fall to his side. "Can't you two just mind your own business?"

"You're gonna wear that girl out, Luke, if you're not careful," Babette warned. "You two are practically acting like newly weds, and it's still seven months 'til your wedding."

Luke's eyes went wide at the insinuation of he and Lorelai being newly weds, and he was about to respond with an ill-considered defense when Patty joined in.

"It didn't sound like Lorelai minded to me," was her lurid comment.

"Yeah, she looked pretty happy when she walked by a few minutes ago," Babette agreed.

"Okay, can we get get off the subject of my sex life?" Luke pleaded desperately, embarrassment plainly written all over his face.

"Whatever you say, suga'," Babette said. "But don't forget to save some of that for the wedding night!"

"Jeez," he muttered as he walked back to the counter.

* * *

It was nearly six o'clock by the time Lorelai arrived back at the Dragonfly, having left Michel in charge of things earlier that afternoon. His mood had not improved with the passing hours, having changed from annoyed to angry to downright enraged. He spent at least ten minutes informing her of her inconsiderate actions, leaving him all alone to deal with guests checking in and out _and _manning the phone. But Michel finally gave up when he realized that her arrival had freed him from his constraint behind the desk, and he was gone before Lorelai realized he had stopped yelling at her. 

Despite Michel's rant, Lorelai retained her happy disposition, thinking as she worked of the hours spent with Luke. But sitting at the desk was a tedious job, and before long the last of the guests had gone upstairs to their rooms, leaving the lobby dark and quiet. Like the faint smell of lilacs, a wisp of a memory drifted over her.

_"I thought we were on track, and now you're standing there looking at me like I'm crazy!"_

_"I'm not looking at you like you're crazy!"_

_"You know the last time I bought flowers for someone? Never! That's when! Very easy stat to remember!"_

_"I loved the flowers!" _

_"And then when I walked you home after the wedding - there was a moment. At least, I thought there was a moment."_

_"There was! There was a moment..." Luke paused for a second, then began to approach her. "What are you doing?"_

_"Will you just stand still?"_

Their first kiss, right there at the front door of the Dragonfly. And their second kiss, when she thought about it. Unfortunately, Kirk interrupted their third kiss, and as funny as it was to see Kirk running through town naked, she had always regretted the loss of that third kiss. The seven long weeks that followed had thankfully been punctuated by telephone calls, but the sound of Luke's voice could never replace the feel of his lips on hers.

A voice from across the room broke through the silence, startling her out of her reflection.

"Hey, Lor."


	5. Looking For It

Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews. I have come to discover that they really are like bread and butter for a fanfic writer. As for Christopher, I wanted to address some comments and mention that he is but a component of this story, mostly because I don't see him easily dissuaded in the reality created by the show. I see Luke and Lorelai as having to confront multiple obstacles as they make their way towards their "middle," and that's basically what this story is about. As well, I think Lorelai needs to find her own resolution to the Christopher situation, as the problems with him are as much about her own behavior as they are about him.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Looking For It**

"Hey, Lor."

The voice was so incongruous from the memories of her first kiss with Luke that it took her a moment to realize the front door had opened and someone had slipped inside.

"Christopher? What are you doing here?" she demanded, her shock instantly morphing into anger.

"Please, Lorelai, just give me one minute," he begged. He held up his hands and placed his back to the front door, keeping a good distance from her at the front desk. "I won't come near you, see? I'll stay right over here. I just wanted to check on you, see how you're doing. And I wanted to apologize for before."

"Chris, you have to leave," she told him urgently. "You can't be here. This is my _business_. This is where I work."

"I promise, I'll go in just a second," he swore. He looked tired and even thinner than when she had seen him last. There were bags under his eyes and he seemed to have aged twenty years in just a few weeks. "Please, just hear me out."

"There is nothing to hear, Chris. We've said all there is to say. I'm with Luke - we're getting married."

"I know, I know. I just wanted to tell you that... I'm sorry, for all the problems I caused you. I never meant for any of that stuff to happen, Lor."

Lorelai crossed her arms and glared at him. "You mean the part where we slept together or the part where you kissed me or the part where you got into a fight with my fiance in my front yard?"

"All of it, Lor. I'm sorry for all of it. I never meant to cause you any pain, please believe me. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy."

She stiffened at his words, and she felt guilty by how much they touched her on an emotional level.

"I am happy," she informed him stiffly.

"Good. I'm glad."

He stood for a few seconds more, not speaking, as though he wanted to say something but could not find the words. The panic began to return to Lorelai's mind. What would Luke think if he found Chris there with her?

"Lor-"

"You need to leave, Christopher. You've said your peace. I accept your apology. I'm fine. Now go."

He sighed deeply, and she could tell that he wanted to approach her by the way he stared at the space between them.

"Has he hurt you?" he asked suddenly, sharply.

"What?" Lorelai's immediate reaction was confusion - surprise and confusion. Was he talking about Luke? Why would Luke hurt her?

"You know who, Lor. Has he hurt you? He decked me when I was at your house before. I just want to know if he's done anything like that to _you_. Has he hurt you at all?"

Comprehension dawned, and her mouth dropped open as she realized exactly what he was asking.

"No," she managed finally. "He hasn't hurt me. I can't believe you would even suggest such a thing. Luke would never so much as lay a hand on me. That's just... not him. He would _never _do that-"

"Lorelai, I was just asking because-"

"Because he hit you? Well, yeah, he did hit you. And I must say, you are the first person I have ever seen him deck like that, and that's probably because you kissed me and then you refused to let go of me." She remembered a time when Luke got into a fight with Dean after the first breakup with Rory, but that had been minor and no one had gotten hurt. Luke was trying to protect Rory from the heartache of seeing her ex-boyfriend show up in the diner. "That's what Luke does - protect people."

"Lor, he hit me. Without provocation. How do I know he won't do that to you? That he hasn't already? He's got a temper on him, Lorelai, and he's very controlling of you. He won't let you see me..."

By this time, Lorelai had passed the point of hearing anything her daughter's father had to say about Luke or anything else. The words bursting forth from his mouth had such little relation to reality that she had trouble comprehending their meaning. All she knew was that Chris was there, talking to her, and he had no reason to be. She had no wish to listen to him, nor did she _have _to listen to him.

Picking up the phone, she started to dial.

"Who are you calling?" he wanted to know.

"I'm calling the police. I've asked you to leave, and you're still here. I'm going to have you arrested for trespassing."

"Lorelai-" He took a step towards her, but the immediate flash of anger in her eyes forced him back. "Fine, I'll leave," he said, opening the front door behind him. "But I just want you to be safe." With that parting shot, he closed the door behind him.

She immediately hung up the phone, not having actually been in the process of calling the police. In truth, she had been dialing Luke's number at the diner, but had decided against calling him half-way through the number. She knew that if she said Christopher's name that he would be there immediately. But Lorelai had no desire to see either of them get into another fight. Not only would it lend credence to Chris's argument regarding Luke's violent nature, but she hated to see him caught up in her old problems.

The rest of the night went by without further disturbance, and Lorelai was able to get home a little after midnight. As expected, Luke was sound asleep in bed. As much as she wanted to talk to him and let him know about seeing Christopher, she refused to disturb his sleep for something that could wait until morning. Instead, she simply changed into one of his t-shirts that she wore to bed during the summer and crawled under the covers next to him.

* * *

"Luke, I need some coffee over here!" 

"I've been waiting for my food for half an hour!"

"Suga', we got better service after you and Lorelai broke up..."

The first thing Lorelai noticed as she entered was that the diner was packed. Every table was full, as were the stools at the counter. She heard someone say that Al's had closed for the day, which meant that all his business had come calling at Luke's. As well, it was late morning, just before lunch time when it would normally be busy anyway. And, to make matters worse, Luke was frantically rushing around trying to take orders, cook, and serve, all by himself.

Lorelai immediately jumped into action, ducking behind the counter to grab the coffee pot, then proceeding to refill everyone in the immediate vicinity. Luke noticed her as he left the kitchen carrying several plates laden with food.

"Hey, you don't have to do that," he protested.

"You're swamped! Where are Caesar and Lane?"

"Caesar's sick - I sent him home this morning. And I called Lane. She's supposed to be here in a few minutes." Their conversation tapered off as he set down the orders he was carrying and tried to deal with the few irate customers who did not know Luke well enough to realize that harassment was not an effective way to get faster service.

When he returned behind the counter, he waved for Lorelai to follow him as he headed back into the kitchen. "Do you want me to make you something to eat?" he asked her.

"No, that's okay. I'm supposed to meet my mother for lunch. She left a message at the house last night. She wants to help with the wedding."

"And you're okay with that?" Luke asked.

Lorelai shrugged. "This has been her dream since I was sixteen. If input on the invitations and flowers will make her happy, then we might as well go with it." Noting the skeptical look on his face, she said, "But this is still _our _wedding. Any final decisions go through us. Both of us. What do you say?"

"Lorelai, I want you to have whatever wedding you want..."

"Both of us," she reiterated strongly. "Okay?"

He smiled and nodded in agreement. "Okay."

"Except the dress - that's all mine," she added. Luke rolled his eyes, but she knew he would not argue. "And the flowers. You don't really want to be in on the flower decision, do you?"

"Lorelai..." He gestured to the multitude of customers waiting for him.

"Okay, we'll talk about this later."

He was almost out the door of the kitchen when she realized what else she needed to discuss with him. "Luke?" He turned around briefly, but his annoyed expression made her think twice about bringing up her confrontation with Christopher the night before. "Never mind," she said. "We can talk about it later."

Giving her a nod of thanks, Luke returned to his busy duties, and Lorelai was left with a sick feeling in her stomach, somewhere between guilt and dread.

* * *

"I think that since you're having your wedding so near Valentine's Day that you ought to do something rose-themed," Emily said authoritatively as they walked through the small flower shop in Hartford. They had already eaten lunch and to keep her mother off the subject of pre-wedding pregnancies, Lorelai had distracted her with the possibility of choosing flowers for the wedding. 

"I didn't know roses were a theme, Mom," she said, attempting to keep her voice light. She had been having trouble concentrating on anything since her aborted conversation with Luke that morning.

"You know what I mean. You can't very well have a wedding without flowers. And nothing says a February wedding better than red and white roses."

Lorelai frowned. "I don't know. That's awfully traditional."

"And you always have to be different, is that it? Well, far be it for me to stop you. Walk down the aisle with a bouquet full of weeds for all I care."

"Mom..."

After further bickering and debate, they left the shop having decided on nothing except that there would indeed have to be flowers at the wedding. However, on the drive back to the restaurant where Lorelai had left her car, Emily noticed that her daughter had grown silent as she stared out the window distractedly.

"What's the matter?" she asked. When she did not respond right away, Emily said more forcefully, "Lorelai!"

This caught her attention. "What?"

"You've been quiet all day, and you haven't said a word since we got in the car, which by anyone else's standards might not mean anything. But for you, going five minutes without talking is like going five minutes without breathing. So I wanted to know, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Mom." She rubbed a hand over the side of her face, hoping the dull ache in her temple would not blossom into a full-blown headache.

"Is it Rory? Have you two had another falling out again?"

"No, Mom. Rory's fine. I'm actually supposed to meet her later to go shopping."

"Then what is it? Is it Luke? You two were having problems before and you didn't tell me," Emily chastised. "What does it say about our relationship that you don't even tell me about these things?"

"I did tell you," Lorelai said quietly. "Just not right away."

"You're my daughter. I want to know what's going on in your life. When you're getting married. When you're not getting married. When you're planning to have kids - which by the way, I still think you should wait until you're married. And now you're completely distracted and worried about something and you won't tell me why."

They had stopped at a light and Emily turned to give her daughter her most genuine expression of maternal concern. Embedded within her eyes was a plea for Lorelai to tell her what was upsetting her.

Lorelai sighed in resignation, knowing that she would not be allowed out of the car until she had given her mother some explanation as to her subdued behavior. "Chris came to the Dragonfly last night," she said finally.

"Chris?" her mother repeated. "As in Christopher? Rory's father? I thought you weren't speaking to him."

"I'm not."

"Well I haven't talked to him since the other night when I lied to him about dinner being canceled," Emily said, immediately going into defensive mode. "Which, by the way, was very embarrassing. I hope you're satisfied with my level of dedication to your privacy."

"I am, Mom, and thank you for getting rid of Chris. I didn't say you'd sent him out there, if that's what you think I'm accusing you of. He just showed up, is all. And he said some things..."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing important. He apologized, said he was worried about me." She purposely left out the part where Christopher had blatantly accused Luke of abusing her or at least being capable of such behavior. Those comments were so hateful and untrue that they did not deserve repeating.

"Well, that's nice," Emily replied, having always liked Rory's father.

"No, its not. He said he still loves me, that he'll always love me. I don't know what to do about him, Mom. I don't know what I'm supposed to do if he keeps coming around. And I don't want him to come between me and Luke again."

"Have you told Luke that you talked to him last night?" she asked.

"No..." Lorelai looked guiltily at the floor of the car. "He was asleep when I got home and there wasn't time this morning." Seeing her mother's eyebrow shoot up in an expression of skepticism, she added, "I'm telling Luke tonight. I just don't want him to freak out about this. Christopher is out of my life and he's going to stay that way."

"Whatever you say," Emily said half-heartedly.

"Yeah," Lorelai sighed, not entirely believing it either.

* * *

Lorelai met Rory on the edge of campus as she got out of one of her summer classes. It still amazed her that her daughter was not only in college, but that she was in such a prestigious school as Yale University. She had the kind of life, full of opportunities, that Lorelai had always wanted for her. The kind of life she herself had given up when she left her parents at the age of seventeen and showed up with a baby in hand at the Independence Inn. The kind of life she wanted for the children she hoped to have with Luke. 

As Rory got into the passenger's side of the jeep, Lorelai was hit with an odd pang of hunger. She had eaten lunch with her mother not more than a few hours before, but suddenly she was hungry again. Specifically, she had a craving for fruit. Although the idea of apples did not particularly entice her, she definitely found the idea of fresh oranges (or orange juice) to be very appetizing.

"What's the matter?" Rory asked when Lorelai failed to pull away from the curb.

"Nothing," she said quickly, refocusing her attention on the road as she pulled into traffic.

However, an hour and a long walk through the mall later, Lorelai still could not get over the strange fruit cravings that were assaulting her stomach. As she and Rory took a break from their outing in the food court, Lorelai gave in to the insistence of her stomach and ordered a strawberry-orange-banana smoothie. Hearing the abundance of fruit flavorings in the title of the drink, Rory eyed her mother curiously.

"Just a craving..." Lorelai explained, but her words only succeeded in earning Rory's undivided attention.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" she asked her mother knowingly.

"No, there's nothing I want to tell you, because there's nothing to tell. I felt like a smoothie. I bought a smoothie. End of story."

"Yeah, you ordered a _fruit _smoothie. If you ordered your typical chocolate coconut marshmallow smoothie, I wouldn't be asking questions. Besides, the last time you were craving fruit, you called me in a panic because you thought you were pregnant," Rory pointed out.

Lorelai rolled her eyes, annoyed at the memory, partially because she had gotten worked up over nothing and partially because of her secret disappointment over not actually having been pregnant. "Well, I wasn't, so obviously the fruit thing makes a bad pregnancy test."

"So you're not pregnant?" Rory confirmed.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, maybe? Luke and I have been trying, but there's no reason to think that I am."

"Except that you're suddenly craving fruit, which in and of itself is weird. But you told me that you ate apples the whole time you were pregnant with me."

"Well, I haven't been craving apples. I've been craving oranges. They are two totally different foods. As different as... apples and oranges!"

"Mom..."

Lorelai bowed her head, tired of talking about the subject of pregnancy. "Look Rory, can we just drop it? I don't want to get my hopes up only to have it turn out that I'm not. Okay?"

Rory nodded and rubbed her arm reassuringly. "Sure, okay."

"Thanks. Now tell me about how Logan's doing in London. Has he met the queen yet...?"

After they finished their smoothies and returned to their previous occupation of wandering the mall, Lorelai could not get over the possibility that she may be pregnant. It was as though every where she looked she saw an obviously pregnant woman, or a father carrying a toddler, or the Baby Gap, or a maternity clothes store. Everything reminded her of babies, and the desire to go out and buy a home pregnancy test was so strong that she almost did so after dropping Rory off. But ultimately, she decided to just wait and see, hoping that if she was meant to get pregnant so quickly, she would. If nothing else, thoughts of babies and pregnancy succeeded in distracting her attention away from the other concern that had been plaguing her all day: telling Luke about Christopher's surprise visit.


	6. Missing It

**Chapter 6: Missing It**

Two weeks later, Lorelai still had not gotten a pregnancy test, although the fruit cravings had remained with her intermittently. And, to make matters even more frustrating, she was three days late. It was not an unprecedented amount of time for her body to be off, but the small glimmer of hope she had developed during her conversation with Rory at the mall had grown into a bout of full-blown longing. Every time Luke touched her, she wanted to tell him about her suspicions. But, at the same time, she did not want to get his hopes up only to find out - like last time - that she was not actually pregnant.

As well, things with Luke had been somewhat weird lately. After promising her mother to tell him about Christopher's visit, she had done so as soon as he got home from the diner that evening. It was a tense conversation with Lorelai relaying the information as best she could without sounding guilty.

Even though she had not called or contacted Chris since that one terrible night, she still carried the burden of having let him re-enter their lives. She had slept with him. In her mind, it was her fault that he continued to pursue her. And while she had considered the possibility of getting some sort of restraining order to force him to stay away, she could not reconcile herself to the notion without noting her responsibility for the whole situation.

She said so to Luke when he reacted angrily to Christopher's appearance at the Dragonfly.

"He can't just keep showing up, Lorelai!" he all but shouted. She did not realize then that most of his concern was for her safety and well-being and overall frustration with the situation rather than any doubt of her faithfulness.

"I know, and I promise, he won't," she tried to assure him. "He just stopped by to apologize and to check on me. Probably because of the mix-up with dinner at my parents' place." She once again left out the part where Chris alluded to Luke physically hurting her, knowing it would do no good to share such information when the situation was already so volatile.

"And he didn't try anything?" Luke confirmed.

"No, he didn't come near me. And when I told him to leave, he did." _He didn't leave _right away_, but he did leave when I threatened to call the police_, Lorelai amended to herself.

Luke stood quietly for a long moment, and she knew he was processing what she had told him. She wanted to offer him further assurances of both her devotion and Christopher's exile from her life, but she worried that he would misread the desperation in her voice.

Finally, he said, "I want you to let me know if he tries to contact you again. Right away. I don't care what time it is or where you are. I don't want him anywhere near you."

"Okay," Lorelai agreed. She knew that his declaration was one of protectiveness, that he wanted to keep Christopher from ruining their lives again. But a small voice inside her, one that sounded suspiciously like Chris himself, repeated the very same words he had said to her about Luke: _He's got a temper on him, Lorelai, and he's very controlling of you. He won't let you see me... _She pushed the voice away urgently, not wanting to remember his vicious statements.

And it was not as though she wanted to see Christopher. Far from it. Even the thought of him was a reminder of her indiscretion, of the pain she had brought Luke. Given half a chance, she would have gladly hopped in H.G. Well's time machine and prevented herself from having driven to Boston that night, from knocking on his door, from initiating something she would regret the rest of her life.

But Lorelai had reconciled herself to the fact that she could not change the past. She could only try to make the future bright for herself and for Luke. And the key to that was keeping Christopher far away from both of them.

As Lorelai pulled up in front of her house, having gotten off work early for once, she noted with surprise that Luke's truck was in the drive. Normally he left it parked at the diner in case he needed to run somewhere during the day and just walked back to the house after work. As well, she found it strange that he would be home so early, as Lane had indicated that the band had an engagement and Caesar had been taking more time off lately.

Entering the house, she was about to call out for her husband when she saw something very strange: a long, shimmering dress the color of midnight, hanging from the coat rack by the door. It had a clear plastic bag over the top and she could barely make out the figure on the tag safety-pinned to one of the spaghetti straps - the price was definitely in the three-figure range. Lifting up the edge of the plastic, she noted that the dress was exactly her size, and the skirt had slits on either side that would display a substantial portion of the wearer's thighs.

"You like it?" Luke asked, appearing through the door to the kitchen.

"Its beautiful," she said in awe, smoothing down the fabric. "What's the occasion?"

"Us," he answered simply. "You wanted us to do something _I _wanted to do, and I wanted to do something we _both _wanted to do. So this is a compromise. We're going out to dinner."

"And you got me a new outfit," she whispered, looking once again at the dress as she remembered her comment regarding the upside of a hunting trip.

"Yeah, I hope it fits. I told the lady at the store your size, or at least what it says on the clothes you wear the most often, and she said this should probably work..."

"I can't believe you bought me a dress," Lorelai said quietly, turning to look in his eyes. "This is so sweet, Luke, thank you."

He looked away timidly as his cheeks flushed with color. As much as he enjoyed surprising Lorelai, he had never mastered the art of accepting anyone's gratitude, especially when it came in the form of two beautiful blue eyes and smile that made him weak in the knees.

"You're welcome," he said awkwardly. "Better get ready. Our reservations are for eight o'clock."

Much to her delight, Luke wore a suit and tie to dinner that evening, and of his own accord. She knew the restaurant had to be someplace fancy in Hartford, but she was surprised when they pulled up to one of the most expensive places in town. Handing his truck key to the valet, Luke escorted Lorelai inside and gave their name and a hefty tip to the man behind the reservation desk. Although she knew he disliked such places, Lorelai could not help but feel that he was enjoying taking her out someplace nice.

The dress she wore fit perfectly, hugging all the right places and showing enough skin to draw more than a few appreciative glances. But she did not realize the entire reason for the dress until she saw the sizable dance floor in the middle of the restaurant with the live band to one side. A number of couples had already taken the floor, and Lorelai saw Luke watch them with reserved curiosity.

After being seated and ordering drinks, Luke stood up unceremoniously and offered Lorelai his hand, indicating that he wished to lead her out onto the dance floor. Surprised and pleased beyond words, she complied instantly, taking his hand and his lead.

As they moved to the music, Lorelai marveled at how well they fit together. She knew it was cliche, but they seemed so right, it was as though they had been made for each other - body and soul. The dance of course reminded her of their first "date" and their first dance at Liz's wedding. She remembered being surprised that Luke could dance, but that feeling was overshadowed by the level of emotion she had seen in his eyes. For a man who claimed to have difficulty expressing himself in words, Luke certainly knew how to convey a message through expression and action. Just as he was doing at that moment, looking at her with such unrestrained love and adoration that Lorelai was not sure how to take it all in.

As the song came to an end and Lorelai knew they should return to their table to order dinner, she could not help but cling to him a moment longer. She gently pressed her lips to his before whispering in his ear, "I love you so much, Luke."

* * *

They spent the rest of the evening eating and dancing, with Lorelai showing off her fabulous new dress, much to Luke's appreciation. Despite the fancy food and the swanky atmosphere, Luke enjoyed the evening tremendously and even suggested making it a semi-regular thing. She agreed, although she reiterated the desire to do something with Luke that he liked to do.

"I like being with you," he said simply. "But if it'll make you happy, we can join a co-ed softball team. Or a bowling league. How does that sound?"

"Very romantic," she purred. "Who knew you were such a softie?"

"I try not to let it show," he admitted jokingly. "Don't want to ruin my reputation as the grumpy diner owner."

"Your secret is safe with me," Lorelai said, her eyes twinkling with humor. Seeing that their conversation had tapered off, she quietly excused herself for a minute and went in search of the ladies' room at the back of the restaurant.

While she was gone, Luke paid the bill and watched as the remaining couples glided onto and off of the dance floor. As much as he hated wearing a suit and being around affluent people, he loved dancing with Lorelai. It was something his mother had taught him before she passed away, probably in preparation for some small-town dance when he was young. Ultimately, the experience had served him well, making him more confident when it came to such events in high school. Of course, after graduation his skills got very little practice as dancing was not really Rachel's thing and he avoided town events that required such active participation.

There was of course the Dance Marathon, which Luke had sworn long ago that he would never participate in. Maybe if it was for something important, he had rationalized, like curing cancer or training seeing eye dogs for the blind. But even then, he doubted that he would feel comfortable dancing for that period of time in front of so many people he actually knew.

Before long, Luke realized that Lorelai had been gone for over twenty minutes. And while she generally took a while to get ready, she had never spent more than ten minutes using the facilities (or whatever mysterious thing women did in there) on one of their dates.

Having no particular desire to try and find her in the women's restroom, he waited a few more minutes for her to return. But when even his waiter started to give him a pitying look, like he had been abandoned by his date, Luke got up and made his way to the back of the restaurant. Once there, he was confronted with the dilemma of how exactly to check on her if she was, indeed, still in the women's restroom. Rubbing his jaw in thought, he debated he embarrassment caused by committing such a faux pas as to enter that restricted domain as compared with his ever increasing worry over Lorelai's absence.

Fortunately, his salvation presented itself in the form of a young girl, about nine or ten years old, who was heading into that very same women's bathroom.

"Excuse me," he addressed her, hoping he was not coming off as some sort of creepy old man hanging around outside the restrooms. "I think my wife's in the bathroom here, and I was wondering if you could maybe... check and tell me if she's in there? Just if you happen to see her..."

The girl stared at him with big brown eyes for a second before shrugging her shoulders indifferently. "Okay."

"Great, great... well, lets see... she's tall, a little shorter than me, although she's wearing heals tonight, which make her taller. Black heals, in case you see them under the stalls. And a long black dress. She's got brown hair, which is usually kind of wavy, but tonight she made it all curly-"

"What's her name?" the girl asked, interrupting him.

"Oh, uh... her name's Lorelai."

She nodded sagely, then pushed open the door to the restroom, letting it swing shut behind her before Luke could glimpse anything beyond. As he waited, he pushed his hands into his pockets and started to pace in front of the door, but before he had even turned around a second time, the girl had reappeared behind him.

"She's in there. It looks like she's been crying," she informed him.

"Uh... thanks," Luke said. "Did you tell her I'm out here?"

"Yeah, you can go inside."

Luke's eyebrows shot up, as he had never expected to receive permission to enter a women's restroom, especially not from a nine-year-old.

"Are you sure?" he asked, wondering if she realized the social breach of such an action.

"Yeah, its fine. She's right inside." And with that, the girl disappeared back inside the bathroom, leaving Luke to decide whether he really ought to be following her. However, another glance at his watch indicated that Lorelai had been missing for half an hour, and that knowledge was enough to make the decision for him.

Peeking his head through the door, he called out quietly, "Lorelai?"

Luke did not realize he had closed his eyes until he heard her voice coming from an area behind the door. "Luke? What are you doing here?"

Opening one eye, then the other, he realized that the so-called "women's restroom" was actually a nicely furnished, well-lit and carpeted powder room with a couch on one side and mirrors on the other. He spied a door on the opposite wall that he assumed led to the actual facilities. Sighing to himself in relief, he felt much better about entering the room as he quickly approached Lorelai, sitting on the couch.

Just as the girl had told him, Lorelai was crying, or had been very recently. Her mascara had run slightly and her eyes were puffy and red. She also held a wad of tissues in her hands.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" he asked gently as he sat down on the couch next to her.

Lorelai sniffled, then dabbed her eyes with the tissue before answering. "No, I'm fine. Sorry I just left you out there."

"You're not fine. Tell me what's going on," Luke insisted.

"Its nothing, really," she said, but the fresh wave of tears that began to stream down her cheeks contradicted her.

"Lorelai..." he began, reaching out to take one of her hands in his. But when she would not let go of the tissues to let him do so, he draped his arm around her shoulders in what he hoped was a gesture of comfort. "Please tell me," he pleaded.

"I'm not pregnant." Her words were barely above a whisper, and so thick with emotion that he almost did not hear her. A heavy moment of silence followed.

"Oh," Luke said, not certain how to respond. Had she suspected she was pregnant? Why hadn't she told him?

"I really thought I was," Lorelai continued on, her voice gaining volume as she spoke. "I didn't say anything because I was afraid I'd jinx it. I thought that if I got our hopes up, it wouldn't happen. But I've been having these fruit cravings for weeks. And even Rory thought I might be pregnant... Plus I was late." She paused to wipe at her eyes once again. "Not anymore."

"I wish you had told me," Luke said gently.

"I didn't want you to be disappointed if I wasn't pregnant," she confessed, focusing once again on her lap. "Which I'm not. So I guess that plan didn't work out too great either way, huh?"

"Lorelai, I'm not disappointed. We've only been trying for a few months. It'll happen eventually."

Still not looking up, she asked quietly, "What if it doesn't?"

"It will," he assured her. "We just need to give it time. But I don't want you to get upset about this. You've got too much going on right now, with the inn and the wedding. Maybe we should just put this on hold for a while?"

"No," Lorelai stated strongly, making eye contact to emphasize her point. "I want to keep trying."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"'Cause you're crying in a bathroom here, and that's not a good sign." There was concern reflected in his eyes, but it a pale shadow compared to the love she saw there.

"But its a very nice bathroom," Lorelai pointed out, forcing some humor into her voice.

"Jeez, I know! I'm beginning to understand why women spend so much time in here." He looked around the room again to emphasize his point. "There's a couch and everything."

"Luke?"

"Hmm?"

"You're in the women's bathroom," she said. He took the fact that she seemed to be restraining herself from making a joke as a good sign.

"Then can we get out of here before someone throws me out?" he implored gently.

"Yeah."

She allowed him to take her hand and pull her off the couch, then escort her out to the sidewalk where they waited for the valet to bring out his truck.

"Thanks for tonight, Luke," she said.

"Any time."

"But we're still joining that bowling league."

"You just want the new outfit." Lorelai only smiled in response.


	7. Fearing It

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 7: Fearing It**

"Oh, I like this one," Sookie cooed as she flipped through one of the many bridal magazines laid out on the table between she and Lorelai. It was late afternoon and relatively uncrowded at Luke's, allowing them to sit at their leisure.

"I don't know..." Lorelai said, looking at the dress her friend pointed at. "I think it'll make me look too heavy."

"Lorelai, pack on an extra twenty pounds and you still wouldn't look heavy," Sookie admonished her.

"I liked the one on page thirty-four."

"The one on page thirty-four is a bridesmaid's dress, not a wedding dress. You are not wearing pink at your wedding."

"That means you and Rory get to wear pink," Lorelai said, grinning in anticipation.

"Hey, whatever happened to the wedding dress you bought before?" she asked. "I thought that was the perfect dress."

Lorelai shrugged nonchalantly. Daring a glance across the diner, she saw that Luke was busy in the kitchen making hamburgers and well out of ear-shot.

"I just want a different dress. Don't get me wrong - its beautiful and I love it. But it doesn't feel right any more, not with everything that's happened."

Sookie nodded in understanding. "A new dress for a new wedding. Oh, have you decided where you want to have it?"

"Luke says he doesn't care, but I think he wants to have it in Star's Hollow somewhere. You know, close to home. Maybe in the square or at the inn or even at the church."

"Oh! If you do it at the inn, it will make the catering so much easier. And you could ride up on the horses! Or have them pull you in a sleigh!"

"You sound like my mother," Lorelai complained. "No horses, no sleighs. Besides, the forcasters are predicting a relatively warm winter. There may not even still be snow by February."

"Horses?" Luke asked as he approached them to refill their coffee cups.

"Only if you don't decide on a best man."

"I'll keep that in mind. What have you got here?" Leaning over between them, he looked at the myriad of bridal magazines strewn across the table. "I kinda like that one," he said, pointing at one of the dresses.

Both women looked at the picture he indicated and simultaneously made faces of disgust.

"Really?" Lorelai asked in disbelief.

"Yeah."

"But its got... ruffles," she pointed out.

"Big ruffles," Sookie added.

"And a hoop skirt."

"Is that a bonnet?"

"Its white... and it does the thing in the back... with the stuff... and the fabric looks..." Luke tried to defend his choice, but noticing their extreme dislike of the dress, he gave up. "Never mind, wear what you want."

"I love that you tried," Lorelai told him. "Hey, are we still on for dinner tomorrow night with April?"

"Yeah, but she said something about a school project that's due on Monday, so she can't spend the night." Over the intervening months since their secret elopement, April had taken to spending more and more evenings at their home until eventually she asked if she could simply stay for an entire weekend. After some convincing, Anna agreed to the arrangement and April happily moved into Rory's room until her mother picked her up the following Sunday.

Since then, every few weekends April would go to visit her father and Lorelai, and the three of them would stay up watching movies and eating a mixture of junk food and vegetables. Much to Lorelai's surprise and delight, April was just as adept at mocking movies as Rory had been at her age, and the two got along very well debating the finer points of the new _Superman _movie versus Christopher Reeve's rendition.

"That's okay. Maybe next week we can do the weekend thing."

"Yeah," Luke agreed absently. "Hey, I gotta go finish these orders..."

"Go, go, we're still talking dresses, which is clearly a subject you can't be trusted to weigh in on." Lorelai smiled at him as he walked away, then glanced over at Sookie, who was enthralled in another magazine. "Hey, can I ask you a personal question?"

Her best friend looked up, her attention caught by the seriousness in Lorelai's voice. "Sure, what's up?"

"When you and Jackson decided to have kids... how long did it take before you got pregnant?"

"Wow, I don't know. A few months, I guess? I can't really remember. Why?" Suddenly, Sookie's eyes went wide with excitement. "Oh my God, you're trying for a baby!"

Lorelai quickly put one finger to her mouth to try and head off any squeals from her delighted friend, and she followed the gesture by saying, "Shh, don't tell anyone! The last thing we need is a lecture from Taylor."

"Or pointers from Miss Patty?" Sookie teased.

"Or a demonstration Kirk," Lorelai threw in.

"My lips are sealed," her friend promised.

"I'm just kind of worried..." she confessed. "I mean, its been a few months, and... I don't know. With Rory it just happened out of the blue. It seemed so sudden, but I guess it wasn't really. I don't know, Sookie, I'm just afraid that now that I'm finally ready – now that _we're _finally ready – I'm afraid it won't happen."

"Have you talked to Luke about this?"

"Yeah, he said it'll happen, and he doesn't want me stressing over it."

"Well, he's got a point there," Sookie said. "You really don't need to be worrying about this right now. Lorelai, you're getting married! Focus on that. And whatever happens, happens."

"Yeah, you're right. You're both right," Lorelai said, attempting a smile to placate her friend.

"Now we have to make a very important decision here." Sookie held up two pictures from different magazines. "Veil or no veil?"

* * *

Luke left to pick up April for dinner at 5:45 pm. Glancing at her watch, Lorelai noted that 6:45 had come and gone and 7:00 was rapidly approaching. The drive to and from Woodbury never took that long, not even factoring in traffic. A growing concern was making its way through Lorelai's mind and into her body as she sat with one hand on the phone, pretending to watch television.

She supposed that part of her worry stemmed from the circumstances of April's accident. She tried to calm herself with the knowledge that Luke was a safe and careful driver, but she also knew that not everyone on the road was quite as considerate. Even in the quiet towns of Connecticut, car crashes happened every day.

Lorelai had almost convinced herself to dial Luke's cell when her phone rang. The noise momentarily startled her, but she quickly grabbed it and put it to her ear.

"Luke?"

"Hey, Lorelai, sorry I'm late," came Luke's voice, and she breathed a silent sigh of relief. "I kind of got stuck here at Anna's store helping her out with something..." He continued on with a story involving some sort of broken water main, a flooded storeroom, and a rather hysterical Anna upset over so much of her merchandise being ruined by water. "So, there's no way April's going to be able to come to dinner tonight. And I probably won't be back until late," he informed her.

"Oh, well that's okay. We can do it another time. I'm glad that you called," Lorelai told him before they said their goodbyes and hung up.

And yet , as she turned her attention back to the television, a worry of a different kind began to make its way through Lorelai. It was an irrational concern, certainly, and one born of the green-eyed monster. But somehow the knowledge that Luke was assisting the mother of his child touched a nerve inside of her even as she flashed back to all the many times Luke did things around the house for her before they had started dating. Even when he was still with Rachel.

Pushing that nagging voice in her head into a dark corner, she resolutely flipped the channel on the television to a movie she had seen before and lost herself in the familiar dialogue.

* * *

A week later, Lorelai still could not get over her growing jealousy of Anna, not the least of which reason being that Luke had been at her store every other day since the pipe bursting incident to fix something else with her plumbing. If the whole situation did not bother her so much, she would have added a mental, "Dirty!"

To make matters worse, their schedules had evened out to the point that they no longer took their mid-afternoon breaks above the diner any more. Although she had no desire to admit it, Lorelai knew that sometime in the four months since their June 3rd wedding, they had transitioned from newly weds into just a plain old married couple. Which was not to say that she did not enjoy being married, even if no one else in town knew about it.

"Are you going to cover the desk for me today or do I have to let the phone juzt ring and ring?" Michel asked as he stuck his head into her office. Lorelai looked up, startled by the sudden intrusion.

"What?" she asked, confused.

"You _said _zat you would answer the phone while I take Pow-Pow and Chin-Chin to the vet," he pouted. "Their little noses are dry, and I think they have a temperature." The obvious worry in his eyes kept Lorelai from cracking any jokes at his expense. Besides, Lorelai knew how attached she was to Paul Anka, and how worried she had been when he was sick.

"I'm sorry, Michel, I must have forgotten. You go ahead and I'll cover the phone."

"And zer is mail to go through," he added.

"I'll take care of it. You take care of Pow-Pow and Chin-Chin," she advised him.

Twenty minutes later, Lorelai found herself at the front desk, checking in guests and taking reservations, and sorting through the variety of advertisements and bills the inn inevitably received every day.

"Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking. How may I help you?" she said into the phone as she ripped open the bill from the natural gas company. She winced as she saw how energy prices had taken another leap and wondered if they would have to increase their own costs to keep pace. Simultaneously, she listened as the individual on the phone asked about the availability of an upcoming date.

"Let me check on that, ma'am... yes, we still have openings for December 17th, but I'm not sure I can guarantee you room number three... Where your daughter was conceived, really...? Well, I'm sure that your husband would be just as comfortable in one of our other... And Mrs. Pulaski's baby...? You are aware this is an Inn and not a fertility clinic, right...? Well, I will see what I can do about making sure you get in room number three... No, I don't think I can re-name it 'Magic Room Number 3,' but what about Third Time's the Charm Number 3? Ma'am?"

Lorelai hung up the phone and muttered to herself, "Crazy people."

She ripped open another envelope, one without a return address that had her name on it. Shrugging her shoulders slightly, she slipped out the single sheet of paper and was about to begin scanning it when someone's shout of alarm immediately gained her undivided attention.

"Someone call an ambulance!" a man called out frantically. "My wife's going into labor!"

And indeed, the young blonde woman he was helping down the stairs looked about nine and a half months pregnant. As well, she wore the tell-tale expression of a person in the kind of immediate physical agony that Lorelai recognized from her own experience over two decades before.

"No, it'll take them twice as long to get here," she advised. Waving over one of the kitchen staff she knew to be cool under pressure, she handed him the keys to her car. "This is David," she introduced. "If you're comfortable with it, he'll drive you to the hospital right now. Is that okay?" Lorelai was faintly cognizant of the liability issues involved in not only allowing someone else to drive her car, but a hysterical pregnant guest of her inn. But most of those fears flew out the window as the young woman screamed in pain, obviously caught in the throws of a contraction.

The husband made no protest to her plan and David quickly escorted them out to her waiting Jeep. Lorelai, for her part, called the hospital so that they would be expecting the trio and would have any necessary staff on hand. Looking down at the registry, she noted that the young couple was from New York and they were staying in room number three.

That strange coincidence would have done more to stir her imagination if she had not immediately noticed the abandoned piece of paper lying on the desk. It was hand-written in a bold, familiar script, the words bunched together as though written in haste. But the part that most drew her notice was the signature line: _Love always, Christopher_

She read through the letter only once, then stuffed it back into the envelope when she was finished. Her first inclination was to be angry that he would contact her when she had specifically told him not to do so. But beyond that, she felt guilty. It was an ugly emotion that she had begun to think was metaphysically tied to the man. Ever since _that night_, the mere thought of him brought a sinking sensation to her stomach and made the back of her neck burn uncomfortably. He was a reminder of something she desperately wanted to forget, to move past. And she thought she _had _moved past it.

She and Luke had been doing so well, since even before their wedding at Martha's Vineyard. They had weathered the storm and come through it even stronger than before. Lorelai was establishing a relationship with her step-daughter, she was planning a wedding. And most importantly, they were trying for a baby. She did not want anything to threaten that, especially not the one man who could well and truly cause problems for her and Luke.

The letter itself had been simple and sweet – a written apology, for everything that had transpired. A plea to maintain the friendship they had shared for over three decades. Even a reference to Rory, the living manifestation of a bond that could never be severed. Absent from the letter were the declarations of love that Lorelai had already rejected, as were any references to Luke. It was the kind of letter that anyone reading would have to go to great lengths to find fault with. Perfectly respectful, reserved, and apologetic.

It still made Lorelai extremely nervous.


	8. Seeing It

**A/N: **I just wanted to give a big "Thank You!" to everyone who's been reading this story, and especially to those who have been leaving reviews. Ya'll are the best, and I look forward to seeing your comments after each chapter that I post.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 8: Seeing It**

In the interest of full disclosure, Lorelai showed Christopher's letter to Luke later that night. There was a tense moment as he read through it then quietly disposed of it in the kitchen garbage can. But not a word was spoken on the matter and within an hour all thoughts of it were forgotten as Lorelai lay curled up on the couch, her head in Luke's lap, as they watched reruns of _I Love Lucy_.

"I think you would have made a good Ricky Ricardo," she told him sleepily.

He snorted in amusement. "You really see me as a Cuban singer in a band?"

Lorelai considered this for a moment. "I dunno..." she said thoughtfully. "I'd have to hear you say, 'Luuuuuucy, I'm hooooooome!'"

"No chance."

"Aw, come on, Luke."

"Jeez..."

Lorelai sat up so that she could better look in his eyes. She was always more persuasive when she could give him that pleading look.

"Just one time," she promised.

"Lorelai..."

She shifted gears into flirtatious badgering. "Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Not this again," he grumbled, but she could tell his resistance was cracking.

"Just say..."

The phone rang, just as Luke opened his mouth to comply. Lorelai shot it a death glare, as though it had just interrupted her concentration during intricate brain surgery.

"You should answer that," Luke said hopefully. "It might be important."

"This isn't over," she declared, holding up her index finger to demonstrate her level of seriousness. Walking backward toward the phone, she kept her eyes on his, as if to prove that he was not getting off the hook. "Hello?" she said, picking it up.

"Lorelai, its Chris-"

"Not interested," she declared, then cut the connection. Sliding the cordless phone back onto the base, she returned to the couch and desperately wished that he would not call back.

"Telemarketer?" Luke asked.

Not wanting to kill the relaxed mood they had going on, she simply joked, "I am so signing us up for that 'Do Not Call' list first thing tomorrow."

Climbing back onto the couch next to her husband, she quickly returned the conversation to _I Love Lucy _banter, complete with a point by point comparison of why exactly Sookie and Jackson were the perfect equivalent of their Fred and Ethel Mertz.

That night, after they retired to bed, Lorelai quietly snuck downstairs and called the phone company to block Christopher's telephone number.

* * *

Over the following weeks, Lorelai heard nothing from Christopher, and she began to relax slightly. However, a phone conversation with Rory brought the issue to the forefront of her mind once again. 

"So Logan's going to be back for Thanksgiving, and then I think I'm going to fly out there for Christmas," Rory said.

"That sounds like fun," Lorelai noted, although she did not relish the idea of losing her daughter for any period of time.

"Oh, I can't wait to see Europe during the holidays. We've only ever been there during the summer, but I'm sure the winter decorations are beautiful."

Rory went on for some time about London and Logan and her fall classes at Yale. They even discussed the upcoming wedding and Lorelai's difficulty in keeping the Martha's Vineyard elopement a secret whenever townies needled her about their February nuptials.

Finally, during a lull in the conversation, Rory interjected, "So, have you heard from Dad lately?"

Lorelai paused, not sure how to respond. She had not told her daughter about the phone call or the letter or even the late-night visit to the Dragonfly. It had taken Rory a lot to get past her father's involvement in the near-break up with Luke, and she did not want to jeopardize that. However, she also wondered if Christopher had mentioned his own intentions to Rory .

"He's been trying to get in touch with me," Lorelai answered truthfully, "But I still don't want any contact. Why, has he said anything to you?"

"Just that he's worried about you. He won't tell me why, only that he wants to make sure you're okay and that you won't talk to him. I asked him what he expected, after he acted the way he did. I don't know, he just seemed really concerned about you. And I just wanted to see if he'd talked to you or something."

"Well, he's certainly been trying," she admitted, "and its starting to make me nervous."

"I'll call him," Rory promised. "And I'll tell him to leave you alone. I really just think that he's worried about you, Mom."

"Well, he doesn't need to be, because I'm fine," Lorelai said sharply.

"Okay, if you're sure..."

Thankfully conversation took a different turn after that and Lorelai was able to distract her daughter with a second recounting of the Great Pregnant Couple Crisis of '06 - prompting several bad attempts at "I don't know nothin' about birthin' no babies!" - as well as the growing myth that room number three of the Dragonfly Inn had mystical powers of conception.

Since the first phone call, Lorelai had gotten three more reservations requesting that particular room. Two had flat-out said _why _they wanted it, referencing the Pulaski baby as if the kid was scientific proof. One sounded distinctly uncomfortable with the whole notion but insisted on that room anyway. As well, one man calling to make reservations had specifically asked _not _to be put in room number three, saying that he was not yet "ready for that level of commitment."

"These people are insane," Lorelai complained to her daughter.

"So when are you testing out the magical baby-making powers of room number three?" Rory asked in amusement, but knowing how much her mother wanted to get pregnant.

She could almost hear the glee in Lorelai's voice. "As _soon _as Luke feels better."

"Oh, poor thing. What's wrong with him?"

"He's just got the flu that's been going around. The doctor says he'll be fine in a couple of days."

"Ironic that as healthy as he eats, he's the one who gets sick."

"And real-ironic, not that 'bad luck' Alanis Morissette-ironic," Lorelai agreed.

"Call me later?"

"You bet."

* * *

"Honey, I brought you some soup," Lorelai said as she brought the tray into their bedroom and set it on the edge of the bed. Luke had managed to contort his body such that the sheets were twisted awkwardly around his legs and waist. She thought she heard him moan something in response to her declaration, but it merely sounded like an unintelligible acknowledgment of her presence. 

"You haven't eaten anything all day, Luke," she admonished him.

"...throw it up," he managed weakly.

"Well, you need to get something in your stomach if you want to keep your strength up." Lorelai began to collect the pillows that had fallen off the bed and pile them near the headboard so that she could prop Luke up enough to eat. He helped reposition himself but then merely blinked at her with glazed eyes. "I made soup," she said again.

"...kill me..."

She rolled her eyes at his comment. "It will not kill you. I may not be 'Hamburger Emeril in Flannel' here but even I have a hard time screwing up Campbell's." Luke moaned a response that she doubted even he understood. "Come on, open up."

After a bit more encouragement and cajoling, Lorelai managed to get him to eat most of the soup she had brought him, as well as some dry toast. He fell asleep immediately after, exhausted from the effort.

She laid the back of her hand against his forehead and noted that although he still felt warm, his fever appeared to be dropping. As much teasing as she had received about her Florence Nightingale skills, she had plenty of experience with illnesses and ailments, having raised a daughter all on her own. Luke, however, not only hated being sick but hated being in a position of being waited on by anyone, especially Lorelai.

At first, when his flu-like symptoms started to present themselves, he had tried to quarantine himself in his apartment above the diner, not wanting to get Lorelai sick as well. But once the full force of it hit him and his resistance was significantly lowered, she managed to install him in their bedroom where she could more easily watch him and get him anything he needed.

She gently brushed a stray hair back from his face, careful not to disturb his sleep. He looked so peaceful with his eyes closed and face relaxed in rest. And even with the pale skin and baggy eyes of a person suffering from the flu, he was beautiful. To her, Luke had always been handsome, from the first day they met. His searing blue eyes and chiseled features, combined with his mountain man attire and generally grumpy attitude, had immediately forced her to redefine the 'ideal man' profile she had developed as a teenager. And since then, every year he just seemed more and more beautiful, more sexy. More everything.

Quietly picking up the soup bowl and tray, Lorelai made her way downstairs to the kitchen. Paul Anka followed her with an air of hopefulness in his step, and noting that he had finished his dinner, she allowed him to have a dog treat. His pitiful expression of fake doggy hunger had almost convincing her to part with one or two more when the phone rang.

"Hello?" she said cautiously.

"Hi Lorelai. It's April."

"Hi April! How are you? I haven't seen you in a while," Lorelai said, genuinely happy to hear the teenager's voice. She had not seen Luke's daughter since before the dinner that was canceled on account of broken water pipes.

"I'm good. Actually, I'm calling because I need your help," she said matter-of-factly.

This surprised her tremendously. "My help? Sure, what can I do for you?"

"See, I have this project for school. We're reading _The Great Gatsby _by F. Scott Fitsgerald, and everyone is assigned to research some aspect of life in the 1920's," April explained. "Politics, literature, music, art, economics..."

"I'm following," Lorelai said.

"Well, I was assigned to do fashion." She could hear the disgust in the girl's voice. "And I tried to trade with Trisha Birdman for economics, but my teacher wouldn't let me. Something about branching out into different areas that you wouldn't normally be interested in. So I'm stuck with doing this project on clothing. Not only do I have to write a paper, but we're suppose to bring in a visual aid."

"Well April, I don't know much about 1920's fashion, but I'd be glad to help with a costume if you can show me some pictures of what you have in mind," Lorelai offered.

"Really? That would be so great!"

"Sure, no problem. Do you want to come over tomorrow sometime?"

"Sure! Can I call you in the morning?"

"Absolute," Lorelai told her. "Just make sure your mom knows and we'll work something out."

"Thanks! And tell my dad 'hello.'"

Hanging up the phone, Lorelai excitedly began going through her crafts bins, anxious to be able to spend some quality time with just her and her step-daughter.

* * *

"So in conclusion, 'flappers' were actually very much like early feminists – women in the work force with enough self confidence to break tradition and live life on their own terms," April read aloud from the paper she had completed. 

Lorelai took a break from pinning the girl's dress to clap enthusiastically at the finish. She had April standing on top of a chair in the kitchen while she prepared to hem the fabric, while at the same time adding a few rows of fringe to give it a more "twenties" feel. As well, she had found a peacock feather that she planned to sew into the brim of a matching hat that would complete the outfit.

"That sounds like an 'A+' paper to me," she complimented. "Lots of information, but just the right blend of style and elegance. Not unlike your dress. Hop down and let me see how it looks."

April did as asked, twirling around to show off the yards of extra fringe to its greatest advantage.

"Its perfect, Lorelai! Thank you so much." She instinctively reached out to give her step-mother a hug, mindful of the pins still encircling the hem. Lorelai was overwhelmingly touched by the gesture and had to blink rapidly to fight off the moisture that threatened to flood her eyes.

"Well, I'm glad you like it," she said with a smile. "Now go take it off so I can finish the hem while I go check on your dad."

"He's still feeling pretty bad, huh?"

"Yeah, that flu has really knocked him out. I know he would have wanted to see you today," Lorelai said.

"Oh, that's okay. He's been over at our house a lot lately. And at the store, helping my mom with stuff," April informed her.

"Yeah, I know." Lorelai tried to keep her voice neutral, but was not entirely successful. She could not get the picture of Luke fixing her porch rail out of her head, especially as it was so inextricably tied to the image of Rachel's face looking lost and lonely as she asked about her then-boyfriend's whereabouts.

Realizing that she may have inadvertently stepped into risky territory, April quickly changed the subject. "I can't wait for the wedding. Well, the second wedding, seeing as how I was already at your first wedding. I think its really cool that you and Luke are having two weddings – one just for you two and one for everyone else."

This caused Lorelai to smile, as she often did at the mention of either of the weddings. "Yeah, so do I."

"And no one has found out about the beach wedding yet?"

She shook her head. "Nope. No one has a clue. I think the fact that we're getting married in February – again, but they don't know that - has kept most of the suspicions down."

"Do you think you and Luke will have more kids after you get married?" April asked, not noticing how completely her question brought Lorelai's good mood to a screeching halt.

"Um..." She had trouble looking into her step-daughter's face, so she glanced at down at her basket of craft supplies. "I think that's a definite possibility."

"I think it would be cool to have a little sister or brother," April declared. "Almost everyone at school has one or the other, although there are a lot of people with step-brothers and sisters. Although, I suppose Rory's technically my step-sister..." She stopped as though considering that. "I hadn't really thought about that."

"Well, Luke and I haven't been married that long," Lorelai pointed out. "It probably still seems a little weird, especially since you haven't even known Luke that long."

"Yeah, I suppose. But still, its cool to have a sister, even if she is a step-sister. I think my mom always wanted to have more kids, but she never found the right guy."

"Yeah?" Lorelai choked out. The statement about Anna's desire for further progeny had unwittingly thrown her. She found her hands shaking slightly and her heart rate elevating at the mere thought. As much as she trusted Luke, her mind continued to replay that long-ago conversation with Rachel over and over again, like a record stuck on repeat.

"_Hey, have you seen Luke around?" the other woman had asked, knowing full well where Luke had been spending his free time. _

"_Oh, he's probably at the diner." _

"_Nope, he's supposed to be at the diner, but he's not." _

"_Oh... well..." _

"_We were supposed to meet for lunch, but he didn't show... He usually comes back upstairs for a break between lunch and dinner, but recently he's been other places. Uh, your place actually." _

_It was an observation, not an accusation. As jealous as Lorelai had been of Rachel in the beginning, her friendliness had made it impossible to hate her. Just as the sound of sadness in her voice had made it impossible not to pity her. _

"_Oh, yeah, well, Rachel, he's just fixing some things." _

"_Look if you see him can you tell him to just, I don't know, check in." _

_Rachel's desperation had been quiet, like the personification of a dream dying by inches. She had obviously known then that Luke's heart was not in the relationship, and probably had not been since her return. _

As April went to change out of the dress, Lorelai could not help but face the nagging suspicion that she had become that woman in the street, who knew her chance at happiness was fading away right before her eyes but could do nothing about it.

* * *

Early the next morning, before heading in to work, Lorelai pulled out the phone book and dialed one of the numbers listed under _Clinics - Fertility_. 

"Hello? Yes, this is Lorelai Gilmore. I'd like to schedule an appointment to come in and speak with a doctor...? Well, I'm thirty-eight years old, about to turn thirty-nine, and I'm trying to get pregnant... Tuesday at ten? Yeah, that would be great..."


	9. Wanting It

**Chapter 9: Wanting It**

A week later, Luke had recovered from his bout with the flu, April had both presented her "Roaring Twenties" project and received an "A" on it, and in between running the inn and planning for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, Lorelai was anxiously awaiting a phone call from Dr. Johnson, a fertility specialist in Hartford.

He had been able to tell her little during her initial visit except what she already knew: the likelihood of getting pregnant decreased rapidly after the age of thirty-five. Correspondingly, the possibility of miscarriages and birth defects increased. The fact that Lorelai had already given birth to a child was definitely in her favor; however, because her pregnancy with Rory had been so long ago, it was not necessarily an accurate indicator of her current fertility.

After talking with her for half an hour about not only the probabilities and possibilities, but also the "do's and don't's" for getting pregnant, Dr. Johnson had scheduled Lorelai for some tests and said he would call her once he got the results back. The tests themselves were uncomfortable and embarrassing, and Lorelai could not help wishing that she had told Luke about the appointment with the doctor. She desperately wanted him to hold her hand and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

But she had not told him – not about the appointment, not about the tests, and certainly not about the pamphlet the doctor had given her on fertility treatment options should the tests come back with undesirable results.

She was not sure why exactly she failed to tell Luke. Perhaps it was his certainty that she would get pregnant eventually. Perhaps it was his growing excitement over the prospect of having a baby. And perhaps it was the growing fear that gnawed at Lorelai's stomach, causing her to doubt not only the man she loved, but the life they had managed to start together. What would he say if they could not have children? He would be disappointed, certainly, but would he blame her? No, he would never _blame _her for such a thing. At least not out loud, not to her face. Perhaps not even consciously. But deep down, in the hidden recesses of the strange and unknowable place that was Luke's mind, would he fault her for the age-old indiscretion of failing to give him children?

Her fears were completely irrational. Lorelai knew this, acknowledged it, and reminded herself of that fact multiple times a day. And yet, she continued to wait for Dr. Johnson's call with trepidation, and she continued to re-read the pamphlet, wondering exactly how much it would cost to have in vitro fertilization and if Luke would ever consider such a thing.

* * *

"Hey big brother!" Liz exclaimed as she entered the diner late in the morning. There were only a few people still there, contently sipping their coffee rather than out confronting the chill autumn day.

Liz and TJ had been gone for three months on the latest renaissance circuit, making her appearance a surprise in two ways, the second of which being that she was also very pregnant. And while she had already told him about the baby, the full realization that Luke was going to become an uncle once again hit him full-force when he saw her.

"Liz!" he said, abandoning his usual place at the counter to give her a welcoming hug. "You look great," he told her with a smile.

"I look huge," she contradicted, her hand automatically going to her stomach. She joked, "But hey, at least its an excuse to eat whatever you want for nine months."

Luke immediately escorted her to one of the nearby tables. "Here, sit down, sit down. Tell me how you've been."

"I'm good," Liz told him. "Really good. I haven't had a drink or a smoke in seven months, but I'm good."

"The baby's good?" Luke asked.

Her face softened at his mention of the baby. "Yeah, the baby's good," she said. "TJ has been taking care of both of us."

"How much longer, you think?" he asked.

"Well, the doctor says another eight weeks or so, but I think it may be sooner than that. Jess was early, so this little one may be early too."

"Are you excited? Scared?"

"You know, I think we're going to do okay," Liz said, and the confidence in her voice was reassuring. "Jess sent us a bunch of books, and TJ's been watching that baby show on The Learning Channel."

"You have done this before," Luke pointed out.

"Yeah, but this time's going to be different. With Jess I was so young, I didn't know what I was doing. With this little one, I want to make sure she has everything Jess didn't. I have a job, I have a house, I have a husband – everything I didn't have when he was growing up. But still, he turned out pretty good, thanks to you."

"Jess is a good kid. He just needed to find his own way. So...she?" Luke caught the pronoun. "Its a girl?"

Liz smiled and shrugged. "I think so. At least that's what my friend Bethany told me when she read my cards."

"Ah," he said, knowing not to rush out and buy pink baby furniture just yet. "That's really great, Liz. I'm proud of you."

His sister's eyes went wide at the comment, then they immediately filled with tears. Before he even understood what was happening, she had begun crying uncontrollably, drawing the attention of several people nearby. Luke was terrified.

"Liz? What's the matter? Are you okay?"

Pulling a tissue from her purse to wipe at her eyes, Liz held up a hand in a calming gesture. "Just hormones," she said, when she was able to find her voice again. "That was such a sweet thing to say, Luke."

It took him a moment to realize what he had said to set off the waterworks display, but once he realized, he glanced away in embarrassment. Expressing himself in words had never been his strong suit.

"Hormones... I suppose that's something I'll going to have to get used to," he said, mostly to himself. But the statement caught Liz's attention. Her expression morphed from confusion to suspicion to outright joy within the space of a few seconds.

"Luke! Is Lorelai...?"

"We're trying," he said firmly and quietly, so that no one else in the diner would hear the pronouncement. The last thing he needed was for Taylor to put it up on a billboard or for Miss Patty to get wind of the news.

"Oh, that's so great!" Liz exclaimed, her earlier tears completely forgotten. "You are going to be the best dad. Wait, what am I saying? You already are. How is April?"

"She's really good..."

They spent the next half hour catching up, exchanging news and stories about April, Jess, TJ, and Lorelai, as well as all the latest happenings in Star's Hollow and the Renaissance Faire circuit. By the time the lunch crowd began to pick up, Luke felt reasonably certain that he was now abreast of everything happening in his sister's life. He also found himself growing more and more excited about the prospect of being an uncle again. His contact with Jess as a child had been minimal due to a combination of his own inexperience with (and thus distaste for) kids and their resulting dislike of him. The notion of "jam hands" had not materialized out of no where.

"Hey, I don't know what you're planning for Thanksgiving, but Lorelai's doing a big thing at the Dragonfly again..." he began as she stood to leave.

"Count us in!" Liz told him, all previous notions of a Martha Stewart-inspired holiday forgotten. "Oh, can you make sure she has those little wraps with the meat in them..."

"I'll put in a request to Sookie," Luke assured her as she left, attempting to hide his disgust at the mention of the chef's less than successful foray into culinary experimentation with her boysenberry beef rolls. As much respect as he had for Sookie's cooking, only a pregnant woman suffering the most cliched cravings could stomach that concoction. Luke briefly wondered if Lorelai would become even more enamored with junk food when she got pregnant or if her body would do a complete about-face and demand leafy greens and whole grains. Either way, he looked forward to finding out.

* * *

"I do not know what she iz cooking, but our chef iz very good," Michel said into the phone, his monotone voice belaying the sincerity of his words. "We have never had any complaints." He listened half-heartedly for a time as the person calling continued to speak, but after a few moments, it was clear that Michel had lost all patience. "Look, this iz an inn. We serve food. If you want to eat it, do so. If not, upon arrival we will give you a bow and arrow and you may hunt for your own dinner. Goodbye." He hung up the phone abruptly.

Hearing the last bit of the conversation, Lorelai stopped in mid-stride through the lobby. "Michel, you can't just be rude to the guests like that!" she exclaimed.

As it tended to do, Michel's accent became more pronounced as he sputtered, "Why not? They are rude to me. They want to know if Sookie iz serving oysters with her dinner or if the stuffing will have oysters. These people are obsessed with oysters! What do we look like, Red Lobster? This iz an inn, not a seafood shack."

"Michel, Sookie provided you with a menu for Thanksgiving," Lorelai said, pointing to the paper by the computer.

Rolling his eyes, the Frenchman picked it up and pointed to the numerous scratch-outs, re-writes, and re-scratch-outs. "This?" he demanded. "This iz the Thanksgiving menu from yesterday. She has not provided me an updated one for today."

"Then what's that?" Lorelai asked, pointing to another sheet of paper.

Michel picked up the paper and held it carefully at the edge between two fingers, his face a picture of disgust. "This iz the waiting leest for room three."

"We have a waiting list?" Lorelai demanded. "I thought that room was booked solid through next April."

As much as it amazed her that people were so gullible as to believe myths regarding the magical fertility powers of a room, she found it even more incredible that the rumors of the Dragonfly Inn's room number three had spread like wildfire – faster even than Miss Patty could disseminate important news and gossip. But if nothing else, Lorelai was a businesswoman, and if people wanted to pay money and wait longer for a room that was virtually identical to every other room in the building, that was fine with her.

"It is the standby leest in case we have any cancellations," Michel informed her. His initial amusement with the whole notion had obviously faded into a deep and abiding hatred of anything to do with room three.

"These people are crazy," she mused to herself, although the irony of their desperation was not lost on her as she once again wondered when Dr. Johnson would call her.

"What do I tell you?" Michel said by way of agreement. But then something occurred to him, and his expression turned from sour and annoyed to genuinely excited and happy. "Oh, guess what! I took Chin-Chin to the vet yesterday for her check up and because she has been acting strangely. And the man there said that she is ready to have puppies! Izn't that wonderful?"

Lorelai just stared at him blankly for several long seconds before walking away, not sure why she suddenly had the urge to set the room on fire.

After talking to Michel, dealing with the endless problems and details at the inn, and waiting impatiently to hear back from the doctor regarding her test results, Lorelai decided that the thing she needed most was a healthy dose of good coffee and her husband, both of which, as luck would have it, could be found in the same place.

But when she entered the diner, Luke was no where to be seen. Instead Lane was busy taking orders and serving while Caesar manned the kitchen.

"Hey Lorelai!" her daughter's best friend greeted her warmly. "Coffee?" she asked.

"Please," she sighed as she slid onto one of the empty stools at the counter.

"So how are the wedding plans coming?" Lane asked brightly, as she usually did when she saw Lorelai.

"Oh, they're coming along. All the big things are in place, but we're still working on the details." Her voice was devoid of its excitement, and Lane noted that she seemed more subdued and weary than she had seen her in a long time. "I guess Luke's not around?"

"No," she confirmed. "Anna called and he said he had to run to Woodbury to take April to something..." Lane could not quite remember where Luke had said he was driving his daughter, but it did not matter much as Lorelai's attention to the details was lost immediately after the words 'Anna called.'

Everyone in town knew that Luke and Lorelai had gone through some rough times several months before, and while speculation had run rampant, the general consensus had settled on the combined issues of April, Anna, and Christopher Hayden. As Rory's best friend and Luke's employee, Lane had been privy to a few more details, including the exact day of their reconciliation. However, she noted that the woman sitting before her was not the cheery, hyperactive person she had been since then. Lorelai clearly had something weighing on her mind, and whatever it was had her so upset that she had forsaken real coffee.

"Well, just let him know I stopped by," Lorelai said, leaving her cup almost untouched.

Hoping to give her some comfort, Lane ventured, "He'll probably be back in an hour or so..."

"Lorelai!"

Both turned to see Luke's sister enter the diner, a plastic bag in hand. Having been assailed all day by reminders of pregnancy and babies, Liz's obviously pregnant state felt like one more slap in the face to Lorelai. But she smiled warmly, genuinely happy to see her sister-in-law after so many months.

"Liz, how are you?" she asked, rising to embrace the other woman.

"I'm great! Pregnant, as you can see, although I suppose Luke told you about that?" Lorelai nodded a confirmation, and she continued on to say, "Its so good to see you! You look wonderful, but that's nothing new. You always look wonderful. Luke said you were doing good, with the inn and everything."

"Yeah, yeah, everything's great. So you already saw Luke today?"

"Oh, yeah, I came by earlier to let him know we were back in town. Hey, he invited us to Thanksgiving at the inn again. I hope that's okay?"

"No, that's great," Lorelai said. "Sookie's making lots of stuff. Not sure what exactly yet, but I can pretty much guarantee there's going to be turkey, so..."

"That's sounds so good, I can't even tell you," Liz said, her hand automatically going to her stomach. "Ever since I got pregnant I feel like I've been eating non-stop."

"Yeah, I was like that with Rory. Unfortunately, the feeling never really went away," Lorelai joked.

"Hey, Luke mentioned that you two were-" She glanced around and deliberately lowered her voice, "-trying." She made exaggerated quotes in the air as she mimicked Luke's gruff voice.

Lorelai forced a smile that did not reach her eyes. "Yeah, we are," she acknowledged softly.

"That's great. I'm so glad. You know, I always knew Luke would be a terrific dad, if he ever let himself want it. He always took care of me growing up, and even when I was an adult. Then with Jess and everything..." She trailed off, as both knew the end of that story. "He did his best, and I guess it turned out right in the end. And now with this girl, April." Liz sighed, and both women understood the sadness in her voice.

"Yeah, he's really doing well with her," Lorelai commented.

"But I bet he can't wait for you two to have a baby!" Liz squealed, almost forgetting to keep her voice low.

Lorelai forced herself to nod and smile and was about to excuse herself when Liz thrust the plastic bag she was holding out to her.

"Here, I brought this by for Luke, but its really for both of you. One of my old friends from high school gave it to me when she found out I was pregnant but before I knew it was a girl. And it seemed more Luke's taste than mine anyway."

"Well... thanks," Lorelai said as she opened the bag. But as she saw what was inside, she found herself seeking the comfortable support of the stool once again.

Baby clothes. More specifically, a tiny little baseball "uniform" with a matching baseball cap. The cap did not bear an insignia of any particular team, but it was the exact shade of blue as Luke's baseball cap.

"Thank you," she whispered again, desperately fighting the painful emotional reaction brought on by the baby clothes. "I know Luke will love it."

"Bye, Lorelai. See you at Thanksgiving," Liz said, giving her a quick hug before leaving.

Lane watched with concern as Lorelai sat for over ten minutes, just staring into the bag on her lap. And she probably would have kept on staring for another ten minutes if her cellular phone had not gone off, jarring her out of whatever trance she had fallen into.

"Hello?" she said, openly defying Luke's 'no cell phone in the diner' ban. "This is she... Yes... Is that the earliest I can come in? Cause I really need to talk to him before... Yes, okay... Next Wednesday would be fine... Three o'clock? I'll be there... Thank you." She shut the phone with a snap, and Lane almost swore she saw real fear in her eyes.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, just wedding stuff," Lorelai said distractedly. She dropped a few dollars on the counter before leaving, not realizing until she was back at the Dragonfly that she had not paid for coffee at Luke's in years.


	10. Losing It

**A/N**: This chapter is a little longer than usual because I combined two short chapters into one. I tried to be as realistic as possible with the medical stuff, but its not my expertise, so take it for what its worth. As well, for those of you who hate Christopher but have hung in anyway, this will be his last appearance in this story. As always, thanks for the reviews!

**Chapter 10: Losing It**

It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and Lorelai found herself sitting anxiously in the waiting room of Dr. Johnson's office, situated on the third floor of a popular medical building in Hartford. She had been there before, during the first consultation, and then back for the tests. But neither of those times had the room seemed so small to her, so confined and scary. She supposed that it was partially her imagination and partially that the room was empty of people, whereas on those other two days every chair had been filled.

Part of her was glad for the privacy, especially considering the subject of the visit: her test results. While Lorelai already knew the treatments and procedures that could be done if it turned out she did have fertility problems, today would show whether or not they would even be necessary.

She felt nervous, like she had sitting in the hospital waiting to hear news about April. Except this time, she was alone. Luke was not there to hold her hand or distract her with conversation. He was not there, but he should have been, would have been, if she had told him about the appointment. She felt the burden of the secret pressing down on her like a massive weight, and she knew that whatever the doctor told her today, she would have to tell Luke. He had a right to know, either way.

"Mrs. Gilmore?" a nurse called her from the doorway. "Right this way please..."

She was led down a short hallway to an exam room and left there to wait for the doctor. Lorelai briefly wondered why these conversations were always done in exam rooms, even when no exam was going to be performed. It just made her uncomfortable.

"Lorelai?" the doctor read off her file as he poked his head in the door several moments later. He flashed her a patented 'friendly-doctor' smile and shook her hand. "How are you doing today? All set for Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah," she managed.

"You're from Star's Hollow, as I recall?" he asked.

"Yes, I run the inn there. The Dragonfly."

"Beautiful town. My wife and I pass through there every once in a while when we go antiquing," the doctor commented, obviously trying to put her at ease and establish a rapport before diving right into the medical issues. "We'll have to stop by your inn next time we're there."

Lorelai only nodded numbly, not caring about Thanksgiving or antiquing or anything in Star's Hollow in the slightest at that moment.

"Lorelai, I had a chance to look at your test results," he said, finally getting down to business as he flipped open her file. "Now, as we already talked about, these are just preliminary. The tests show that your hormone levels are a tad low, probably because you're getting older and like many women your age, you're approaching menopause. As well, your fallopian tubes show evidence of some blockage, but I would have to confirm that with a special test." Noting the frightened look on her face, he said, "Lorelai, there isn't a lot I can tell you at this point. Treating infertility is a long and complicated process, and I'm not comfortable giving you any diagnoses right away. And I am certainly not performing any more tests on you until you bring in your husband and we're able to rule him out as a source of the problem, if indeed you have a problem."

"I already told you – he isn't the problem," Lorelai stated unequivocally. "He has a daughter."

"And so do you," he pointed out. "I'm still going to need him to come in for a consultation. Infertility is a couple's issue, not necessarily something that's wrong with you. The chances that the problem is with the man's body is just as likely as with the woman's body, and sometimes there are problems on both sides."

"Please, just tell me... what do you think my chances are of having kids right now?" she implored him, impatient to have some sort of answer after waiting for so long.

Doctor Johnson was silent for a moment as he considered her question. "Right now... without more information... based on the tests and your age, I would have to say that your chances of getting pregnant _right now _are low and will continue to get lower as you get older, unless you go the route of fertility treatments, whether it be hormones or in vitro fertilization. But then again, everything I've seen in your tests could be attributable to stress and your age. You could walk out of here today, go home, and make a baby. It really is too soon to tell."

Smiling kindly at her, he handed her a package. "This is a temperature chart and a thermometer. Every day, I want you to take your temperature before you get out of bed in the morning and then write it down on this graph. If your ovaries are working normally, your temperature should spike and that will be when you're ovulating. I want you to do this for a few months, then call the office and make an appointment for both you and your husband to come in. If nothing has changed, we can talk about your options then. Okay?"

Lorelai left the office in a daze, her mind reeling from all the information the doctor had given her. But the one thing he had not given her was a straight answer. Could she get pregnant? Was it possible? _Well, anything's possible, Lorelai_, she thought to herself sarcastically. _Its possible for a stork to step out of the elevator and hand you a baby. The question is, is it likely you can get pregnant?_

And the answer to that seemed to be _no_. When pushed, the doctor had admitted he thought her chances were 'low.' Not high, not fifty/fifty, not so-so, but _low_. Of course, he had couched it in qualifiers. Maybe this, could be that. More tests, more time. But didn't he just say that she was running out of time?

She got as far as the lobby on the first floor before she started to cry. She considered going into the bathroom for some privacy, but the thought of crying in the bathroom only reminded her of how sweetly Luke had held her and comforted her at the restaurant, which only made the tears come on stronger. Lowering herself to a bench, Lorelai hid her face in her hands as she let go of her composure. Deep, painful sobs wracked her body even as she struggled to keep her distress from drawing the attention of those passing by.

She had not truly realized how much she wanted another child - a child with Luke - until she had been faced with the possibility that it simply was not possible. Watching Rory grow up, she had always assumed she would have plenty of time to start another family, to have more children. But somehow time had slipped away from her. Rory was an adult, physically and emotionally ready to start a family of her own. And Lorelai was left with a wonderful, loving husband who she already knew was a great father. It just wasn't fair, after everything they had been through, everything they had worked for, to lose it, that "whole package."

Lorelai suddenly sensed that someone had sat down on the bench next to her. Her immediate reaction was to wish, desperately, that Luke had somehow followed her to Hartford and was ready to take her in his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. But it was not Luke.

"Christopher," she breathed his name like an inevitability rather than a surprise.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, sincerity evident in his voice.

"Just got some bad news," was her answer, and somehow, even in his presence, she could not stop the tears.

"What's wrong? Lorelai, tell me what I can do..." He put a hand on her shoulder, but she instinctively shrugged it off.

"What are you doing here, Chris?" she demanded, her sadness spilling over into anger. "Are you stalking me now, is that it?"

"No," he defended automatically. "I was walking by and I saw you sitting over here, and I thought I'd stop and see if you were okay. Which clearly, you're _not_."

"I'm fine," she insisted, but the lie was so blatant that the attempt was only half-hearted.

"Tell me what happened, Lor. This is a medical center – did you go to see a doctor? What was the bad news, Lor?"

Lorelai started shaking her head even before he stopped speaking. She could not bring herself to say it, especially not to him. Not to the man who she had made so many mistakes with. Getting pregnant at sixteen (not that she ever considered Rory a mistake). Sex on her parents' balcony. Sex at the Independence Inn even when he was still technically "with" Sherry. Tequila night. And finally, worst of all, sex after her ultimatum to Luke. Bitterly, Lorelai wondered if all those mistakes had finally caught up with her and that Fate or Karma was taking its revenge on her reproductive cycle.

"Its personal," she said, not caring that her answer was rudely vague.

"Lor..."

"Would you stop calling me that!" she exclaimed. "My name is Lorelai! You're the only one that calls me 'Lor,' and I hate it. My name is Lorelai."

"Sure, sorry. Lorelai," he added, and she realized that it wasn't what he said that annoyed her so much, but rather the fact that it was him saying it.

They sat silently for several minutes, and Lorelai was finally able to begin pulling herself together. Wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket, she asked, "So what _are _you doing here, Christopher?"

"Doctor's appointment," he answered, gesturing to the floors above them. "Ever since my dad died, I've been getting yearly physicals."

Lorelai nodded. It was a plausible enough excuse, but at the same time she found it awfully coincidental that he had just happened to show up during her emotional break-down.

"Christopher, I want you to listen to me now. I don't want you coming by the inn anymore. I don't want you sending me letters or calling me. If you see me on the street, say 'hello,' but keep on walking."

"Lorelai, we have a kid together," he protested.

"Yeah, and in another year she's going to graduate from college. She's a big girl. She doesn't need us to be in contact any more, Chris. And I just can't do it, I really can't. Not after everything that's happened."

Taking a deep breath, he began, "You know I love you-"

"Chris..."

"No, just hear me out. You got to have your say, now I want mine. I love you, Lorelai. I've loved you since we were fifteen in the back of my dad's car. And I hate seeing you like this. You're sitting in the lobby of this building – crying, and its not even the first time! You came to me, completely distraught about this Luke guy. Before that, you got tanked at that wedding. And I know you weren't happy then. This guy isn't good for you. I know I haven't always been there for you, but this guy... he's bad for you. I don't understand why you don't see it."

She sighed, wishing there was a way to show him exactly how right for her Luke was.

"I love him," she said simply. "And he loves me. And everything you've said – we've worked through that. We're moving forward, and he _is _good for me. Besides Rory, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. And what's more, you _aren't _good for me. You never have been. And if you truly love me like you say you do, you'll do this for me. You'll let me go and let me be happy with Luke. Please, Christopher," she implored. "Just let me go."

He did not reply immediately, but rather than wait for a response, Lorelai stood up, gave him one last smile and said, "Goodbye, Chris," before walking away.

* * *

The drive back to Star's Hollow felt interminably long, much longer than the usual thirty minutes with good traffic and nice weather. As she drove through the town square, Lorelai noted that the Thanksgiving decorations had grown in numbers, if not actual size this year. Parking her Jeep down the street, she wrapped her coat around her as she walked down to Luke's diner.

She was focusing so hard on putting one foot in front of the other that she nearly ran into Miss Patty.

"Oh, sorry, wasn't looking where I was going," Lorelai apologized.

"Honey, are you okay?" the other woman asked, noting her red, puffy eyes and vacant expression.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's fine."

"Are you sure?" Patty asked, trying to convey her sympathy, but Lorelai found that she was absolutely sick of that question. Why did everyone feel the need to challenge her when she said she was okay?

Plastering on her fakest smile, Lorelai pronounced, "Really. I'm great. Everything's great. I'm just a little distracted today."

"Okay..." Patty allowed, although her suspicion was still evident. "Well, be sure to come by later and catch me up on all your wedding plans."

"Will do," she promised, and set off again for the diner, this time keeping her eyes ahead of her to avoid any more run-ins with nosy townspeople.

But as she neared the diner, a memory hit Lorelai with the force of a fast-moving car.

"_I bet you'd buy a Barbie for your daughter."_

"_Yeah, well, I'd probably give her the cash to buy it herself and meet her by the baseball cards."_

"_You'll make a great dad."_

April was too old for Barbies, Lorelai realized. Luke had a daughter, but he had missed all the little things. The first steps, the first words, the joyous discovery of wrapping paper at Christmas, the vibrant giggle of a two-year-old running through the house. The oddly emotional process of dropping a five-year-old off on first day of school. Homework, scout meetings, play dates.

The jam hands.

"_I didn't really mean all that stuff I said earlier."_

"_What stuff?"_

"_Uh, the kid stuff, you know."_

"_Oh, it's no big deal."_

"_Yeah, I know, I just. . .I'm not really as anti-kid as I might have come off."_

"_Drop another sucker in..."_

"_Okay, yes. I don't always have the patience for 'em. They tend to be a little squishy, and that freaks me out a little."_

"_You don't have to want kids, Luke. Or like kids. It's not for everybody."_

"_I know, but. . .although I'm quite happy going an entire day without having to deal with somebody else's bodily functions, if I ever happen to meet the right person. . .well, it would be a discussion."_

"_A discussion."_

"_Yes. Probably a short discussion, but still."_

And it had been a discussion. After years of pretending to be the grumpy diner man, living alone in his tiny apartment with the single bed, Luke had finally realized what he wanted, what he had probably always wanted.

"_Why is it so hard?"_

"_What, relationships? Look who you're asking."_

"_At least you got married."_

"_At least you had a kid."_

Had he wanted it even then? Before they had officially gotten together? Before she even knew he wanted her, he had wanted the whole package – with her? And then, once they had gotten together, he had bought the Twickham House. For her, for their family. No wonder it had upset him out so much when he thought she was considering taking a job with the Durham Group.

"_And then there's all that travel. There's travel, right?"_

"_Yes. No, I don't know. What are you freaking out about?"_

"_Well, what about the kids!"_

"_What kids?"_

"_Uh, nothing. Never mind, forget it. I'm going to... fix the window._

"_Luke?"_

"_Room three. Got it."_

And then, after they had gotten engaged, he had all but said he wanted kids.

"_So when I said 'what about the kids,' I didn't mean 'what about our kids.' I mean, yes, obviously, what about our kids? But I didn't mean we had to have any kids. 'Cause we don't. But... we can, I just didn't want you to think that I was laying down some kind of a mandate. I mean, kids. It's plural, so it sounds like a lot. But we can just have one kid. One's fine, or more if you want more, or we don't have to have any kids. We could just get a plant."_

Kids. Plant, shmant, he wanted kids. Luke Danes wanted kids... with her. And she could not give him that, as much as she wanted to. The odds just were not in her favor.

Lorelai had finally reached the diner, the three steps leading to the door seeming like a small mountain in her path. With strength and willpower she did not know she had, she opened the door and forced herself to go inside.

The sight which greeted her was much the same as it had always been. Customers at tables, eating food and drinking coffee. The quiet, homey atmosphere of the diner that felt like a second home. She had even painted the walls. She recognized each of the cups as if they were old friends. But most importantly, most poignantly, was the image of the man behind the counter. He looked much the same as he had when she first met him, nearly ten years before. Flannel shirt, backwards baseball cap, an order pad and pencil in hand, and a seemingly permanent scowl that she knew was all show.

"Hey," he said as she entered, and Lorelai did not miss the way his eyes lit up.

"Hey," she answered, quietly, but not so softly as to cause alarm. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure," he answered, ripping the order he had just taken off his pad and walking back to give it to Caesar in the kitchen. "Upstairs?" he asked her, noting the seriousness of her expression. Lorelai nodded.

Just as she was about to take the first step up to the apartment, she heard the phone ring. Luke turned around and answered it without thinking. Lorelai paused by the stairs, grateful for the extra time to collect her thoughts and decide what exactly she was going to say.

"Uh huh... yeah... okay... yeah, I can be there... right now? Well... yeah, okay... I'll see you soon then." Luke sighed audibly as he hung up the phone, then turned back to Lorelai. "That was Anna," he pronounced. "She's stuck in Litchfield. Some kind of car problem. But April's got this thing that she's supposed to go to and... Well, I've gotta run to Woodbury for a few hours to take her, since Anna's not going to be able to make it." He glanced upstairs, then back at her questioningly. "Can this wait until I get back?"

The ordinary domesticity of his statement stunned her, and her own words from two separate occasions floated back to her.

"_I wish I had a partner, someone to pick up the slack. Someone to wait for the cable guy, make me coffee in the morning, meet the stupid sink before it gets sent back to Canada..."_

"_He became that guy... and he gets to be that guy with... _her_."_

When she did not answer immediately, Luke said her name to get her attention.

"Yeah, that's fine," she said automatically.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight."

And then, he was gone. Out the door, on his way to Woodbury. To pick up his daughter.

When Lorelai got into her car a few minutes later, she did not drive home. She could not face returning to that empty house. Nor did she go to the inn – the inn with Sookie, mother of two, and Michel, proud father of a Pomeranian in heat, and all the couples in New England vying for their shot at room number three. No, she could not deal with all that today.

Instead, she drove back to Hartford.

* * *

Later that night, the phone rang in the darkness of the Gilmore/Danes household. The lonely trill sang out four times before the machine clicked and a voice spoke aloud into the silence.

"_Hey Lor? I mean, Lorelai. Its Chris... Listen, I know you said not to call you, and that's probably why you're not answering the phone. But I... I just wanted to let you know, I understand what you told me today. I don't like it, but I'm willing to respect it. I guess also... I just... take care of yourself, Lorelai. I don't know what upset you so badly today, but I hope it works out for you. You really deserve the best. If you ever need anything, you know where to find me. Goodbye, Lorelai."_

After the voice faded away and the light on the machine began to flash, not more than five minutes went by before the front door opened.

"Lorelai?" Luke called out. "Are you home?"

He turned on the lights as he entered the home. Paul Anka trotted down the stairs to greet him, his tail wagging at the prospect of dinner from The Man Who Makes Hamburgers.

"Hey, pal, how ya doin'?" Luke nodded to the dog, as he walked into the living room. Wondering why his wife was not yet home, he headed towards the phone, intent on calling her at the inn. However, he noticed the flashing light and pressed it, expecting to hear her voice launch into a rambling story about Michel, Sookie, or someone else who had delayed her at work. Instead he heard a voice that immediately made his blood boil.

"_Hey Lor? I mean, Lorelai. Its Chris..."_


	11. Redefining It

**A/N**: Thank you for everyone's comments and criticisms on the last few chapters. I very much appreciate everyone's honesty. I took it to heart and after a lot of thought, sat down and re-wrote a lot of what I had originally planned for this part of the story. I like this version better and I think it is more true to the development of the characters. I hope you will forgive me if I have indulged in a little too much angst.

**Chapter 11: Redefining It**

"Lorelai, what are you doing here?"

"Gee, Mom. Feelin' the love."

Emily stared at her daughter in curiosity through the open front door, having shooed away the maid. "Its not Friday; its Wednesday. You never come by the house on Wednesdays."

Lorelai shrugged. "I didn't feel like going home, and I didn't want to drive all the way to Yale to see Rory, especially since she has so little time with Logan while he's here for Thanksgiving."

"What about work? You do still work, don't you?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, I took the day off. Didn't feel like dealing with those people today. Besides, I'm sure Michel booked some sort of pregnant women convention anyway, just to drive me crazy."

"Well, come in and tell me what's going on," she said knowingly, ushering her daughter inside. "Your father's still at the office, but I expect him home soon."

They sat down in the living room, and Lorelai marveled at the fact that she did not feel the usual twinge of repressed annoyance or long-suffering disappointment that she usually got from her mother. It was a nice change, but she found that it freaked her out a little.

"So how are the wedding plans coming?" Emily inquired.

"Oh, they're good. Everything's... coming together. Sookie hasn't decided on the menu yet, but she's promised me that I'll get to pick out the cake myself."

Rory – at Yale with Logan. Inn – fine, but the Frenchman was understandably annoying. Wedding – coming together, whatever that means. That left one last thing to cause Lorelai to appear unannounced at her parents' house on a Tuesday afternoon. "How's Luke?"

Lorelai breathed in deeply, as though preparing herself for something traumatic. However, her answer was a well-rehearsed, "He's fine."

"Did you two have a fight?"

Her response of "No" sounded suspiciously like a "Not yet."

"Well then what's the matter?"

"Nothing's the matter," Lorelai lied. "I just came to... visit with you. Why does something have to be the matter?"

"Please, don't insult my intelligence. You only come here when you have to, or when you need something. Its a staple of our relationship that I accepted long ago. Now, I know you're upset about _something_. It obviously has to do with Luke, or you would be home talking to him about your problem right now. So tell me, Lorelai, do you want to go ten more rounds of this or would you rather just skip to the end and tell me what's bothering you?"

Emily watched as her daughter stared at the ground for several moments, obviously contemplating what to say. When she spoke, her voice was guarded and measured, as though she were doing everything humanly possible to keep herself from bursting into tears.

"You're right. There's something going on with Luke. Well, Luke and me. Mostly me, I think..." She paused as her breath hitched in her throat, but then pressed on, heedless of the moisture gathering in her eyes. "I'm... well, I'm... Luke and I... I can't..." After the fourth try, Lorelai gave up trying to actually get it out, opting instead to say, "Its really something I should discuss with Luke first, I think, Mom. I'm sorry I'm sitting here putting you through this, but I need to talk to him about it first."

Emily pursed her lips in displeasure, but she understood her daughter's hesitance. "You're sure?" she confirmed.

Lorelai nodded, her mind made up. As much as she wanted to tell _someone_, to discuss the situation with someone with perspective, she knew Luke would never forgive her if he found out she had told her mother before telling him.

"I should go..." she began.

"Nonsense," Emily contradicted. "Your father will be home soon. Stay and have dinner with us."

She tried again, less convincingly, "I need to get back to Luke."

"Take a break, relax for a while, stop thinking about whatever you're thinking about for a few hours and eat some dinner. Besides, we're not going to be able to see you tomorrow for Thanksgiving. And I'm having the cook make roast beef. You like roast beef."

It was such an odd moment for Lorelai, so strangely comforting and sweet to be talking to her mother and not be overwhelmed by the need to escape the contact. Emily had not even said anything insulting yet, and she had been in her presence for a full ten minutes. That had to be some kind of record.

"Yeah, I guess... that sounds nice," she allowed, desperately not wanting to face Luke right away.

"You know, I ran into Susan Edelmeyer at the store today. She was buying the most atrocious green sweater..." Lorelai listened as her mother proceeded to tell her about her week, including all the irritating and foolish people she came into contact with. And in the process, she realized that enjoying Emily Gilmore's company was not difficult when her razor-sharp wit and refined scrutiny were trained on some other hapless victim, such as the fashion-challenged Susan Edelmeyer.

Before long, Richard returned home from work and he poured them both drinks before launching into a story of his own. If he was surprised to see Lorelai there, talking politely with her mother, he hid it well, noting only how wonderful it was that she had come to visit.

By the time dinner was served, the surrealism of the evening had Lorelai wondering if she had inadvertently fallen into an episode of _The Twilight Zone_. Emily had astutely veered away from any topic regarding Luke, the Dragonfly, or the wedding, and when Richard happened onto any of those subjects, she gracefully diverted his attention. They talked about Richard's work, the DAR, and whenever conversation hit a snag, "So how is Rory doing with her classes?" was good for at least twenty minutes of conversation and mutual bragging.

They talked about Thanksgiving and how Emily and Richard planned to drive to the Vineyard for the occasion to be with some old friends. Lorelai told them a little about the dinner Sookie was planning at the inn, and they all agreed that it would be a somewhat sad Christmas and New Year's with Rory going to London.

Once she had finished her dessert and was ready to collect her coat from the maid, Lorelai realized with a start that this had been, quite possibly, the most enjoyable dinner she had ever had at her parents' house without Rory. Her mother had been on her best behavior, and her father had been as charming and friendly as she had ever seen him. She almost felt sad to leave.

"You have my cell phone number if you need to contact me while we're out of town," Emily advised. "Call if you need _anything_," she stressed.

"Thanks, Mom," Lorelai said.

"And I mean that – anything. I don't know what has you so down today, but if you need someone to talk to..."

"I'll call," she assured her mother.

"And Lorelai? Before Christmas we really need to take you shopping for some new shoes. Those have to be the ugliest things I have ever seen," she noted with distaste. Her comment made Lorelai smile broadly, happy that at least one thing was still normal.

"We will, Mom," she said, getting into her car to drive home.

* * *

As Lorelai entered her house half an hour later, she sensed intuitively that something was wrong. The door was unlocked, so she knew Luke was home, but the only lights on were the ones in the foyer and the living room by the stairs. The kitchen remained as dark as the rest of the house.

Although it was only a little after 9:00 pm, Lorelai assumed her husband had already retired to bed, seeing as how he had been up early that morning and would likely be up early again the next day. While she knew she had to tell him about what the doctor had said, there would be no point waking him up to do so. And part of her was relieved to push that duty off for another day.

Paul Anka sat up from his place on the landing and greeted her with a timid whine, as if to admonish her for not having been home sooner.

"Hey," she whispered, reaching down to ruffle his fur. "Are you hungry? Did you have dinner yet?"

"I already fed him," came a gruff voice behind her.

Lorelai turned to see Luke sitting on the couch, watching her from amid the shadows of the mostly darkened room. Not dosing or sprawled out – just sitting. As though he had been waiting for her.

"I thought you already went to bed," she told him.

"We need to talk." His voice was hard like stone, and it sent a chill down her spine.

"Yeah, we do," she acknowledged sadly.

"What's going on with you and Christopher?" he asked pointedly, his tone so full of suspicion that Lorelai instantly felt guilty, even among her confusion at the question.

"Nothing!" she said immediately. "Why would you think there's something going on?"

"You've been in contact with him."

"Yeah, and I've told you about it every time," she answered, her anger growing with his insinuation.

At this point Luke stood up from the couch and stepped into the light. He was still fully clothed with his usual green jacket on, as though he had not even bothered to take it off when he got home. "Then why did he say in the message he left you tonight that you looked upset when he saw you _today?_"

This new information took Lorelai aback, as she glanced between Luke and the answering machine. "He called here?" she asked.

"Yeah, he called here. How long has _that _been going on?"

She sighed, too tired to have the same old argument. "Luke, I just... I ran into him today. That was it. I didn't have a chance to tell you earlier..."

"Then tell me now."

It was not a question and not a command, but a plea. The verbal equivalent of an outstretched hand. Luke looked at her in earnest, the anger in his face having changed into a desperate longing to understand what was going on.

"I ran into him when I was in Hartford this afternoon. The first time, before I came to the diner, before I went to my parents' house for dinner. He saw that I was upset, so he stopped to talk to me. I told him not to contact me any more, and then I got up and left."

Luke nodded, accepting this. "Why were you in Hartford?" he asked. "What upset you?"

"I went to a fertility clinic," Lorelai said bluntly.

"You... you what?"

She felt completely drained of strength, exhausted from wrestling with her emotions all day. Walking further into the room, she turned on one of the lamps and dropped onto the couch listlessly before continuing.

"I went to a fertility clinic in Hartford. Actually, I went there a couple of weeks ago for a consultation and to have some tests done. And today the doctor told me the results."

"Lorelai..." Luke began, but trailed off, not knowing where to start, he had so many questions.

"He said... he said he couldn't be sure, but that based on what information he has, he thinks the possibility of me conceiving is 'low,'" she said.

"Low..." he repeated, letting the word sink in.

"And getting lower as I get older," she added, her voice dropping as the sadness hitheragain. "He also said something about hormones and blocked tubes and-" But that was as far as she got before he was beside her on the couch, his arms around her in a firm embrace.

"I wish you had told me before," Luke said. "That you were so worried about this, that you made the appointment."

"I just wanted to be sure," Lorelai whispered. "I know you didn't want me to worry about it, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I wanted to know before the wedding."

"Why before the wedding?" Luke asked pointedly, pulling back so that he could look her in the eye.

"Because... I wanted to know. Just in case..."

She could not bring herself to look at him, instead glancing at her feet, at the coffee table, the pictures above the mantle. Anywhere but his soulful blue eyes, so full of love and understanding that it pained her to think about it.

"Just in case of what, Lorelai? In case I wouldn't marry you? Is that what you thought?"

"No..." She shook her head, but the tears that had begun to well up said otherwise.

Wordlessly, he pulled her back to him, laying her head against his chest as she sniffled rapidly, fighting back the urge to cry. She was so tired of crying, and she doubted that he relished that image of her either.

"You do realize that we're already married, don't you?" he asked, and he felt her nod against him. "And even if we weren't, nothing – _nothing _would stop me from marrying you. Kids or no kids." She nodded again, but he felt that somehow she was not quite hearing him, not quite believing him.

"You know, I never considered kids until I met you," Luke said. "Even after that, well... you remember how I was when Jess came to live with me. And, honestly, it wasn't until I saw you with Rory and how great that was, and how great she is, that the thought of being a father ever occurred to me. I know that's why Anna didn't tell me about April..."

"You would have been a terrific father, even back then," she said with certainty.

"It doesn't matter now. What matters is that I never _wanted _to have kids until I met you. And if you and I can't have kids, then that's fine. We have Paul Anka. We can get a plant or we can adopt or whatever you want to do. But you are the reason I would want to have kids. _You_. Without you, it isn't even a discussion."

"I feel like I've failed you," she admitted quietly. "I got pregnant when I was sixteen, and now when I really _want _to have a baby, I can't."

"Do you want it? Do you really?" he asked, looking deeply into her eyes.

"Of course I want it," Lorelai insisted.

"Because I don't want you putting yourself through all of this just because you think its what _I _want."

"I thought you wanted to have kids," she said, feeling confused.

"Only if _you _want them," he qualified.

"I do. I really do. I didn't realize how much until recently." The desperation in her voice was clear, as was the resigned sadness. "I don't know, maybe I just don't deserve to have kids with you." Lorelai said the last part very quietly, as though to herself. But it caught Luke's attention like a neon sign.

"What does that mean, you don't deserve to have kids?" he challenged. "Why would you say something like that?"

"Maybe, I don't know... maybe its Fate's way of punishing me," she suggested.

Puzzled, he asked, "Punishing you for what?"

"For what I did... for hurting you the way I did." She could not bring herself to mar their conversation by saying his name again.

"Lorelai, I thought we put that behind us," Luke said softly.

"Yes, but every time he does something to come back into our lives, its just a reminder. I can't forget it, Luke. I can't forget that I hurt you." She looked at imploringly, and he wondered how he had never seen the pain embedded in her eyes until that moment. "And then, all I can think is that maybe that's just it – maybe I shouldn't be allowed to forget. Because if I forget, it'll happen again. It happened before, with the tequila and my parents' wedding. And I swore then that if I got another chance, that I would do better. But then I screwed up even worse. And you forgave me – again. And now, I'm just so terrified of strike three, cause I know I'm on my last chance here."

Luke sat mutely, stunned by her outburst. He sincerely had no idea what to say or even where to start. It frightened him that she felt that way, and he had never realized it. Unable to stand the silence, Lorelai continued on with her soliloquy.

"So I thought maybe, once I got pregnant, that would prove that I'm 'all in,' here. That this is it for me. And then, when it wasn't happening, I just kept wondering, did I miss my chance? Is this my punishment for hurting you like I did? Because, you forgave me, and it was so easy. You were so good to me, and I didn't deserve it, but you were. You took me to Martha's Vineyard to get married, and it was so beautiful, and I didn't deserve any of that..."

"Stop," Luke said, reaching out to take grip her arms firmly. "Just stop. The only one punishing you here is you, Lorelai. You made a mistake. Yes, it hurt me, but it hurt you just as much. It was a mistake. You have to let it go. This isn't you, Lorelai. One night does not define your entire life."

"I'm so afraid of losing you again," she confessed.

"That's not going to happen," Luke told her. "But you've got to stop torturing yourself with this."

Lorelai nodded, unable to speak through the unshed tears caught in her throat. She was so proud to have gotten through their entire conversation without crying, and she refused to give into it again.

"Promise me, Lorelai," he demanded.

"I promise," she managed quietly, stiffly, then she closed her eyes in one last-ditch effort to keep the floodgates closed. Luke saw the signs of her internal struggle and quickly pulled her to him again, wrapping his arms around her in comfort.

"And promise me that you'll talk to me about this stuff, when it comes up. If something's bothering you, you have to tell me. And if its still bothering you, tell me again. 'Cause sometimes I don't get it the first time, but that doesn't mean I don't think its important. So, promise me, okay?"

"I promise," Lorelai parroted quietly.

"Promise me you'll stop worrying about this pregnancy stuff. We'll go to the doctor and see what we can do. Maybe its not as bad as you think. But promise me you'll stop stressing over it."

"I promise," she repeated, and he could sense that the words were getting easier for her.

"And promise me that if you do get pregnant, you won't drink coffee," he said in as serious a tone as he could muster.

"I..." Lorelai paused, and then she pulled away from him, laughing as she did so. It was a genuine Lorelai-laugh, still tinged with emotion but full of that sparkling quality of life she brought to everything she touched. "I have to draw the line somewhere," she joked.

He only smiled back, glad that she was starting to sound more like herself. "Come on, its late. Lets get to bed," Luke said as he steered her to the stairs.


	12. Healing It

**Chapter 12: Healing It**

Thanksgiving at the Dragonfly Inn turned out to be a beautiful event and very much a family affair. Both Rory and Logan were in attendance, as were Liz and TJ, not to mention Sookie, Jackson, Davey, Martha, Michel, Babette, Morey, a number of others from around town who usually ate at Luke's Diner, and all the guests of the inn. As well, Emily called Lorelai at the last minute and mentioned that their plans at the Vineyard had fallen through due to their friends getting snowed in during their ski trip in Denver. Thus the elder Gilmores were quickly added to the guest list and two more chairs were pulled up to the table.

Unfortunately, April was spending the week with her mother visiting relatives out west and could not attend. It was something of a sore point for Luke, who had wanted her to spend some time with Liz, but the plans had been made months in advance.

"Well, maybe she can come over for Christmas," Lorelai suggested.

"Yeah, Christmas Eve," he confirmed. "But April wants to spend Christmas morning with her mom."

"Hey, Christmas Eve. That's cool," she said brightly. "We can take her to the big thing in town at the square. And watch movies, and open presents early..."

It did not take her long to put him back in a good mood, and by the time they sat down for dinner, they have moved into discussing wedding plans and the preparations still left to do. Emily had been helping with some of the plans and joined the discussion with the ease and practice of a seasoned socialite conversationalist. But even she was not prepared for Luke's sister.

"Lorelai, are you going to wear a white dress?" Liz asked bluntly but not meaning to offend. Her brother had not shared any of the wedding details with her and she was dying of curiosity.

Rory hid her face behind her napkin and Sookie arched an amused eyebrow. Emily did her best not to choke on a piece of turkey that went down the wrong way.

"I have two dresses in mind that I'm still trying to decide between. One is a light blush and one is more cream-colored," Lorelai told her.

"Oh, how pretty," Liz gushed. "I can't wait for the wedding."

"You're not the only one," Emily commented dryly.

Babette piped in, "Yeah, the whole town's lookin' forward to it! Like that big fancy wedding they had for Princess Di and Prince Charles."

"Not quite that fancy," Lorelai said quickly, catching Luke's brief expression of horror. "Just a nice, small-town wedding with all our friends and family."

* * *

After dinner, Rory pulled Lorelai aside to talk to her. She had been worried when Luke had called the night before looking for her, and even more worried when he had not called back to say he had found her. While Lorelai wanted to give her daughter a complete account of the day's events, she still did not feel recovered enough from the emotional whirlwind to discuss it at length. So she gave Rory the highlights, including her run-in with Christopher.

"So he's going to leave you alone?" Rory asked in confirmation.

"That's what he said in his message," she answered, as if to add 'for what that's worth.'

"And you believe him?"

"I think I do," Lorelai said honestly. "I really do think he's going to let it go."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Restraining order," she said firmly. "First thing."

"Okay, good."

They did not get into the fertility issue, especially since Lorelai knew that it was something she needed to talk to Luke about more in-depth. The more she thought about it, the more she wondered how absolute the doctor's answer had been. Looking back on it, she supposed that he did not sound as sure as she thought he did. Perhaps Luke was right and she just needed patience.

Before she knew it she was kissing her daughter and hugging her parents goodbye. Liz nearly squeezed the life out of her, but gave up in favor of the box of left-overs Sookie offered her. By the time everyone had left, it was getting dark outside and Luke had built a fire in the lobby fireplace. He waited for her to say goodnight to the guests as they retired to their rooms, making sure hey had everything they needed and that the dinner had been to their liking. She even had one of the kitchen staff make up a tray of food for the couple in room three, whom no one had seen in two days but Michel flatly refused to check in on.

But when she returned down stairs, she found Luke asleep on the couch in the lobby, his head tilted back at a bad angle. She knew he must be exhausted having slept in his truck all night. As well, the combination of tryptophan and the large meal in her system left Lorelai feeling rather tired as well. She sat down next to him on the couch, careful not to wake him as she let their shoulders touch.

"Mmm..." Luke murmured sleepily, on the edge of full consciousness. "You ready?"

"Whenever you are," she whispered back.

"...few more minutes," he replied.

Rather than try to wake him, she simply stroked the side of his neck until he relaxed enough to let his head rest against her shoulder. It was still not the best angle for him, but she thought he looked more comfortable than he had before.

Within moments, they had both fallen asleep in front of the warmth of the fire.

* * *

"I can't believe you talked me into going shopping on this of all weekends," Luke complained. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and he had never seen the mall so crowded.

"This is the best time to find Christmas presents," Lorelai said excitedly. "All the best sales, door prizes, and you never know. We might get shown on the news!" She pointed to a camera crew from one of the local television stations that was covering the holiday crowd.

"Only because they'll be wheeling my trampled body out on one a stretcher," he grumbled.

"Oh, get into the Christmas spirit, Luke."

"Peace, love, and harmony?" he asked in disbelief, looking at the mob scene around him.

"No, of course not," Lorelai contradicted. "Its great deals, low prices, and the perfect gifts for everyone on your list. Now be good or I'm getting you an award in the shape of a leg-lamp for Christmas."

"If you do I'll put it in the front window," he retorted, and she smiled knowing he had gotten the reference. "By the way, you never told me what you want for Christmas."

"That's because you haven't asked in the right way. Put on a Santa suit and I'll sit on your lap and tell you everything that's on my list," she flirted, loudly enough for several ladies standing nearby to turn and give Luke a disapproving look.

"Ah, jeez..."

But as much as Luke grumbled, he followed her through every store, stood with her in every line, and carried more bags than he ever thought it was possible for a single human being to amass. They bought gifts for the girls, her parents, and his nephew, sister, and brother-in-law. Finally, sometime in the early afternoon, Lorelai started to get hungry, and he convinced her to take a break in the food court.

"I can't believe how much stuff you bought," he marveled.

"You think I missed my calling as an assistant to a major fashion magazine editor?" she asked. While he may have gotten the reference to _A Christmas Story_, there was no way he had seen _The Devil Wears Prada_.

"I don't know about that, but this is really... a lot." He gestured to the bags gathered on and around their table. He had already done one rant on materialism, two on capitalism in general, and one on the silliness of having a male and female branch of the same department store on opposite ends of the mall.

"Well, not everyone is satisfied with something covered in cats," Lorelai teased, referring both to his ridiculous gift for Rachel years before and the almost-gift for April on her last birthday.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Luke acknowledged grudgingly. "And we got a good deal on that telescope for April. You think she'll like it?"

"I think she'll love it," Lorelai assured him. Despite all his tough talk about shopping, he had looked for over an hour through the Discovery Channel store before leafing through one of their catalogs to find what he hoped was the perfect gift: a $600 telescope that was not only programmed to find nearly anything in the night sky but also automatically centered its position without any help from its user. Certainly, it was an expensive gift, but Lorelai knew that he wanted to make up for all the Christmases he had missed over the years.

Suddenly, her attention was drawn to someone standing just to the side of her husband. It was a little girl, no more than two years old, and she was staring at Luke with such a look of curiosity that Lorelai almost laughed.

"What?" Luke asked, seeing her amused expression. She pointed at the little girl.

Glancing down, he was startled by the child's proximity. She was clothed in a red dress and jeans jacket and had straight hair, so black that it almost looked blue. As well, her almond shaped eyes and bridge-less nose indicated that she was of Asian heritage.

Luke stared at her nervously, but rather than being frightened of him, she began to grin and giggle under his appraising look.

"Kathy!" a woman called out in irritation as she walked over to the child. "How many times have I told you not to run off like that?"

But rather than being appropriately chastened, Kathy simply giggled again and pointed at Luke, as though his presence was enough to explain her wayward behavior.

Turning back to Luke and Lorelai, the woman scooped up the girl said apologetically, "Sorry about that"

Noticing that the woman was not only older (probably in her mid to late 50's) and looked nothing like the little girl (she was blond haired and caucasian), Lorelai was immediately intrigued. "Oh, its fine. He gets that reaction a lot."

"She has this weird fascination with men and beards," the woman explained.

"How old is she?" Lorelai asked politely.

"She's almost three."

"But she's so tiny!"

"Yeah, we get that a lot."

Luke joined the conversation at this point, his own curiosity getting the best of him. "Is she..." he trailed off, not sure how to ask his question without the risk of causing offense.

"Adopted? Yes, she is," the woman answered easily. Looking down at Kathy, she smiled broadly at the girl, who grinned back at her, then hid her face in the woman's shirt. "We went over to China to get her when she was fourteen months old."

"Wow, China," Luke said. "That's a long way."

"I don't know how much you know about things over there, but historically they have a very male-centric culture," the woman explained. "A lot of couples want to have boys because they think boys can better take care of them in their old age. As well, because of the massive population, there is a law penalizing people for having more than one child. So sometimes when a couple has a female baby first, they will get rid of her so that they can try for a boy."

"I've heard stories about that," Lorelai said, and Luke nodded along, familiar with the problem.

"Usually they just leave the babies on the side of the road or at a bus station. When they're found, the babies are taken to orphanages, where they grow up."

Lorelai frowned as she pictured hundreds of little girls growing up without parents. "That's terrible," she said.

The woman returned her attention to the child in her arms, smiling as she spoke. "Kathy here was left on a well-traveled road, where there was no doubt she would be found. She was wrapped up tightly in a blanket, and she had a note pinned to it that told her birth date."

"I can't believe someone would just... leave her like that," Luke remarked. At the sound of his voice, the little girl turned to stare at him again, then began giggling nervously before turning back to her mother. She whispered something in the woman's ear before hiding her face once again against her shoulder.

"She thinks your hat is funny," the woman interpreted, and Luke blushed slightly.

"I've heard that a lot of people are adopting from other countries," Lorelai remarked casually. "Because its so hard to adopt babies here."

"That's true," the woman said. "Also, my husband and I are older. I have two grown sons from a previous marriage, but he never had any kids. And by the time we started thinking we'd like to have a second family, it was too late for me to get pregnant, and most of the agencies here in the US wouldn't accept us because we were too old." She shrugged. "As well, I know a lot of kids here are in foster care and could use good homes, but if you've seen some of these orphanages and heard some of the stories... it touches you, you know?"

Lorelai nodded, considering this information.

"How long did did the adoption take?" Luke asked.

"Oh, about a year. Its a long, complicated process with the Chinese government, with a lot of red tape and uncertainty." Smiling down at her daughter, she added, "But it was worth it."

"I'm sure it was," Lorelai agreed, looking from her to Kathy.

"Well, you two have a nice day," she said as she walked away. "And Happy Holidays."

"Thanks."

Glancing over at Luke, Lorelai raised her eyebrows in an unspoken question.

"We can talk about it," he told her simply.

* * *

The weeks after Thanksgiving passed quickly, and before Lorelai knew it she was saying goodbye to her daughter at the airport. She and Luke had driven her to New York, which had a direct flight to England. Rory was looking forward to spending three weeks of her Christmas vacation in London with Logan, but she knew she was going to miss celebrating the holidays with her family.

"You better call me," Lorelai said as she hugged her tightly. "Every day."

"Every day?"

"Well, maybe not every day, but a lot."

Rory next turned to Luke, who stood stoically off to one side. "Take care of my mom," she told him before hugging him as well.

"I'll do my best," he answered, just as Lorelai said, "He always does."

"Oh, April wanted me to give you this," Luke said, picking up a frilly pink gift bag that Lorelai had graciously agreed to carry for him into the airport. "Its sort of an early Christmas present. She said that you could open it before you got on the plane, so security won't bug you."

Rory quickly tore into the bag and pulled out a book. "_Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_. You know, we were talking about this the last time I saw her. I told her that I read it when I was really young but didn't remember much about it. That's so cool that she remembered that."

"Kinda nice having a sister who can read?" Lorelai asked.

"Definitely," Rory grinned. "Tell her thank you so much, Luke."

"She'll be glad you liked it."

They said their final goodbyes and Lorelai did her best not to cry until Rory had gotten through the security checkpoint. Luke just put his arm around her, and assured her, "She's coming back in a few weeks."

"Yeah, but it just kind of hit me again. My kid is all grown up."

"That's what happens," Luke pointed out.

"I know," she agreed sadly. "I just miss her." But as he walked with her out of the building, her mood picked up again as she pointed to one of the big television screens showing flights departing for destinations all around the world. "Hey, we could go to China," she joked.

"And do what?"

"Um... Christmas shopping?" she ventured.

Luke rolled his eyes but did not miss the meaning behind her suggestion. "I told you, we can talk about it," he said. She nodded happily at the prospect.

* * *

As the days grew shorter and shorter and Christmas rapidly approached, Lorelai found herself spending more and more time at the inn trying to keep things running smoothly. A burst pipe in one of the bathrooms caused a number of problems, putting the room out of commission for two weeks while the damage was repaired and the ruined furnishings repaired. If nothing else, the problem gave her some insight into whatever plumbing issues Luke had been helping Anna with and why they had taken so long to remedy.

Luke, for his part, went out of his way to be there for Lorelai in every way possible. On days when she lacked the time to run by the diner, he would take her coffee and donuts to the inn, despite the insulted look Sookie shot him every time he brought in "competition pastry." And in the evenings, he would force her out of her office to at least eat dinner before returning back to work.

"I have to go to Woodbury to this thing of April's tomorrow afternoon," he told her one evening. "Its her last day of school, and she's got some kind of school awards ceremony. And all the kids are going out to dinner afterwards."

"Oh," Lorelai said, knowing what was unspoken, that Anna would be there as well. "Okay, well, I'll probably be working late again anyway, so I'll just see you when I get home."

Luke shrugged nonchalantly as he said, "Oh, well... I was thinking... do you think maybe you can get off a little early? The ceremony's at three o'clock, and it'll probably last forever. But maybe if you have time for dinner..."

"Three o'clock?" Lorelai asked, seizing upon the invitation immediately. "I could do three o'clock."

"You sure?" he asked. "I know you've got a lot of stuff going on at the inn..."

"Yeah, its fine. I'll have Michel cover for me. He owes me anyway."

"How does he owe you?"

"Well, I caught him looking for dog breeders on the internet when he should have been answering phones." He had also inadvertently booked over her own personal reservation for room three on New Year's Eve, not realizing that Lorelai had reserved it for herself. But since she had never run the idea by Luke to begin with, she felt it better not to mention the lost opportunity.

"Okay, well, great." Luke seemed inordinately pleased that she would be going with him, partially because Lorelai had a way of making even the most boring events interesting, but also because he wanted her to see with her own eyes that there was nothing to be jealous of as far as Anna.

* * *

Just as Luke suspected, the awards ceremony was long and tedious as it seemed as though every kid in the school received some sort of recognition. However, he enjoyed seeing April called up to the stage to get her ribbons and certificates for various subjects and honors. As well, he liked spending the time with Lorelai, who at first watched the proceedings on her best behavior, only occasionally whispering comments such as "Oh, its nice they give still give an award for attendance." But after the event stretched into its second hour, she slipped into a more normal routine of gentle mocking.

"They give awards for P.E," she muttered to him sarcastically. "For P.E. Who can do the most sit-ups in a minute. That's an award?"

"Anna says the school is very progressive," Luke attempted, but even he could not keep a straight face through the entire thing.

"Where is Anna?" Lorelai asked, glancing around the room. She knew that April's mother was going to be late, but she did think she was coming.

"I think she slipped in the back about an hour ago," he said, nodding over his left shoulder. Lorelai looked to see if she could spot the woman, and as she did they met eyes across the crowded auditorium. Anna gave a perfunctory smile and wave, prompting Lorelai to give a little wave back.

Turning back to Luke, she asked, "So, are things going okay between you two? You know, with working things out with April...?"

He shrugged, turning his attention back to the awards ceremony. "Yeah, things are fine."

"Good. That's good."

Lorelai forced herself to look back at the stage at the front of the room despite wanting to ask him more about Anna. Even though he had stopped spending so much time over there, she still felt the occasional twinge of jealousy regarding his connection with the mother of his child. She supposed it was something she would always carry with her and just have to learn to live with.

As though he could hear her thoughts, Luke reached down and took her hand, carefully interlacing their fingers and letting them rest against the side of his knee. It was a simple gesture, possibly even done unconsciously as he had not taken his eyes from the stage.

"You think that kid looks like Gene Wilder?" he leaned over and asked her in a whisper, nodding towards the third recipient for the "Best Helper – Art" award.

Lorelai grinned at him, all her fears and worries slipping to the back of her mind. "I was thinking Tony Shaloub."

"I can kind of see that..."


	13. Needing It

**Chapter 13: Needing It**

Because April would be spending Christmas day with her mother, Luke wanted to make sure Christmas Eve was extra special for her. And while Lorelai felt sad that her own daughter was so far away, she threw herself into the evening with Luke and April. After watching _Its a Wonderful Life _("Because its tradition, Luke!"), they walked to the town square to listen to the carolers and enjoy the lights, then returned home to open presents.

As much as Lorelai had teased him about his inability to pick out gifts, Luke came though for her with a beautiful pair of diamond earrings and matching bracelet. "Never gone wrong with jewelry," he commented shyly when she thanked him.

In return, Lorelai gave him a number of less expensive gifts. New dress clothes that she knew would look good on him. A new baseball hat, the same color as his old one. An apron that read , 'Kiss the Cook.' A bowling ball with his name engraved on the case. "For that team you keep telling me we're going to join," she told him.

April gave them both simple gifts – a new sewing box for Lorelai and a chess set for Luke. "For when we hang out at the diner and its slow," she told him when he opened the box. "It reminded me of you because its all about logic and deliberation. Plus, the pieces are made of stone, so you can always throw them at Taylor if he gets too annoying."

Afterwards, Luke took April outside in the snow to try out her new telescope while Lorelai called Rory in London to wish her a Merry Christmas. It was their first real holiday together as a family, and somehow that made her feel a little less lonely with her daughter so far away.

Later that night, after dropping April off at her mother's house and returning home, Luke collapsed onto the bed, exhausted from so much activity. But Lorelai remained slightly hyper from eating too much sugar, or possibly from the excitement of having April over for the evening. Even after being married for six months, she still delighted in the fact that they were sharing their lives together, including their daughters. That thought would not leave her mind as she lay next to him, thoughts racing.

Sitting up in bed, she whispered to Luke, "I think April liked her gift."

"Yeah?" Luke asked, uncertain. She had certainly seemed pleased with the gadget, but he was not sure how much of her enthusiasm was for show and how much could be attributed to her general love of learning. She had a way of finding something interesting in every situation. In that way, April reminded him of Lorelai, except while his daughter liked to analyze and deconstruct, his wife preferred to mock mercilessly.

"Oh, definitely," she confirmed. "But you may live to regret it when she becomes an astronaut and moves to Mars."

"Over my dead body," he muttered tiredly.

"Then she can be like Tiger Woods and go on TV and talk about how her father always encouraged her, and bought her a telescope when she was a kid..."

"Lorelai? Go to sleep," he told her.

"Okay, good night," she agreed, laying her head on the pillow and closing her eyes. However, the attempt only lasted a matter of seconds. "Luke?"

"What?" He kept his eyes stubbornly closed as he answered.

"She really likes you, you know," Lorelai remarked.

"That's good..." Luke responded automatically, barely even listening as he drifted into unconsciousness.

She lay still for a moment longer, eyes wide open as she watched him fall asleep. Suddenly, she sat up and turned on the light by the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked irritably, noticing the light but refusing to open his eyes.

"Luke, I want to talk about adoption," she announced. "You said we could talk about it, and we did a little bit, but then you said 'later,' and now, its later. So I want to talk about it."

He blinked at her sleepily. "Now?"

"Yeah, now."

"Lorelai, its almost midnight."

"Well, you said to tell you when I wanted to talk about something, and I want to talk about this, so-"

"Okay, okay, okay," he caved, yawning as he drug himself into a sitting position on the bed next to her. "So lets talk about it."

"If it turns out that I can't have a baby-"

"We," he corrected. "If _we _can't have a baby."

"If _we _can't have a baby, I want to adopt." While her eyes were full of sadness at the idea of not being able to conceive, they also now contained hope. It was an idea she had been considering, ever since going over that pamphlet countless times. As well, she kept remembering the little girl they had seen at the mall – so tiny and perfect. It touched her heart to know that there were thousands of others just like her growing up in orphanages half a world away.

Luke, for his part, had also thought about the idea of adoption, but not as thoroughly as Lorelai. It was not that he was against the concept necessarily, but somewhere in his mind, he had not quite let go of the image of a kid that was a little piece of each of them. A blue-eyed, brown-haired kid that would look like Lorelai and hopefully eat like him.

"Okay," he agreed, not sure why this was a matter that needed to be discussed so urgently. He had already said adoption was an option if they found they could not have a kid.

"Okay?" Lorelai confirmed. "Really?"

"Well, yeah, if that's what you want."

"But what about what you want?" she pressed.

"Lorelai..." Tiredly, he ran a hand over his jaw. "I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. We haven't gone back to see this doctor yet. We don't know that its _not _possible for you to get pregnant. And until then, I don't think you should give up on the idea. Yeah, if it doesn't happen, we can definitely talk about adoption. But until then, I don't want you acting like its a forgone conclusion."

"Yeah, okay," she said quietly. Luke could tell that the matter still weighed on her mind, but he knew that he could do nothing to ease her concern before they went to the fertility clinic. Based on what information he had gotten from her about the test results, he had a strong belief that all hope was not yet lost on that front.

"Hey, come here," he said, tugging her over to rest against him. "We've still got plenty of time for all of this. You are still young-"

"Not as young as I used to be," she interjected.

"-and beautiful," he continued. "You have more energy than any two people I know. And you've got this whole parenting thing down. So we just need to be patient and it'll happen, one way or another."

"I guess," Lorelai sighed. She was so tired of worrying and wondering. Could she get pregnant? Would she get pregnant? Part of her wanted to skip the guessing game altogether and just start the adoption process. She knew it took a long time, sometimes up to a year depending on the agency and if they decided to apply for a foreign adoption. But at the same time, she _wanted _to get pregnant, to have a little Luke or Lorelai, Jr.

"So, are you ready to go to sleep?" Luke asked. "Or do you want to talk some more?"

"Done talking," she said, feeling her mood lift as she rubbed her arm sensually against his leg. "Not ready to go to sleep..." And despite the late hour and the long day, Luke felt his fatigue drain away as she leaned forward to kiss him, then run her lips along his skin to his neck. "I never did tell you what I want for Christmas," she breathed into his ear.

"And what's that?" he asked, his voice growing thick with desire.

"Just you."

It was considerably later before they actually fell asleep.

* * *

Three days after Christmas, Lorelai found herself again covering the front desk for Michel, who had taken the morning off, and for once she did not mind handling both jobs at once. She actually felt rather cheerful, more so than she had in a long time. But as she flipped through their computer system to note down the Haversham's reservation for March 4th, something began to bother her. It tickled her mind like the line of a song or a quote from a movie she simply could not place. 

After a few minutes of intense reflection, she decided to let it go, figuring that whatever it was would occur to her when she stopped thinking about it. And indeed, as soon as she let her mind focus on preparations for the New Year's party they were having at the inn, the elusive thought struck her full-force and sent her scrambling for the personal day planner she kept in her purse.

One week. She was one week late. Lorelai struggled to contain her emotions at the possibility that she was not simply late, but that she had finally managed to get pregnant. _One thing at a time_, she scolded herself. _Don't put the cart before the horse. And don't jinx it!_

She had, after all, been late before. And there were no cravings, although fruit had proven a decidedly unreliable indicator in the past. No, there was only one way to find out, and with no one to cover the desk for her, Lorelai would simply have to wait until her lunch break.

But by 10:00 am, she had lost all patience. She considered simply calling Luke and having him run out and buy her a pregnancy test, but quickly discounted the idea. The matter was too personal, too private and emotional. She needed to get away from the Dragonfly herself, but Michel was not due back for another three hours. But as luck would have it, Lorelai spotted one of Sookie's minions helping in the dining room and she called him over.

"David, how're you doing today?" Lorelai asked. "Doing good? That's great. I just wanted to tell you that I think you're doing a fantastic job. And a few months ago, when you drove that pregnant woman and her husband to the hospital? That was really above and beyond the call of duty. So, listen, I have a question for you. How would you feel about maybe branching out your expertise, learning some new skills. You never know when they'll come in useful later on, especially if you ever consider applying for a managerial position."

"You want me to do cover the desk, don't you?" David said knowingly.

"Just for a few hours, at the most," she pleaded. "I'm sure Sookie won't mind."

"Sure, no problem," he relented, smiling.

"You're an angel," Lorelai told him as ran to her office to grab her purse. "Seriously, you should be on those Red Bull commercials, 'cause you've got wings and everything."

"Next time you need someone rushed to the emergency room, remember this and send Manny!" he called after her.

Lorelai was in such a hurry to get to the diner that she nearly mowed down everyone on the sidewalk in her way, several of whom shot her dirty looks. Having narrowly sideswiped him as she passed his store, Taylor began to issue her a stern admonishment to pay more careful attention to walkway safety when she did literally bump into someone.

"Sorry," she said automatically.

"Mrs. Gilmore!" the man said in surprise, and she was momentarily at a loss as to how he knew her. But after focusing on his face for several seconds, recognition dawned.

"Doctor Johnson... what are you doing in Star's Hollow?" Rather than the white coat and slacks she had seen him in before, he was more casually attired in jeans and a heavy winter jacket. She found it odd to see him in her town, not just because he seemed so out of place. There were just some people she had difficulty seeing outside of their professional personae.

"I'm actually up here doing a little antiquing with my wife. That Mrs. Kim drives a hard bargain, but she really does have some great stuff," he said with a chuckle, and Lorelai vaguely remembered him mentioning something to that effect at her last appointment. "So where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"Well, uh..." She paused, trying to think of a plausible excuse that would not insult his intelligence. But then, she realized that if there truly was anyone in the world she could reveal her suspicions to, then her fertility doctor was that person. Dropping her voice, and pulling him to the side, she said, "Actually, I was running to the drug store. I'm... late, and I thought maybe... you know..."

"Ah," he said knowingly. "How late are you?"

"About a week."

He nodded. "Okay... well... I wouldn't necessarily get your hopes up just yet. Late or missed periods can just be false alarms. And as I recall, you are in your mid to late thirties...?" he guessed.

"Yeah, thirty-eight."

"And, refresh my memory, did your tests show abnormal hormone levels?"

"Well, you said they were low." She forced herself not to shudder at the word he had also used it to describe her overall chances of conception.

"Okay..." Nodding, he gave her a kindly look, the type she remembered her father always using when he was humoring her. "Well, I think you should buy a test, definitely. But if it comes back negative – which, I'm not saying it will, but if it does – I want you to call my office first thing after the holidays. See, what often happens is that when women get to a certain age, their hormone levels naturally start to decline-" He stopped himself as he glanced around. "Do you mind talking about this? I realize that this is probably kind of a sensitive subject..."

"Why don't we go sit down?" Lorelai suggested. "That is, if you have time? I know you're on vacation, and I hate to just spring a consultation on you like this..."

"Oh no, its fine," he said as hey walked across the street to the square and took a seat on one of the benches. "I run into patients in Hartford all the time. Just part of the job. Now, as I was saying, as women approach menopause, their hormone levels get lower. Now, I'm not suggesting that you're necessarily starting menopause," he quickly added. "But you are getting older. We all are. So late menstruation and even skipping menstruation happens more frequently."

"But it could also mean that I'm pregnant, right?" she pointed out.

"That's very true, and I hope that's the case here. But if its not, I don't want you to get your hopes up. I have seen a lot of women miss periods and work themselves up into a frenzy over and over again, thinking they have gotten pregnant."

"So..." she paused, unsure. "What should I do?"

"Well, like I said, take a test. And if it comes up positive, great. I'll give you the names of some good OBGYN's. If not, I want you to call my office next week and schedule an appointment to see me. A day or so before, I think I'll have you come in and have a couple of new tests run so that I can check those hormone levels. Then when you come in to talk to me, I'll go over your chart – you have been keeping up with your temperature chart?" Lorelai nodded. "Good. I'll go over that, look at your most recent test results, and maybe we can talk about putting you on some sort of hormone therapy to boost your ovulation."

"And that'll help me get pregnant?" Lorelai asked. She had read something about the hormone drugs they prescribed but did not understand exactly how they worked.

"The medication will increase your chances because it will basically force your body to ovulate, which it may not be doing properly right now. I can't guarantee that you'll get pregnant because there may be other factors we haven't found yet." His brow crinkled as he began to remember more details about her case. "Speaking of which, you need to bring your husband in so that we can run some tests on him as well. Is there some reason he didn't want to participate in this with you?"

"No, nothing like that," Lorelai said quickly. She wanted to correct his misperception of why Luke had not been at the previous appointments with her and why she had been so adamant about his lack of fault in the situation. "See, like I told you before, he already has a daughter. So if there's a problem, its probably with me."

"How old is his daughter?"

"She's thirteen."

Doctor Johnson shrugged. "Well, thirteen years gives plenty of time for problems to develop. And you may be right – there may be nothing wrong with him – but it has always been my policy to check the male as soon as possible. The process is quick and easy, and there is no sense putting you through all these tests and drug treatments if we need to be focusing on him. Now, if he's nervous about coming in or uncomfortable, maybe I could talk to him..."

"Oh no, not at all. He wants to come in. I just didn't want to get him involved in all this before unless it was necessary..." She smiled slightly, realizing how preposterous that sounded even to her own ears. "But we'll both be there. If the test is negative."

"Excellent," he said, giving her a patented 'Doctor Smile.' "Well, you go and get that pregnancy test. And give me a call next week either way to let me know, okay?"

Lorelai assured him that she would, and he had not gotten half-way down the street before she was in the diner, pulling Luke out the back towards his truck.

* * *

"I love how they sell these things two to a pack. Like, they're banking on the fact that whoever buys them isn't going to be satisfied with just one result, so they put an extra one in there," Lorelai said as she set both plastic strips on the counter to wait. 

"So, how long is it supposed to take?" Luke asked uncomfortably.

"The box says... three minutes," she read, then glanced at him. "So, you wanna... go sit down?"

He nodded, and they both went into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed to wait. The undercurrent of nervousness was almost palpable, having grown in intensity every moment since they bought the test at the pharmacy in Litchfield (so as to avoid the unwelcome speculation of nosy town citizens).

"So, that guy was the fertility doctor, huh?" Luke inquired. They had already discussed her earlier run-in with the man, but he wanted to distract her from thinking about the test. He also wanted to remind her of everything the doctor had said, especially the part about dashed hopes.

"Yeah, he's pretty nice."

"So he wants me to have some... tests done," he said neutrally, and they both knew which types of 'tests' to which he was referred.

Lorelai pointed towards the bathroom and told him hopefully, "Wait until after we see the results."

He nodded in deferment, and they both fell silent for a few moments, the quiet ticking of the clock on the wall filling the room with its reassuring rhythm. Or its ominous foreboding, depending upon which of the two occupants might have described the sound.

"How long has it been?" she asked.

Luke glanced at the clock. "About a minute."

"Wow, time really slows down when you're waiting for something," Lorelai remarked in annoyance. "I don't remember it taking this long the last time I did this."

"It'll be done soon," he said.

"Yeah..."

They waited as another minute ticked by. Luke sat with his arms crossed, staring at the slow-moving second hand. Lorelai picked nervously at the blanket even as she wondered how difficult it would be to fit a crib in the corner of their bedroom.

"Now?" she asked.

"Not yet."

Ten seconds went by.

"Now?"

"I'll tell you when its time." His voice was more calm than annoyed, and she tried to draw strength from his surety.

Ten more seconds.

"Now?"

"Almost."

Five seconds.

"Now," he said decisively.

They stood up in tandem and walked into the bathroom. But she hesitated before reaching the sink. Luke put one hand on the small of her back.

"You ready?" he coaxed her gently.

She simply nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and they stepped forward together to see the tests. Each of them stared at the strips for several long seconds, neither wanting to speak but both knowing that one of them had to say something.

"I guess that's why they give you two," Luke commented finally.

"Yeah," she agreed sadly. "So you're not left wondering if one is defective."

"What day does the doctor's office open?"

"Tuesday."

"Then we'll call on Tuesday."


	14. Giving It

**A/N: **This chapter has some sexual situations at the end, so be advised. Nothing terribly graphic, but please use your discretion.

* * *

**Chapter 14: Giving It**

After receiving the disappointing results of the pregnancy tests, Lorelai went out of her way to demonstrate to Luke that she was fine, that the little negative signs had not completely crushed her hopes and dreams. She continued to joke and make bizarre references to things he had never heard of. She also immersed herself in both the plans for the Dragonfly's New Year's Eve party and their wedding. She made party hats for the former and sent the invitations out for the latter. She also dragged Luke to a number of stores to complete their registry for gifts.

But underneath all her distractions, Lorelai was a little depressed, despite all the warnings not to get her hopes up too high, from Dr. Johnson, from Luke, and from herself. She knew that it had hit Luke pretty hard as well. Sometimes she saw him standing, just lost in thought as he wiped down the counter at the diner or made them dinner at home. She sensed that he might be losing hope as well.

She supposed it was better that she had not yet shown him the baby baseball uniform Liz had given them. The possibility that they would never have a baby kept it carefully stowed on the top shelf of the downstairs closet.

"Lorelai?" Luke called, as he walked down the stairs and past that very closet. "I don't have to wear a tie to this thing, do I?" he whined. He found her rummaging through the closet in Rory's room.

"You don't have to wear a tie," she assured him.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked, puzzled.

"Looking for clothes."

"In Rory's room?"

"I keep some things in her closet."

"Why?" he queried, in that voice that always used when he was preparing himself for a truly frightening response. "You have a whole big closet upstairs."

"Yeah, see, that's the problem with building me a bigger closet, Luke," she answered as she pulled out a particularly low-cut dress. "I buy more clothes and I fill up the big closet 'cause I figure, 'Hey, I have a big closet. Plenty of room for clothes.' Then I end up with no room in my closet for the clothes I have, let alone the new clothes I've bought."

Luke just stared at her. "That didn't make _any _sense," he stated.

"Well, it did in my mind." She held up the dress in front of her. "What do you think of this?"

"Nice."

"Not too ring-in-the-new-year?" she flirted.

"No, just enough," he answered, amused at the characterization.

"Okay. Hey, Sookie's throwing us a wedding shower next Friday."

"A wedding shower?" he repeated, obviously not thrilled with the idea.

"Yeah, people come, bring gifts if they want. Of course, no one will pick anything off our gift registries and we'll get thirteen toasters, but that's okay. There will be cake and wine and beer and we can make fun of Kirk, who is apparently going to be doing a strip-tease."

Luke grimaced in disgust. "Why is Kirk- you know, never mind. I don't want to know. Just tell me what time you want me to be there."

"I think its at seven o'clock, but I'll double-check with Sookie. So, you ready to go?" she asked.

"Yeah, whenever you are."

"Give me ten minutes and we can leave for the inn," she told him before heading upstairs.

"Like you could get ready in ten minutes if your life depended on it," he called after her as he walked into the living room. She stopped on the stairs, turning to look back at him.

"I resent that remark," she stated in mock anger.

"I think you mean that you 'resemble' it," Luke said.

Slinging the dress over her shoulder, Lorelai put her hands on her hips to more thoroughly demonstrate her feigned annoyance. "You wanna bet?"

Luke stared at her for a moment before realizing she was serious. Laughing slightly, he shrugged. "Sure, what'cha got?"

"If I can get ready in ten minutes, you have to be my slave for one day," she told him.

"I'm already your slave," he pointed out.

"And do whatever I want, all day. If I say build a bigger closet, you have to build a bigger closet. If I say you have to walk around naked all day, you have to walk around naked all day."

"I am _not _walking around naked," Luke declared.

"But you were so sure of yourself before," she teased.

"Fine. But if I win, you have to give up coffee for a week."

Lorelai glared at him for raising the stakes, but she refused to back down.

"Okay," she said. "But you have to take the day off work so you can't use that as an excuse to get away."

"Then you can't have _any _caffeine – not just coffee."

"Fine," she agreed. "Ten minutes."

"I'll be timing you," he said, sitting down on the couch. "And that includes hair and makeup!"

Exactly nine minutes and forty-six seconds later, Lorelai scrambled out of their bedroom and to the top of the stairs. "Ta-da!" she announced, fully dressed, hair fixed, and make up perfect. "I win, slave," she informed him. "And now you have to do my bidding."

Perhaps Luke should have been a little less pleased at her timely appearance. But looking up at the beautiful, graceful, vivacious woman in front of him, he could not help but admit, at least to himself, that he was already her willing slave and probably always would be.

"Lets just get to the party before its next year," he grumbled good-naturedly.

"Are you going to kiss me when the ball drops?" she asked as they walked out the door.

"Yep."

"You really are the Harry to my Sally."

* * *

New Year's Eve at the Dragonfly went off without a hitch, allowing the rather inebriated couple to take their minds off their recent problems. To that end, when they arrived at the doctor's office later that week for their appointment, they appeared to be in such high spirits that the doctor almost thought his services would no longer be required. They quickly disabused him of that notion, and he reviewed her temperature chart and the results of tests done on both of them the day before. 

"Well, Luke, it looks like Lorelai was correct. There's nothing wrong with fertility levels that I can see. Good count and mobility," Dr. Johnson informed him with a congratulatory smile before turning to Lorelai.

"As for your tests... it looks like we were right, and your hormone levels are lower than they should be. So, like we discussed before, I'm going to write you a prescription for a hormone that should increase ovulation. This may even cause your body to release several eggs at once," he warned her. "So I want to make sure that you're aware of that."

"Wait, you're not saying that if she does get pregnant, she might end up with... sextuplets or something, are you?" Luke demanded.

"No, that's very unlikely," he answered easily. "Most of those cases you hear about on the news are a result of invitro fertilization. They insert a number of embryos, hoping that at least one will stick. And sometimes, as I'm sure you have seen, a bunch of them stick. And for whatever reason – moral or religious reasons – the parents decide not to reduce the number of surviving embryos." Smiling at Lorelai, he added, "I doubt this medication will cause you to produce more than... two or three eggs at once. But hopefully it will double or triple your chances."

Lorelai glanced at Luke before giving the doctor an answering grin. "Sounds good to me. How soon can I get the prescription filled?"

They made it to the pharmacy that day and before they reached Star's Hollow, Lorelai had read all the accompanying literature and taken her first dose.

"Man, do I feel sorry for you," she remarked to Luke.

"Why's that?"

"You thought I was emotional before, and here I am taking even more hormones. By the time we get married, you might decide to re-think this whole idea," Lorelai joked.

"Not a chance."

"Even if I get pregnant with sextuplets and blow up to the size of a small SUV?"

"I'll just have to break down and buy a _large _SUV to tote you around in," he remarked.

"Luke?" He turned to look at her, hearing the sudden seriousness in her voice. "I have a good feeling about this."

"Yeah, me too," he said, although in all honesty, he had a terrible feeling of dread growing in his stomach. Ever since Lorelai's emotional outburst and breakdown following her first visit to the fertility doctor, he had felt a little responsible for her depressed state. Certainly, she did her best to hide how upset she felt, but Luke had always harbored a sixth sense regarding her moods. And it saddened him to know that all of this had come about because of him.

He was the one who brought up the idea of trying for children, even before their official wedding ceremony. And because of his request, a woman who had always prided herself on being a good, conscientious mother had grown to doubt not only her body but her own value in that respect. Luke could see it in her eyes periodically – the self blame and naked fear. It pained him to know that he had caused those feelings. And no matter what it took, he would do anything in his power to see her happy again.

* * *

As Sookie considered their wedding shower to be a sort of dress-rehearsal for their actual wedding, Miss Patty's studio was filled with food and decorations galore on the following Friday. They had considered having it outside, but the cold and snow had driven them indoors, much to everyone's benefit as Kirk announced that he did not have enough room to adequately exhibit his newly acquired exotic dancing skills. 

"Lorelai, dear, I just got your invitation," Miss Patty said by way of greeting. "I am _so _looking forward to it. Its about time you two kids finally tied the knot." She winked at Luke to demonstrate her point.

"Thanks, Patty," she answered, before getting swept into another congratulatory hug.

"Suga', I am so happy for you. Well, for both of you's. Not too much longer, and I think you're really going to make it this time!" Babette said cheerfully. Morey nodded in agreement, before they moved on.

"Mom, look at this place," Rory said in awe as she made her way into the densely packed room. April trailed behind her, as she had been picked up by her step-sister on the way into town. Balloons and streamers decorated every available inch, and nearly every surface was covered in mouth-watering appetizers.

"Hey, kid, you made it!" Lorelai exclaimed, throwing her arms around her daughter, who had just returned from her European vacation the day before.

"Would I miss this? Hey, Luke!"

"Hi, Rory, April," he smiled at them both, glad to be out of the center of attention.

"Hey," she answered cheerfully, obviously enjoying the hubbub and excitement of the party. "I think I'm going to check out that mountain of gifts you have over there."

By the time everyone had found and congratulated the happy couple, the party was in full swing. Sookie moved non-stop, checking on food and making sure things were running smoothly. But upon actually seeing Luke and Lorelai, she found herself squealing in anticipation of the 'big day.'

"Oh, I cannot wait to see you two get married!" she said, actually jumping up and down a little as she did so.

"Sook, hon, calm down. Breath or you're going to pass out," Lorelai advised.

"Okay," she said, putting a hand across her chest. "I think I'm okay now."

"Sookie, the party's beautiful. Thank you so much. I couldn't ask for a better wedding gift."

"Oh, this isn't your gift, silly," she said dismissively. "Michel? Where's Michel? Oh, there he is. Michel, come here!"

The harassed-looking Frenchman approached carrying a rectangular shaped gift.

"I cannot believe she made me come to this theng," he whined. "There are too many people, and they all look like they are out of the cast of Ze Beverly Hillbilliez."

"Thank you for coming, Michel," Lorelai said genuinely, reaching out to give him a hug. The touch surprised him, and the look that passed across his face for half a second seemed to show a deep level of true affection.

But as she let him go, Michel merely dabbed at the corner of his eyes and handed her the present. "Zis is for you," he told her.

"Its from both of us," Sookie advised.

"Oh, should we open it now or wait?" Lorelai asked.

Sookie added, "Definitely open it now."

Lorelai glanced at Luke before giving into temptation and ripping the paper off. But once she did and recognized the item in her hands, her face was a picture of confusion.

"Its... the registry book from the inn," she noted, flipping open the first few pages to make sure. "Um... thanks?"

"Look at today's date," Sookie told her. Lorelai jumped to the corresponding page, although it took her a moment to realize what her friend was trying to show her.

"January fifth, two thousand seven. Lorelai Gilmore and Luke Danes. Room three." She looked up and directly into Luke's eyes, which flashed with instant understanding. Then she turned back to Sookie and Michel. "You booked me room three? How did you do that? I thought we had reservations set until the end of time."

"Well, the couple who reserved it backed out at the last minute, so Michel sort of... lost the stand-by list. We figured... you know, as a sort of early wedding, late Christmas present, it might be nice," Sookie said, then added pointedly, "And you know, it is the _best _room at the inn."

"Thank you both," Lorelai said sincerely. "You're so good to me."

"Jeez," Luke muttered into her ear. "Does everyone know about room three?"

"Babe, every couple in the state knows about room three," she said seriously.

"You don't actually think that's going to work, do you?" he asked.

"Only one way to find out..."

* * *

"I can't believe we're doing this here," Luke grumbled as she led him by the hand up the stairs of the Dragonfly. They had walked over immediately after the party, Lorelai intent on getting her full night's worth of usage from the room. 

"You could have said 'no'," she told him.

"Yeah, right. Like saying 'no' to the mob. Besides, you'd just play your slave card."

"Oh! Good idea," she purred excitedly. "But I think I'll save it for when I have a less natural advantage over you."

In truth, neither held any special belief as to the urban mythical status of the Dragonfly's corner room. After all, it was _just _a room, like any of the others. And rooms could not help with conception any more than burning incense, reading tea leaves, or standing on one's head.

But still, it made them both a little hopeful.

"Wow," Luke said as she unlocked the door and tugged him inside. As nicely decorated as the room was (Lorelai did a good job on all the rooms), it just seemed so anticlimactic. "I was expecting... more."

"Its a room in my inn. There's a bed, a chair, a bathroom. What were you expecting? Champaign fountain? Chandelier?" Shaking her head slightly, she added, "And you've been in here before. You fixed that window."

"I know."

"So..." She paused, looking around the room before she spotted some candles. "Aha. Maybe this will do a little for the atmosphere."

Lorelai carefully lit the candles and turned out the lights before putting on a bit of light jazz music that had been left in the small CD player in the corner.

"Better?" she asked, turning back to him.

"Yeah," he said, and she noticed that his breath had caught in his throat a little at the sight of her in candle light. Giving him a devilishly wicked smile, she pushed him back to sit on the bed as she remained standing in the space between his legs, allowing her hands to brush across his shoulders and unbutton the collar of his shirt.

"So Kirk didn't do that strip-tease tonight like he promised," Lorelai pouted. "I'm disappointed. Aren't you?"

"Not... really," Luke mustered, although he thought his brain had begun to malfunction at the word 'strip.'

"Not even a... little?" she inquired, rubbing gentle circles across the skin she had exposed as she pulled back his shirt. "I think the idea has a lot of merit."

Luke blinked at her in a haze of growing desire and confusion. "We still talking about Kirk?"

"Nope."

"Then yeah, lots of merit," he agreed instantly.

"Glad you feel that way..."

Having completely unbuttoned his shirt, she stepped back so he would have a better view of her dress. It was the one he had bought for her when they went dancing at that fancy Hartford restaurant. She used the length and the way it hugged her body to her advantage, showing off her long, sensuous legs as she put one foot on the bed beside him, then reached down to unbuckle her heel.

Lorelai moved with care and deliberation as she took off the shoe, then her stocking, purposely bumping into Luke as he watched her in fascination. She repeated the procedure with her other shoe and stocking on the opposite side, this time leaning on Luke for 'balance' as she did so.

"Do you have any idea what the sight of you in this shirt does to me," she sighed as she stopped to rest in his lap, her hands busily exploring his chest, his stomach, every patch of warm skin they could find.

"I'm beginning to," Luke said as he reached up an arm to brush the side of her face. He leaned in to kiss her, but she backed away from him teasingly.

"Not done yet," Lorelai admonished him. Sliding further onto his lap, she peeled off his shirt completely, using the friction of their close contact to heighten the intensity of the moment. But sensing that he was growing restless, she allowed her hands to travel the length of each of his well-muscled arms, resisting the temptation to kiss and explore what he normally kept hidden under long sleeves. She took each of his hands in hers, then twisted around so that his arms fully encircled her body, leaving their chests pressed firmly against each other with only the thin fabric of her dress separating them. "Unzip me?" she asked as she placed a kiss below his ear.

Luke did so awkwardly, having difficulty finding a zipper he could not see, even as she pressed her lips along the line of his jaw and down his neck. He groaned deeply as she nibbled at his skin, drawing a line of fiery warmth as she did so. He nearly lost all track of what he was doing. But after a few seconds more of desperate fumbling with the zipper, they both heard the tell-tale quiet whine of a thousand little teeth being separated.

Lorelai took this as her cue to stand up and back away slightly, just enough for him to enjoy the full view of her body but not so far that she was out of reach. With exquisite slowness and sensuality, she moved in time with the music floating through the air. And even though they had been together countless times and he had seen her body in a hundred different lights, she still took his breath away as she slid off the dress, letting it fall into a pool of silk at her feet.

She saw his restraint crumble completely even as she silently relinquished control of the situation, and he was off the bed in an instant, his arms back around her as though they were drawn there magnetically. He kissed her deeply, like a man gasping for breath, his hands moving feverishly down her back and along her body. All other considerations were forgotten except for the necessity of losing their remaining clothing and finding their way back to the bed.

They spent the night immersed in a slow, passionate exploration of each other. In some ways, it felt like the first time, all breathless anticipation and nervous excitement. They gave themselves over to pure sensation, ignoring for a time the mechanics of position and duration. It was all about touch, and taste, and sight, and how pleasurable each could be in their own right.

Ultimately, whether it was the room or the candles or the silent permission they both gave themselves just enjoy the experience, they fell asleep wrapped in a cocoon of exhausted satisfaction.


	15. Finding It

**Chapter 15: Finding It**

The rest of January sped by in a blur of post-holiday activity and pre-wedding madness. Lorelai could not find enough time to think, let alone to worry about what effect their night in room three may have had. She did occasionally find herself wondering about it, usually late in the evenings when she sat at the counter in the diner, waiting for Luke to close up. But after the emotional let-downs of the past, she refused to focus on it too much. Instead, she allowed herself be distracted by the man who had always had the uncanny knack for capturing her attention.

"So, you need to go for the final fitting of your tux and pick up the rings," she told him as she read off the list of wedding plans on one such evening. "And I'm going to call the flower shop, make sure they didn't burn down or anything since the last time I talked to them."

"Did you finally pick out a dress?" Luke asked, knowing that she had continued to waver between two choices long past the point of good sense.

Lorelai nodded happily. "Yeah, and I have the final fitting in a few days. I think you'll like it. But you don't get to see it before the wedding. Not gonna make that mistake twice," she muttered.

"What do you mean? I liked the dress you had before... well, you know." He began to stammer uncomfortably at the unwelcome mention of their first attempt at the June 3rd wedding. "Your first dress. I liked your first dress."

"Well, you better like my new dress too," Lorelai told him. "But you don't get to see it until February 25th."

"Why, cause its supposedly bad luck? What, you're suddenly buying into all these superstitions?" he said contemptuously. "Can't see the bride before the wedding. Have to wear something old, something new, something blue, and something else..."

"Borrowed," Lorelai filled in helpfully, as she watched him wind up for a well-needed rant.

"Don't walk under ladders, or break a mirror, or let black cats cross your path, or wear white after labor day-"

"Actually, that's an etiquette thing, not a superstition," she interrupted.

"Well, whatever. I just think the whole thing is ridiculous. There is no such thing as this voodoo hocus-pocus nonsense, for wedding crap or otherwise. Its all just a ruse to get people to conform to old traditions that no longer have a reason for existing. You know why they probably didn't want the groom seeing the bride before the wedding? Because there were arranged marriages, and the families didn't want Bob to take one look at Nancy and head for the hills. And that doesn't even apply anymore! So what justification do we have for sticking to these traditions? Bad luck! I'm telling you, it doesn't exist."

"Really?" Lorelai asked, incredulous. "You don't believe in bad luck? Seriously Luke, it took us eight years to get together. And then, after everything that's happened with us, with April, with the wedding, and-" She lowered her voice, "Doctor Johnson – you don't believe in bad luck?"

"I didn't say that. I said, I don't believe bad luck is caused by this superstitious nonsense, like seeing you in your dress before the wedding. Bad luck is just that – bad luck. There is no cause or reason for it. If it were, it wouldn't be bad luck. It would be cause and effect."

"Wow," she marveled sarcastically. "So, we cause all the bad things that happen to us? We bring them on ourselves by our own stupidity and bad choices? Yeah, that is so much more comforting than the notion of just plum bad luck."

"That's not what I'm saying. Yeah, there's bad luck. But it isn't caused..." Sighing heavily, he held up his hands in defeat. "You know what, nevermind. Believe what you want."

She smiled broadly at his surrender. "You know you just jinxed us with all this talk about bad luck, don't you? If it rains on February 25th, it'll be all your fault."

"Lorelai, its February. If it does rain, it'll snow. And secondly, the wedding's gonna be at the church, which is in doors, so it won't matter either way."

"Would you stop talking about it?" she implored, half in amusement and half in total seriousness. "We're cursed enough already."

"We are not cursed." The very notion was ridiculous. But looking at Lorelai, he noticed that despite her typical jovial and mocking nature, she seemed to legitimately believe it. "You don't actually think we're _cursed_?"

"Well, I don't know," she admitted. "But it sure seems that way. I mean, there's bad luck and then there's _bad luck_. And like you said, sometimes people bring it on themselves by what they do. Maybe we or... one of us sort of... caused all this bad luck?"

He sighed again, knowing that she was referring to herself, and said firmly, "Lorelai, sometimes things just happen. Sure, some of it we contribute to, but some of it really is just bad luck. No rhyme or reason for it, it just happens, and its no one's fault."

"I suppose," Lorelai allowed, but there was residual sadness in her voice. "I guess I just wish things didn't have to be so hard all the time." They both knew what she was talking about. It was the subject they had steadfastly avoided since seeing the negative pregnancy tests.

"If everything came easy, we wouldn't appreciate it as much," he pointed out, and he could tell the mood had been lightened by the answering smirk on her face.

"Well, if I'd have known you would have appreciated me more, I would have played harder to get," Lorelai told him.

"Trust me – you were hard enough to get," Luke stated. "And I do appreciate you."

She loved it when he got all 'mushy' and grinned at him in response. "I appreciate you, too."

"So, tux and rings?"

"Yep," Lorelai confirmed. "Oh, and don't forget, you need a man-of-honor."

"Its called a 'best man,' Lorelai."

"Whatever. Kirk says he's still available."

"I'll keep that in mind," he told her with feigned seriousness. "You ready to go?"

"Yep."

He turned out the lights to the diner and locked the door behind them while Lorelai stood looking out at the square. It had been an unusually warm winter, probably one of the hottest on record. So while they had encountered a few snow flurries over Christmas, the ground seemed oddly empty without the thin white blanket so reminiscent of winter.

"Think it's gonna snow?" he asked her, knowing full well that the meteorologists on television had nothing on Lorelai's innate barometer.

"Not yet," she said quietly. "But soon."

* * *

"Lorelai, would you stop fidgeting?" her mother said sternly as she stood to one side of the seamstress, examining the wedding dress she was wearing. 

"You try holding still for five hours, Mom," she grumbled back irritably before glancing at her two 'bridesmaids' who were enduring similar fates.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. It hasn't been five hours, and if you had been eating right, the dress would fit properly."

"I haven't gained any weight," Lorelai said defensively, glancing down at the dress. The movement caused the seamstress to shoot her a look of warning.

Emily responded, "No, you've lost weight. And now its too loose. I swear, Lorelai, most of the women in the country would pay good money to have your metabolism. You eat nothing but junk food and coffee, and you're losing weight."

"She's been under a lot of stress, Grandma," Rory piped in defensively.

"Well, if she hadn't put off all these wedding details to the last minute, maybe she wouldn't be so stressed," Emily answered.

"I'm standing right here," Lorelai complained. "And the wedding is completely under control."

"Whatever you say. Of course, I wouldn't know anything about it. You only let me help with certain portions of the planning," her mother grumbled quietly. "Like I'm some pushy wedding planner liable to take over the whole thing."

"Well, as much as you bear a striking resemblance to Jennifer Lopez," she began, "I have this under control. I do have some experience with weddings."

"Oh, that's right. I forgot. First there was the wedding with Max, then your first wedding to Luke that fell through..."

"We have weddings at the Dragonfly all the time, Mom," Lorelai said in annoyance. "And before that, at the Independence Inn."

April, who stood beside Rory in her matching floor-length sapphire bridesmaid dress, leaned over to her step-sister and asked quietly, "Do they always fight like this?"

Rory smiled in amusement. "Oh, this isn't fighting. You haven't seen fighting."

"Mom, look at Rory," she heard her mother say in a blatant distraction technique. "Isn't she pretty in her dress? And look at April. Aren't they both pretty?"

Emily looked at them both appraisingly, and April found herself shifting nervously in the heels she had picked out but had not had time to practice walking in. "They both look very nice," she said evenly, "But I think a lighter color would be a better balance for a winter wedding."

"I like their dresses," Lorelai stated. "Besides, the color suits them better."

Her mother frowned in disapproval but said nothing else on the subject. The four of them had spent most of the day finalizing various wedding plans and 'bonding,' as Emily put it. And besides a few choice remarks on certain aspects of the wedding, things had gone relatively smoothly.

In fact, the whole afternoon felt perfect. Since her secret June wedding at the Vineyard, Lorelai had allowed herself little time to really reflect on the way her life had changed. But with Valentine's Day rapidly approaching (and her wedding a week and a half later), she was reminded of where she had been a year ago. And how far she had come.

"Lorelai, how are you going to do your hair?" she heard April ask her, and glancing at the girl, she was struck by how much Luke's daughter had become a part of their lives in so short a time. Like it should have been all along. And she was not just there as 'Luke's daughter,' but as a part of their family.

Family. For so long it had just been her and Rory, it suddenly felt strange to have so many others to include in that description. Her mother and father, finally in her life on a permanent basis. Luke, and his accompanying relatives: April, Liz, TJ, and though it pained her to admit it, even Jess. And hopefully, whoever else might come along.

"I think I'll wear it down," Lorelai told her, then broke into a devilish grin. "Although, I'm considering doing those pink and purple streaks again."

"Oh, be serious, Lorelai!" her mother said, the rolling of her eyes evident in her voice.

"I think streaks would look good," Rory weighed in. "Hey, what about some spikes in the front?"

"Spikes, very cool," Lorelai decreed. "And beads?"

"To match the streaks!"

April looked on in bewilderment as the eldest Gilmore female just stood, arms folded, in a stance of suffering endurance. In many ways Lorelai and Rory acted like sisters rather than mother and daughter. And as close as her relationship was with her own mother, April enjoyed being a part of the vivacious, care-free world that enveloped her when she was with the Gilmore girls.

After another hour of fittings, the four left the bridal shop in search of sustenance, finally settling upon lunch at a small restaurant Emily loved.

"So, what are you and Luke doing for Valentine's day, Mom?" Rory asked, slightly depressed that she would be separated from her own boyfriend on the day for lovers.

"We don't have anything special planned. With everything so busy lately, its really been the furthest thing from our minds," she said.

"Just be careful about setting a precedent," Emily warned knowingly. "With your wedding so close in time, you have to make sure he doesn't end up combining Valentine's Day into your anniversary every year."

"Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem," Lorelai said, thinking of her actual wedding date in June. Although, she supposed it could be fun to celebrate two anniversaries. Although, her mother was right about the possibility of their "second" wedding anniversary being subsumed into Valentine's Day. _Guess I'll have to make sure Valentine's Day sticks out_, she decided to herself.

By the time she brought her attention back to her mother, the conversation had moved on with her mother saying, "So, tell me April, have you thought about where you want to go to college yet? You know how much Rory loves Yale. Maybe she can show you around sometime..."

* * *

Valentine's Day dawned bright and early on a Wednesday morning. Or it would, once the sun had arisen, Lorelai decided. It was six o'clock in the morning, and even though she had yet to drink her first cup of coffee, she was fully dressed and ready for the day. Because, as the old saying went, one had to get up pretty early in the morning to get that worm. (Or something like that.) And while worms were a traditional part of the activity she had planned, she hoped that she forgo that particular tradition. 

Tiptoeing up the stairs, she poked her head into the bedroom, hearing her husband still snoring softly from the bed.

"Wake up, sleepy-head!" she exclaimed as she burst into the room.

"Lorelai?" Luke asked, his voice a mixture of alarm and consternation over having been woken from a sound sleep.

"Time to get up," she told him firmly as she plopped herself down next to him.

Clutching one side of his head in that 'what's going on?' stance, he looked at the clock on the bedside table. "Lorelai, its six in the morning," he complained. "What are you doing up this early?"

"Its Valentine's Day," she said excitedly.

"And more importantly, why are you waking me up this early in the morning?"

"Oh, come on. I happen to know for a fact that you get up this early all the time when Caesar's not opening the diner."

Luke had managed to struggle to a sitting position and some semblance of wakefulness as he asked, "Yeah, and you're making me get up when _I don't _have to open the diner because...?"

Lorelai smiled in a manner that, had he yet achieved a tighter grasp on consciousness, would have reminded him of an expression involving cats and canaries.

"Its a surprise," she announced eagerly, then began to tug on his arm "Now come on, you need to get dressed. Valentine's Day isn't going to last all day, you know."

"Its not?" he challenged half-heartedly as he followed her to the closet. "I don't know how I let you force me into this stuff."

"The force is with me, and it can have a strong influence on the weak minded," Lorelai said with all due seriousness.

And for the first time, Luke noticed her outfit. Lifting an eyebrow, he commented, "I have a bad feeling about this."

* * *

An hour later, they found themselves at the lake as the sun began to peek out between the trees, beginning it's gradual climb up the horizon. While Luke's father's boat was still not quite seaworthy, Lorelai had managed to rent a small outboard vessel from Kirk that was just perfect for what she had in mind. 

"I can't believe you wanted to go fishing on Valentine's Day," Luke said in amazement. Before waking him, she had managed to load his truck with all the necessary supplies: poles, tackle boxes, nets, and food. All they had to do was drive to the lake.

Lorelai shrugged, having abandoned her fishing pole for the more worthwhile pursuit of clutching a travel mug of coffee she had thought to bring. "I thought it might be fun for you."

"It is," he confirmed. "But you hate fishing."

"That's not true," she said in mock indignation. "I love fishing."

"Except for the part where you actually catch the fish?"

"Exactly! Besides, _you _like fishing, and I like hanging out with you," she said, her words an echo of something he had often said to her since they first started dating.

"Still, not the most romantic way to spend the day..."

Grinning at him impishly, she carefully slid forward in the boat so that their knees were touching. She looked around at the empty lake, framed by beautiful trees and a picturesque sunrise. "Who says?" she asked seductively before bringing her lips to his in a chaste kiss.

"Lorelai..." he said warningly as they pulled apart.

"What? Afraid of rocking the boat a little? I hope not, 'cause you're marrying me in eleven days. And that calls for some _serious _boat rocking."

"You mean I'm marrying you _again_," Luke pointed out.

"Well, you're marrying me for the first time in Connecticut. Just want to make sure we don't fall through any loopholes," she said. "Other states don't always accept Massachusetts marriage licenses-"

"Unless you've been hiding something from me all these years, I don't think we have to worry about that," he noted.

Lorelai continued on, undeterred, "And twenty years from now, I don't want to find out our marriage license is invalid and we've been living in sin. Cause then we'll have to run down to the courthouse and get married _that day_, so we'll have the same anniversary-"

Luke utilized the one method he knew best to shut Lorelai up: he kissed her again, this time deeper and more passionately. And as they shifted to try and achieve a more comfortable position, the boat tilted dangerously to one side.

"Careful! You're going to tip us over!" Lorelai exclaimed as she ended the kiss, grabbing the sides for balance.

"What happened to 'don't be afraid to rock the boat'?" Luke demanded in amusement.

"Are you crazy? That water is freezing!"

He gave her a smug look. "Oh, I see. You're all talk," he noted casually in a challenging voice.

Lorelai pursed her lips in response, and he only had a second to prepare before she launched herself at him, nearly tipping the boat again in the process.

Needless to say, it turned out to be a very memorable Valentine's Day.

tbc...

* * *

**A/N:** I'm a southern girl, so forgive me if I'm going out on a limb with New England weather. And thank you for all the great reviews - they really make all the difference in providing motivation to write when real life gets in the way. As well, I know I left an open question in the last chapter (room three...), and I promise to answer that soon, probably in the next chapter or so as I wrap up the story. 


	16. Getting It

**A/N: **Sorry this chapter took longer than usual. Not quite the end, but I'm getting there. And I'm pushing Liz's pregnancy back a little for my own nefarious purposes. As well, all the wedding stuff is courtesy of my good friend Makita, who graciously provided me with some wonderful ideas when I asked her, "Hey, can you plan Luke and Lorelai's wedding for me?"

**Chapter 16: Getting It**

Seven days until her wedding to Luke. Seven days. That translated into exactly one week. Sunday, February 25, 2007. She would be - official, publicly, for all the world to see – Mrs. Lorelai Gilmore-Danes. Or maybe just Mrs. Lorelai Danes. She still had not decided.

And despite the fact that she and Luke had been married for close to eight months already, that they had practically been living together for two years, and that they had known each other for over a decade – despite all of that, she was nervous. Honest-to-God, sweaty palms, trembling knees, racing heart, starting-to-sympathize-with-that-Jennifer-Wilbanks-runaway-bride, nervous.

Not that she felt nervous about marrying Luke. No, that was the easy part. Hell, she had already done that. What really made her quake in her proverbial boots was the fact that in just over one week, she was going to stand up in front of her family and all her friends in the most beautiful dress she would ever wear and declare her undying affection and devotion to the one man she had ever truly loved.

The thought of it made her feel nauseated. Not the marrying Luke part, but rather the 'in front of everyone else' clause. Because even though they were already married and this wedding was just for show, this was _it _as far as every they knew was concerned. The day Lorelai Gimore finally decided to grow up and settle down, to marry that nice man everyone always knew was the 'one' for her. So why did she feel so utterly terrified?

"You okay?" Luke asked as he stood on the other side of the counter, watching her pick at the disgusting breakfast of bacon, eggs, and cheese grits he had made her.

Lorelai nodded, although not with her usual energy. "Yeah, just not feeling well," she complained.

"Not feeling well?" he repeated, seizing upon the words immediately.

"Yeah, just a little queasy," she confirmed. She felt slightly unnerved as he continued to stare at her, as though she had not fully answered his question. Then his unspoken meaning hit her, and she said, "Oh, it can't be that. I started my period yesterday."

"Oh. Well, maybe its just all the wedding excitement."

Lorelai saw her own disappointment reflected in his eyes. Even though they had both purposefully kept their hopes from getting too high, it just felt like another in a long series of emotional blows. She had almost not wanted to tell him at all about the arrival of her "Aunt Flo," which was once again late and surprisingly light. She supposed it had something to do with the hormones the doctor had prescribed her.

To make matters worse, Liz was past due and liable to go into labor any day. She had taken to waddling into the diner every afternoon for lunch, occasionally making an appearance at the Dragonfly. And in her highly pregnant and thus emotional state, she tended to focus on the more romantic aspects of relationships, quizzing Lorelai at length about the upcoming wedding.

"Its so great that the two of you are finally getting married!" Liz had told her the day before. "You know, I knew you were perfect for him the first time we met. Do you remember that? Where you thought I was Luke cause I was in his truck, and I thought you were his wife – oh, what was her name? I guess it doesn't matter. But this is so great! You two are going to be _so _happy together, just like me and TJ."

In the past week, Lorelai had received basically the same speech from not only Liz countless times, but from every town member that happened to cross her path. "You two were meant to be," came up a lot, as well as, "Oh, that Luke's had a thing for you since forever." Sometimes the well wishes were accompanied by a look of skepticism or guarded concern, as if they wondered whether Lorelai would skip town before the wedding again, like she had with Max. But aside from the occasional hint of trepidation from the likes of Miss Patty and Taylor, the town itself seemed to be preparing for the event of the season.

The town's growing anticipation served to make Lorelai even more nervous, which seemed to translate directly into the burgeoning nausea that was emanating from her stomach.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Luke asked her again, noticing that she had given up entirely on her breakfast.

"Yeah, I just... I wonder if I have some sort of twenty-four-hour bug or something," she suggested.

He was about to answer, but lost the chance when his sister entered the diner.

"Hey, big brother!" she exclaimed with much the same vigor and excitement as she usually did. As quirky as the woman was, no one ever doubted her level of affection for her sibling.

Luke nodded to her as Lorelai said, "Hey, Liz. Fancy seeing you here this morning."

"Yeah, I have a doctor's appointment later today, so I figured I'd come in early," the pregnant woman told them as she took the stool next to Lorelai. Glancing over at Lorelai's nearly untouched food, her eyes went wide with hunger. "Oh, that looks good."

"You want some?" Lorelai offered. "I don't think I can eat it."

"What's the matter?" Liz asked. "You sick or something?"

"Just not feeling well this morning," she said. At first, she had thought the growing nausea was merely a product of stress over the wedding. But Lorelai was beginning to wonder otherwise.

"You do look a little green around the gills. Maybe you should be the one going to the doctor," Liz joked.

"That's not a bad idea," Luke interjected, the concern evident in his eyes. "Whatever it is, you'll want to make sure its over by Sunday."

"If I'm still not feeling good this afternoon, I'll make an appointment," Lorelai promised. "But for right now, I really have to get to the inn."

"Call me if you need anything," he told her as he leaned across the counter to give her a kiss goodbye. But she held up a hand to ward him off.

"Careful," she warned. "If I'm contagious, you don't want to get it too." He frowned but did not complete the contact, instead giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Seriously," he said. "Call me."

An hour later, as she worked in her office at the inn, Lorelai still felt her stomach doing somersaults, even as her appetite made her regret missing breakfast. It seemed strange to feel so hungry and yet so completely queasy at the same time, so she went to the kitchen in search of something to bland to eat.

Sookie gave her a sprite and crackers to nibble on, cognizant of how miserable it felt to be under the weather. However, she also noticed that Lorelai seemed strangely preoccupied, more so than she would have expected from her friend, especially since her wedding was a week away.

"You have something on your mind?" she asked.

Lorelai shook her head, but the movement only served to set off the headache that had been threatening to accompany her upset stomach. "I'm fine, Sookie," she insisted.

"You just seem... distracted, is all," the cook pointed out. "Aren't you excited about the wedding?"

"I'm excited," Lorelai said without conviction.

"Nervous?" Sookie asked knowingly.

"Incredibly," she confessed.

Her friend giggled, having made that right of passage already in life and knowing how scary it could be. "You're going to be fine," she assured her. "You and Luke are perfect for each other."

"Oh, I'm not worried about Luke," Lorelai said. "He's probably the only thing I'm not worried about."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I don't know. I just... I kind of feel like everyone's watching me, waiting for me to screw this up somehow," she admitted quietly.

"Lorelai, honey, that's not true. No one thinks that. Everyone is just really happy that you two are finally going to tie the knot and settle down," Sookie said. "I mean, this day has been a long time coming, you know?"

"I know," Lorelai said. "Trust me, I know."

"Its sort of the end of the fairy tale for everyone, especially those of us who watched you two dance around each other for _so _many years," she droned. "And, we've all had to watch you go through your issues and see other people, break up, get back together, have fights, and so forth... So, if people are watching you, its because they want to make sure you're happy, Lorelai. Both of you."

Lorelai smiled as she wiped at the moisture that had begun to gather at the corner of her eyes. "That's really sweet," she said.

"Plus, if you bolt," Sookie added, "Miss Patty's offered a two hundred dollar reward for the first person who reports it."

In spite of herself, Lorelai laughed until the nausea forced her to stop. Sookie noticed her grimace of discomfort as she gingerly sipped her sprite. "You know, maybe you should go see a doctor," she suggested.

Lorelai sighed, the thought occurring to her as well. Perhaps she was suffering an adverse reaction to the hormonal medication she was on?

To placate Sookie and sooth her own concerns, she called Dr. Johnson when she returned to her office, hoping the fertility specialist would have a minute to discuss her problem. As luck would have it, the doctor was in.

"Well, Lorelai, you're probably right about the medication being the cause," he told her. "Nausea and vomiting are not uncommon side effects. But it could be something else, such as a virus. Tell you what, if you're not feeling better in a couple of days, make an appointment and come in to see me. Maybe we can figure out a different prescription to put you on."

Lorelai assured him that she would, but within an hour of hanging up the phone, she felt entirely better. Chalking it up to nerves, she went to scrounge up some real food from the kitchen and forgot entirely about it.

* * *

By the next day, however, the nausea had returned, and Lorelai felt certain it was coinciding with her daily medication. But rather than discontinue the hormone treatment, she chose to make an appointment with the doctor's office and suffered through the rest of the week. If nothing else, it took her mind off the stress of coordinating the hundred details left for their wedding. While Luke was supportive and helpful however he could be, some things were just never meant to be handled by men. 

"I think you should wear these. Diamonds go with anything," Liz advised as she helped Lorelai go through her jewelry in an attempt to pick something to wear at the wedding. She held up the diamond earrings and bracelet Luke had given her for Christmas. She agreed because although she preferred the necklace he had given her for Valentine's Day the year before, it did not quite go with her dress.

"So, I bet you can't wait for the big day," her sister-in-law said. "I know Luke's excited. Its like he's been walking on cloud nine all week."

"Really?" Lorelai asked, touched by the comment but surprised that she had not observed such behavior.

"Oh yeah. Every day when I come in and ask about you, his eyes just light up, like he can't wait to make you the 'little missus.'" Liz winked at her before her eyes went wide and she grabbed Lorelai's hand, putting it to her stomach even as she asked, "Oh, you want to feel her kicking?"

Where she touched Liz's belly she felt a tiny bump push out at her. It had been so long since she was pregnant with Rory, that the feeling surprised her. But the look of delight on Liz's face served as an unpleasant reminder of one inescapable reality: Lorelai was not pregnant. Pushing the thought away, she tried to focus on being happy for Luke's sister.

"Do you have a name picked out?" she asked.

Liz shrugged. "TJ wants to name her after his mother, but I can't imagine naming a kid 'Beatrice' today. I'm sure it was a nice name in its time, but I'd already had one kid getting into fights at school. It would be great if we could have just a sweet, smart kid that likes to read and doesn't get in trouble."

Lorelai smiled, as she had basically just described Rory and April both. "Well, by the feel of this kick, I'd say that she's going to be a bit of a spitfire," she commented.

"What about you?" Liz asked, switching gears. "Luke told me you two were trying for a kid. I guess no luck so far, but it'll happen eventually. So you think you want a boy this time?"

This time Lorelai shrugged, ignoring the terrible emptiness that gnawed at her whenever her and Luke's potential children were discussed. "Either way," she said. "A girl would be fine, too."

"Yeah," her sister-in-law agreed, "I don't think Luke cares either. I mean, he's got some of that 'want a son' male pride going on, but he'd be just as happy with a girl. Can't you just picture him holding a baby?"

"Yeah, I can." Lorelai smiled, and for once she did not feel the tell-tale prick of tears in her eyes.

"Well, whichever it is, he's going to be wrapped around that kid's little finger in no time."

"I think he's going to be wrapped around little Beatrice's finger," she said, giving Liz's stomach a small pat. "I know he's looking forward to being an uncle again."

"Really?" Liz said. "I hope so. I know when I got pregnant with Jess it was kind of a... surprise to everyone. And back then Luke wasn't big on kids, but now..."

"Just do me a favor?" Lorelai asked. "Teach him how to change diapers with this little one so I don't have to break him in later."

"Him and TJ both," she agreed. "Hey, do you have your dress? You totally have to put it on and let me see it with the jewelry."

Liz sounded like such a teenager at that moment, Lorelai could not help but be infected by her excitement. Besides, she had been fighting the urge to try on the dress again since getting it back from the seamstress, and this was as good of an excuse as any.

As she descended from the stairs some time later, Liz gave an appreciative sigh. "Oh, its beautiful, Lorelai."

Cut simply with smooth lines and heavy fabric, the dress was an off-white cream-color, strapless, and the bodice enhanced Lorelai's figure. As well, because they were having a winter wedding, her mother had talked her into long matching gloves that ended above her elbow. The veil was filmy and gossamer, making her hair look as though it were dusted with a thin layer of fresh snow.

"Luke is going to love it," Liz said authoritatively as she took in the dress. "And if you don't get pregnant on your wedding night, it won't be for lack of trying."

* * *

The soonest appointment Lorelai could get with Dr. Johnson was late Friday afternoon, and that only with a bit of desperate pleading with his secretary. Luke had wanted to go with her, but Caesar had to take off early with an unexpected family emergency, leaving him to cover the diner. She assured him that she would be fine on her own and that she would call him if anything came up. 

However, sitting alone in the empty waiting room once again, Lorelai found herself wishing he had been able to come with her. The nurse had made her pee in a cup, just to "run some tests," and Lorelai's anxiety grew as she waited for whatever results they may be able to give her.

"Lorelai?" Looking up, she saw that the doctor himself had come out to the waiting room to collect her. "Do you want to come back to my office?" he offered.

It was the first time she had ever seen his office, and it made her nervous to wonder why they were not meeting in one of the exam rooms, as they normally did. Lorelai's mind raced as she tried to make sense of the change of venue, even as she tried to assure herself that it may have nothing to do with anything. She was the last patient of the day, and perhaps his office was simply easier to-

"I'm sorry for making you wait so long, Lorelai," he told her. "But I had to have one of the nurses run your urine test, and sometimes those things take a little while." He paused for a long second, and Lorelai waited with growing impatience.

"As it turns out," he continued, "you're not going to need my services any longer. I'm giving you a list of a some good gynecologists I know." She blinked at him, uncomprehending, until he added, "Congratulations, Lorelai. You're pregnant."

"I'm pregnant..." She repeated the words as though their meaning were foreign to her, then demanded, "You're sure?"

"The test I had the nurse run is extremely accurate. Once you visit your OBGYN, they'll be able to do an ultrasound and try to figure out how far along you are."

"But... I started my period," Lorelai said. "Earlier this week. How am I...?"

"Was it a light period?" the doctor asked. Lorelai nodded, still confused. "That's not uncommon after you first get pregnant, especially considering the hormonal treatment you're on. In fact, I would say that part of your nausea – besides general morning sickness - is a result of taking the medication and the natural hormones now being produced by your body."

Although she heard words coming out of his mouth and knew that they had to have some kind of meaning, Lorelai could not get beyond what he had just told her. "So, I'm pregnant," Lorelai said again, still not quite believing the news.

Doctor Johnson simply smiled as he handed her a stack of papers. "You're pregnant," he confirmed. "I'm giving you some literature as well as that list of names. I'm also going ahead and prescribing you a general prenatal vitamin, just until you go in for your first appointment. And please, feel free to call me if you have any questions or concerns."

As he stood up to escort her back to the waiting room, Lorelai found herself bursting into tears. The emotions flowed through her in unstoppable waves: first happiness, then relief, and finally the overwhelming desire to tell Luke. Without a second thought, she threw her arms around Dr. Johnson in a surprise hug, and he patted her back gently.

"Are you going to be okay to drive?" he asked, partially in amusement and partially in seriousness.

Lorelai pulled back, wiping at her eyes as she grinned in embarrassment. "Yeah, I'm fine," she said. "Thank you so much, doctor."

"My pleasure. You let me know how it goes, okay?"

He took her as far as the waiting room, and Lorelai had barely gotten out into the hall before she had her cell phone open and dialing Luke's number at the diner. Unfortunately, Lane answered, sounding very busy and overwhelmed. She was able to get out something about Luke, Liz, and the hospital before hanging up, and Lorelai instantly connected the dots. Liz had gone into labor and Luke was taking her to the hospital.

Making her way to her car, Lorelai decided to meet them there.


	17. Keeping It

**A/N: **Sorry this chapter has taken so long. I originally intended to just finish the story and post the rest all at once, but it's turning out somewhat longer than I anticipated. So I'm posting both chapters 17 and 18 at the same time (trying to keep the torches and pitchforks at bay, LoL). Chapter 19 should follow in a few days, and after that probably a brief epilogue. I'm very touched by everyone's reviews, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

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* * *

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**Chapter 17: Keeping It**

Because she was already in Hartford, Lorelai made it to the hospital before Luke and Liz and was waiting outside the ER when they arrived. An orderly brought out a wheelchair for Liz as Luke helped her out of the truck, and Lorelai followed them inside.

"Where's TJ?" she asked Luke as a nurse took Liz to the maternity ward, leaving her and Luke to fill out the accompanying paperwork.

"Not sure," he said, the stress evident in his voice. "Liz said something about him being out on a construction job. And his cell is going straight to voicemail, so he must have let the battery go dead."

Luke's obvious disapproval of TJ was just an extension of his concern over his sister. No matter how many centuries women had been giving birth, nothing quite prepared a man for the panicked phone call from a woman that began with, "My water just broke..."

"How far apart were her contractions?" Lorelai asked. Luke stared at her blankly. "Her contractions? Were you timing them?"

"I was driving!" he exclaimed. "The traffic into Hartford on a Friday afternoon is horrible. And Liz kept screaming and asking where TJ was! She cussed out at least three different cars she thought were going too slowly. And she wouldn't put on her seat belt, so I kept having visions of us getting into a wreck and her going through the front window. How was I supposed to be timing anything in all that?"

"Okay," she said carefully, hoping to calm him down. "I was just asking. Sounds like she's coming along pretty fast."

"You think that's a bad sign?" Luke asked, suddenly nervous.

"Only if you hadn't gotten her here," Lorelai assured him. "And you did, so everything's going to be fine."

Luke nodded, not quite placated, but calm enough to begin thinking rationally. "Hey, what are you doing here anyway?"

"I called the diner and Lane said you brought Liz to the hospital, so I figured I'd meet you here."

"Oh yeah, you were at the doctor's office," he realized. "So how did it go? Did he put you on something different?"

"Actually-"

Before Lorelai could complete her thought, a nurse called out, "Luke Danes?" They both turned to look at her, and she waved him over. "Your sister would like to see you."

Luke looked back at Lorelai, and she nodded for him to go. "I'll wait here."

"Come with me," he implored. "You'll probably be more of a comfort to her than I will."

"You sure?" she asked, not wanting to intrude on a family moment but seeing the naked fear in Luke's eyes.

His only answer was to take her hand and lead her behind him as they followed the nurse back to Liz's room. She suddenly remembered as they walked down the corridor how much Luke hated hospitals and how nervous they made him feel. Besides, the last time they had been there was after April's accident. Gently squeezing his hand in comfort, she hoped that after Liz gave birth he would start to have some good memories associated with hospitals.

She desperately wanted to tell Luke her news, but it was clear that with everything going on, it would have to wait until later. Besides, this was the type of thing she wanted to tell him alone, someplace quiet where he could focus all his attention on her. It may have been a selfish wish, but after everything they had been through, Lorelai wanted it to be their moment, not a hastily shared bit of gossip in a hallway.

* * *

The delivery itself turned out to be long and arduous, lasting through the night and into the next morning. Liz did very well, especially after she realized that screaming at the top of her lungs was not nearly as therapeutic as throwing ice chips, the latter idea being pointed out to her by Lorelai. Luke held her hand until TJ arrived, and he was about to vacate his position when TJ subsequently passed out cold on the hospital floor. 

Thus, while several nurses took TJ to another room to lie down (and examine him for a concussion), Luke continued the responsibility of encouraging his sister. And every time Lorelai tried to sneak out to give her some privacy, Liz would call her back in and insisted that she get her more ice chips. Or promise her that it would end eventually.

It was a very long night.

Thankfully, by the next morning TJ had regained consciousness and after a firm talking-to from Luke, held it together enough to stand by his wife during the last few intense hours of labor. And by the time that tiny little wail pierced the hospital room, everyone involved was exhausted. 

"It's a girl," the doctor announced. TJ cut the cord, and the child was cleaned up before being handed to Liz. Exhausted and flushed, she beamed at the newborn, her eyes full of love and hope as her husband looked over her shoulder.

"Hi, baby," she whispered. "I'm your Mama." Turning to TJ, she said, "And that's your Papa." She nodded to her other side where her brother and Lorelai were standing and introduced them in turn. "That's your Uncle Luke and soon-to-be Aunt Lorelai. And we're all so happy to see you."

Without taking his eyes off of Liz, TJ, and the baby, Luke simply reached down and took Lorelai's hand in his, carefully interlacing their fingers. She glanced at him, wanting so much to tell him that in less than nine months that would be _them_ sitting there, staring in fascination at _their _baby. But it was Liz's moment, her time to shine and bask in that glow, the reward of so many months of pregnancy and so many hours of labor.

Unfortunately, Lorelai's cell phone chose that moment to vibrate in her purse, catching her attention and shifting it away from the vision in front of her. Recognizing the number, she took the phone into the hall to answer it, not wanting to disturb Liz and TJ.

The conversation was short and disconcerting as it threw a proverbial wrench into their wedding plans. Reverend Skinner wanted her to know that due to an accident with some construction workers the previous day, part of the roof of the church had collapsed, making it absolutely impossible for them to have their wedding there any time in the near future. He would still be available to perform the ceremony, but a different location would have to be secured. In one day.

Lorelai immediately called Sookie, who assured her that they could do it at the Dragonfly, but pointed out that it would have to be an outdoor wedding, and it would be awfully cold unless they had space heaters, which there would be little room for...

She had almost begun to panic when Luke came into the hall looking for her. She immediately told him about the collapsed roof on the church, and their emergency change of venue, as well as Sookie's suggestion.

"Why don't we have it in the square?" he said.

"The square? You mean the town square?" she asked, incredulous. She thought they had dismissed the idea of that particular location for the wedding long ago.

"Yeah, that way we'll have plenty of room for heaters, and we can even set up some tents for the food if you want. We don't have to use the pavilion. Maybe we could bring out the chuppah or something..."

"The chuppah," she repeated, smiling at the thought. "Yeah, I like that idea."

"Besides, the weather man said it will be clear and cold. But not freezing," he added, "so we shouldn't have to worry about weather."

"Okay," Lorelai agreed, trying to think of everything that needed to be done. They would need heaters and chairs and permission to use the square, at least for starters. Between the two of them, they quickly divided up the plans, leaving Luke with the phone calls to Jess and getting Liz and TJ home. Lorelai would call the rental places and return to the town, find Taylor, and make sure he would not prohibit them from using the town square. Luke considered this last detail unnecessary, but she insisted, not wanting their wedding to be ruined by 'a petty dictator with delusions of grandeur.'

But Lorelai knew that before she left, she had to tell Luke her news. The only thing that had kept her silent for so long was the screaming and general distraction caused by Liz's labor, not to mention the undesirable location of a hospital hallway or waiting room.

"Hey, there's something I want to tell you," she managed to get out before they both heard Liz calling him from within the hospital room. To make matters worse, as Luke instinctively turned his head in the direction his name had come from, a patient was wheeled by that seemed to be suffering from a particularly bloody head-wound. The sight caused him to grimace involuntarily, and Lorelai felt sure he would have embarked upon a fresh 'hospital rant' if Liz's voice had not continued to call for him.

"Hold on just a second," he told Lorelai as he turned back to the hospital room. "Let me see what she wants."

Lorelai followed him back inside and over to the bed, where Liz was busily engaged in cooing at her new daughter.

"You beckoned?" Luke said.

"Here, I want you to hold her," his sister told him, offering out the tiny pink bundle.

For a second, Luke balked at the request, uncertainty anchoring his feet to the ground. Noticing his stunned reaction and realizing that he had likely held few babies in his life, Lorelai gave him a gentle push forward. The movement brought him out of his temporary deer-the-in-headlights stance as he took the intervening steps to the bed.

"Are you sure?" he asked, even as she put the baby in his arms, making sure that the head was supported and that Luke had a firm hold on her. As he looked down at the miniature person sleeping in his arms, he could articulate only one thought. "Wow."

Lorelai smiled as she studied both the baby and Luke's face. The initial terror still remained, but his expression betrayed the wonder experienced in holding his niece for the first time, so perfectly beautiful and new to the world. And after a moment, he looked up and caught Lorelai's gaze, his eyes conveying to her a hundred different emotions.

"See? He's a natural," Liz proclaimed.

"Hey, I could hold her, too," TJ argued in his own defense. "I'm just still feeling a little unsteady, and I don't want to drop her."

Lorelai's phone began to buzz again, reminding her that there were emergencies to take care of and alternate plans to be made. Luke, however, seemed completely hypnotized by the baby girl in his arms. She noted with amusement that she had never seen him quite so openly infatuated, not even with April.

"Hey," she whispered to him. "I have to go run take care of this stuff. But call me when you get a chance, okay?" He nodded, but she was not certain he had heard her. "Please, it's important."

Luke nodded again, this time looking up at her. His expression of pride was so profound that she almost slipped and told him right then. But again she stopped herself, knowing that TJ and Liz were just a few feet away and watching them closely. She still wanted a private moment between herself and her husband, away from hospitals and emergencies and distractions. A setting where he could put his arms around her, and kiss her, and they could celebrate without other people's eyes on them.

"I will," he promised.

She said her goodbyes and congratulations to Liz and TJ before slipping out of the room, anxious to take care of the things that needed to be done for the next day. Her wedding. Their wedding. For a moment, it seemed so silly. It wasn't even _their _wedding – it was her parents', and his sister's, and the town's wedding. They had already had their wedding months before, not just an official exchange of 'I Do's, but a heartwarming union of their lives and a dedication of their love. As cliched as it sounded, Lorelai knew that she was already living her 'happily ever after,' her _middle_. Everything else seemed redundant.

* * *

Moving the wedding from the damaged church to the square was not necessarily a difficult task, only time consuming. Taylor put up a fuss about the lack of a week's notice to use the public space, followed by a need for reassurances that the evening wedding would not disturb any of the local residents. 

"Taylor, Luke and I are getting married. _Everyone _in town is coming! You RSVPed weeks ago. Even Mrs. Kim said she'd stop by for the ceremony, and she thinks I'm going to hell for having the wedding on a Sunday."

"I don't know..." he hesitated. He said it in that annoying sing-song manner, like he was waiting for her to sweeten the deal somehow.

"What do you want, Taylor?"

He frowned at her blunt question, but replied, "I want you to stop bringing food to town meetings."

Lorelai paused for a second, dumbfounded. "Seriously?" she demanded. "You're seriously going to keep me and Luke from getting married in the town square tomorrow unless I promise to lay off my red vines and chinese food habit at your precious town meetings?"

"Well, its distracting, and sometimes the stuff you bring really smells," he complained. "Too much garlic, I think..."

"Taylor!"

"Oh all right, fine. Three town meetings without food, and I'll give you the permit to use the square."

Lorelai glared at him. "One town meeting," she countered.

"Two," he insisted. "And I better not see so much as a stick of gum going into your mouth."

"Dirty!" she said, giving him an exaggerated wink.

"Lorelai!"

"Fine, you have a deal. Two town meetings, no food. But I don't want to hear a single complaint tomorrow from you about the wedding."

They sealed the deal with a handshake, and Lorelai continued on her way to finish with finalizing the wedding arrangements.

* * *

By later that afternoon, Lorelai had managed to take care of all the last-minute details. She had checked in on Sookie, who was cooking up a storm at the inn, as well as Lane, who she had put in charge of music. However, she was surprised to see Rory waiting for her when she got back to her house. 

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "I thought you and Logan were driving in tomorrow morning."

"Logan is, but I decided to drop by early. You know what tomorrow is, don't you?"

Lorelai paused in confusion. Had she missed something? "Bono's birthday?"

"Mom..."

"Well, I'm getting married... again."

Rory nodded, "And that makes tonight your bachelorette party."

She instantly threw up her hands. "Oh, no! I don't need a batchelorette party, 'cause, see, I'm not a bachelorette. Thus, unnecessary."

"Yeah, but no one else knows that. Besides, we didn't get to throw you one the last time."

"Rory, Liz just had her baby. Luke and I were at the hospital all night," Lorelai told her. "And the roof caved in at the church, so I've spent all day dealing with moving things around for tomorrow. I'm exhausted..."

"All the more reason for you to relax and enjoy yourself before tomorrow," Rory urged.

"Really, I don't think-"

"Exactly, don't think. Just go upstairs, take a shower, change into something more comfortable, and let me know when you're ready."

Ultimately, arguing with Rory had no effect. No matter how much Lorelai insisted that she did not want a bachelorette party, her daughter remained firm. She finally just gave in, figuring that Luke probably would not get home from the hospital with Liz and TJ until late anyway, and she could meet up with him that evening.

By the time Lorelai had complied with Rory's request to freshen up and made her way back stairs, the living room was full of people. Rory, Sookie, Lane, Babette, Miss Patty, and Gypsy were there, obviously ready for a party of some sort. Just as she was being given a jeweled plastic crown complete with a fake veil to wear, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" she immediately volunteered, hoping it was Luke. Her need to tell him what Dr. Johnson had related to her was beginning to drive her a little crazy. And as much as she loved her friends and her daughter, if they continued to insist on keeping her from her husband, there might just be bloodshed.

When she opened the door, Lorelai was disappointed to see her mother standing at the threshold.

"Oh, its you," she said.

"What kind of way is that to greet a person?" Emily demanded sharply. "I swear, sometimes I think you were raised by wolves."

"Well, if the paw print fits," Lorelai muttered.

"I'm here for your wedding shower," her mother said flatly. "But if this is the way you're going to act, I may as well just go home-"

"No, Mom. Come in, come in." She ushered her inside, pointing to the living room where a lively debate had begun over who had the cutest butt: Matthew McConaughey, Keanu Reeves, or Greg Kinnear.

* * *

Throughout the evening, Lorelai's friends - led primarily by Rory - endeavored to give her exactly the type of bachelorette party they thought she deserved: rowdy, drunken entertainment with as much obscene, rude behavior as they could muster. Unfortunately, due to her underlying desire to escape the event and find Luke, the evening fell slightly short of what they had intended. But not by much. 

At one point, Lorelai received a call from Luke, who she could barely hear over the sounds of music and shouting in the background. "Jess and TJ drug me to a bar!" she heard him shout into the phone, obviously not happy with the situation. "I'll try and make it home later tonight."

"Luke, there's something important I need to tell you," she attempted, but was interrupted by his confused, "What? I can't hear you!"

She finally gave up on the telephone idea, deciding that over the phone at a bar was far lower on her list of desirable ways to tell her husband she was carrying his child than in the hallway at a hospital. So she merely told him she loved him and asked that he try and make it home as soon as he could.

The assembled women quickly dismissed the usual wedding shower games and activities, settling instead on the Star's Hollow equivalent of a night of pre-wedding debauchery – mixed drinks courtesy of Miss Patty and a "sexy" movie marathon courtesy of everyone's combined collections. Not a word of insistence was uttered when Lorelai refused the drink Patty handed her, only a quiet, "Probably for the best, dear. You, alcohol, and weddings are a bad combination."

Eventually, as they ran out of movies (and liquor), each of the women found a place to sprawl out and relax, and the conversation devolved into a contest of the best, "I remember when..." Luke & Lorelai story.

"I remember when I first found out they were together," Sookie began, grinning from ear to ear at the memory as everyone listened with rapt attention. "It was the first night of the test run at the Dragonfly..."

"Sookie!" Lorelai exclaimed in mortification, knowing exactly where the story was going.

"What? I didn't see anything. That's just when I found out. Anyway, Kirk had run butt-naked through town and landed in Taylor's rose bushes. He thought assassins were after him or something. Anyway, when Lorelai had me make sure he was okay - thanks again for that, by the way - he told me that he saw Luke and Lorelai kissing. I thought it was just another hallucination. But then I saw the expression on Luke's face, and it was just so... I don't know... perfect! I mean, I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen Luke smile like that, and that one's probably at the top of the list! He was just so happy, it was too cute," she gushed.

"Well, I remember how I found out," Gypsy threw in. "Lorelai walked down to the diner from Luke's apartment in nothing but one of his flannel shirts. Just walked straight into the diner, like no one was there before she ran back upstairs. All I could think was, 'it's about damn time.'"

"And do you remember how Luke acted at the town meetin' Taylor called?" Babette laughed. "That's probably the reddest I've ever seen Luke get. Looked like he was gonna punch Taylor out!"

"Well, I love how she didn't even realize they were dating at first," Rory said. She continued even as Lorelai shot her a death-glare. "Okay, she had an inkling, but she wasn't _sure_. And she was so nervous, she kept running into things."

"Not the first time she missed an obvious clue," Miss Patty added in amusement. "They were in love for _years _and neither of them realized it."

"You all do realize I'm sitting right here, don't you?" Lorelai asked, but they paid her no attention.

"Oh, I saw it right from the beginning," Emily piped up, having been mostly silent all evening. "In fact, I even got her to admit it," she boasted.

Sookie asked, "Really?"

"Do tell," Miss Patty said in fascination.

"Well, it was right after her telling us about the incident with the bird-"

"It was a chick, Mom," Lorelai reminded her.

"Anyway, she mentioned how Luke helped her catch the thing, and I confronted her about how much time she spent with him."

"We were just friends!"

Emily continued speaking, undeterred. "She said she 'may' have feelings for him, and I knew right then, that was it. Might as well have started sending wedding invitations out then."

Lorelai felt annoyed that her mother spoke with such intuition, as though she had encouraged the relationship from the beginning rather than attempting to sabotage it. But at the same time she heard genuine acceptance in Emily Gilmore's voice, a happy sort of acknowledgment rather than bitter resignation. Despite all the fighting and backstabbing and hurting they had done to one another, it touched her deeply that her mother was not only approving of her marriage to Luke, but participating in it willingly and enthusiastically.

"Well, I remember how they both acted when they were separated," Lane said, purposely avoiding the phrase 'broken up.' "Especially Luke. Burning food, slamming plates, throwing people out, yelling at everyone. I've never seen him that bad, even on one of his dark days."

"Good thing you two are finally getting' hitched," Babette concluded.

Lorelai was momentarily startled by someone actually speaking directly to her. "Why's that?" she asked after a moment.

"Cause this poor town can't take the anticipation much longer, honey!"

Eventually, the party wound down to an inevitable conclusion as some began to walk home and others simply slept where they fell. Rory allowed her grandmother to take claim to her bed while she went with her mother upstairs.

"Luke's supposed to come home tonight," Lorelai told her by way of pointing out the problem of Rory sleeping with her.

"Nope. I called earlier and made him promise to stay at his apartment with Jess. He can't see you before the wedding. It's bad luck!"

"There's no such thing," she grumbled back as they made their way upstairs, but found she was too exhausted to fight it at that moment. She almost told Rory about her pregnancy then, while they were alone. She had wanted to share the news all evening - with Rory, with her mother, with anyone who would listen - but she had restrained herself, needing to tell Luke first.

As she fell asleep, she whispered, "Goodnight kiddo," addressing both the daughter sleeping beside her in the bed and the child she could not wait to meet.


	18. Sharing It

**Chapter 18: Sharing It**

The next morning, Lorelai slept in longer than she thought she would have, considering how restless she had been the night before. But the preceding days had felt interminably long, especially having stayed with Liz at the hospital all night Friday, followed by wedding re-planning all day Saturday and her "bachelorette party" Saturday night. However, it was finally Sunday. The day of her wedding. Well, again.

And she still had not found a moment alone with Luke to tell him he was going to be a daddy. Now there was a situation that needed rectifying if she ever saw one.

But before she could sneak out of bed, Rory came into the room with a tray of food and a cup of coffee. Although the thought of that heavenly caffeinated beverage should have been appealing, the smell made her slightly nauseous. _So much for winning that battle_, Lorelai thought to herself.

"You made me breakfast in bed?" she asked.

"It's your wedding day," Rory pointed out. "But don't get used to this kind of treatment." She set the food on the edge of the bed and then plopped down next to her mother. "Are you excited?"

"You do realize we're already married, right? You, me, Luke, and April... on a beach..."

"I know, but this is special. This is your public wedding, for the adoring masses. Remember, Mom, there are a lot of people who would feel cheated if they found out you eloped. The people of this town have invested a lot in you and Luke, and they should get their pay-off."

"I suppose," Lorelai grumbled.

"You get to wear a pretty dress," her daughter said encouragingly.

She nodded in agreement. She definitely liked the dress.

"And grandpa will walk you down the aisle. And there's the a side benefit that you don't have to listen to Grandma yell at you for not inviting them to the wedding," Rory added.

"Very true."

"Sookie's made a beautiful cake. You like cake."

"Oh, cake sounds really good right now," Lorelai said, glancing over at the breakfast tray to see if there was any of the sweet substance there. Alas, no luck.

Rory finally said the one thing she knew would remind her why the whole 'second wedding' business was a good idea. "And Luke will be wearing a tux."

Lorelai looked longingly out the window in the direction of town. "Okay, I'm sold."

"Well, eat your breakfast and then come downstairs. Grandma hired a hairdresser and a manicurist to come to the house in about an hour for you, me, her, and April. Then Lane wants you to approve the music selection – she made a few changes last night after the bachelorette party. Sookie wants you to okay the food. We need to put on our dresses, have our nails done-"

"I need to see Luke," Lorelai interrupted.

Rory looked at her as though she were insane. "Well, you'll definitely see him at the wedding," she allowed.

"No, before the wedding."

"You can't see the groom before the wedding, it's-"

"It's not bad luck! There's no such thing as bad luck resulting from someone's actions. There's only bad luck and cause and effect. Two separate things. Or something like that," Lorelai said, trying to remember how Luke's theory went. "But either way, I have to see Luke."

"Well, good luck with that," Rory stated. "But you'll have to get through Grandma, first. She's stationed downstairs like a gargoyle, probably to be sure you don't make a last-minute run for it."

"Oh, please," she sputtered. "You leave town before one wedding five years ago and suddenly you're Julia Roberts on a horse, galloping through the countryside."

Rory crossed her arms as she addressed her mother. "This is Grandma. She's been waiting for you to get married since before I was born. And today, she's actually happy for you," her daughter pointed out.

"Well, there's only one thing for it, then," Lorelai decided. "You're going to help me sneak past Emily."

* * *

As it turned out, Lorelai's plan was easier said than done. Emily Gilmore kept watch over her daughter so closely that anyone who did not know her position in life would have suspected she was being paid for the job. It irked Lorelai to no end, and she became more and more desperate as the hours passed. 

While it was still several hours until the wedding, Emily had insisted that they all put on their dresses so that the seamstress could double-check that there were no problems before the wedding. And as much as Lorelai loved her dress, she knew it would be difficult to leave the house unnoticed while dressed like half of one of those figures on the top of cheesy wedding cakes. But she had more pressing issues, such as how to effect her escape in the first place.

"She's like one of those prison guards in _Shawshank Redemption_," she complained to Rory and April, who they had quickly drafted into their plan when Anna dropped her off. "If only I had a miniature pick-ax, maybe I could tunnel out of here."

"While she does bear a remarkable resemblance to Clancy Brown, I don't think you need to go that far," Rory said.

"Yeah," April agreed. "You just need a distraction."

"Hmm... a distraction..." Lorelai considered it for a second before she began to issue orders. "Okay, this is what we're going to do. April, you're going to pretend to trip down the stairs in your dress, being very careful not to actually tear the dress or hurt yourself, and fake some sort of injury, like a sprained ankle. Then, while Emily's freaking out, Rory, you'll say you got a call from Grandpa-"

"Or, you could just go now while she's with the hairdresser," April pointed out quietly.

All three turned to see Emily being taken upstairs where the woman she had hired to do everyone's hair had set up. While her mother shot Lorelai a warning look, she addressed Rory, "Make sure your mother doesn't spill anything on her dress." The directive roughly translated into: _Watch her like a hawk._

As soon as the older Gilmore was safely upstairs, Lorelai slipped on her shoes and headed for the front door.

"She's going to blame me when she finds you gone!" Rory exclaimed.

"I'll be back in fifteen minutes," Lorelai assured her. "And if I'm not, stall."

As the front door closed behind her, April glanced at her step-sister. "Any idea what that's about?" she asked.

"I'm not sure," Rory admitted. "But she didn't touch her coffee this morning, if that's any indication. And she drank all the orange juice I brought her."

"Ah," the younger girl said, not quite sure the significance of the beverage substitutions, but figuring she would find out eventually.

* * *

The sight of Lorelai rushing through town in her dress even as workers were in the process of setting up for the wedding in the square made more than one town resident rather nervous. Miss Patty especially watched with trepidation as the bride hurried along the sidewalk at the fastest pace she could maintain while avoiding falling flat on her face. Luckily, the weather was warm enough that there was no ice or snow on the ground, making her trek a little easier. 

"And just where are you going?" Patty called out.

"I just have to see Luke," Lorelai shouted back. "Don't worry, the wedding's still on!"

She left the already tiresome, "But it's bad luck!" cast in her wake.

Like most of the businesses in town, Luke's Diner had closed for the day, seeing as how the owner and all employees would be attending the wedding. Lorelai used the key hidden above the door to get inside, while simultaneously wondering how a man who constantly chastised her for forgetting to lock her doors could get away with leaving his key in such an obvious place for so many years. The thought quickly left her mind as she made her way up the stairs to that familiar glass door. She tapped on the door urgently.

Much to her surprise, it swung open almost immediately. However, the person behind the door was not Luke, but rather his nephew.

"Jess!" she said in surprise, noting that the young man was already mostly decked out in his tuxedo. "Where's Luke?"

"He's in the bathroom, getting ready," he said, and Lorelai did not wait to hear more before stepping into the apartment. "Hey, isn't it bad luck for the bride-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll show you how much bad luck you get for keeping the bride from talking to the groom," Lorelai threatened irritably.

Jess held up his hands and took a step back in submission. "Whatever you say," he told her. "But if you're hear to call this off..."

She threw up her hands in annoyance at the implication. "Why does everyone act like I'm the wicked witch of the west?" she demanded. "I'm here to see Luke. That's it. Now scram before I give your mother another daughter."

Jess glowered at her for a second before walking out the door, then stopped on the other side of the threshold to address her. "I'm going to check and make sure TJ made it back from the hospital with Liz and the baby," he stated, his jaw set in a look of suspicion. "And when I get back, if I find out you've said or done anything to him..." He left the threat unstated.

"I know you and I haven't always been on the best of terms," Lorelai told him, "But we're about to become family, so believe me when I tell you this: I would never purposely hurt Luke. Not now, not ever. Okay?"

He nodded stiffly, then turned and walked down the stairs.

"Finally," Lorelai said to herself, shutting the door to the apartment and locking it.

"Jess?" she heard Luke call from the bathroom.

"No, its just me!" she shouted back, even as she made her way towards the closed bathroom door.

Luke sounded momentarily confused. "Lorelai? What are you doing here? I thought I wasn't supposed to see you until the wedding. Rory made me promise-"

As she heard his hand begin to turn the bathroom door knob, she interrupted, "Just keep your eyes closed!"

"What?"

"Come out, but keep your eyes closed!" she said more loudly.

She could almost hear Luke rolling his eyes even as he opened the door and stepped out, eyelids firmly shut. She knew he did so just to satisfy her wishes, as irrational as they seemed, as he always had. Like Jess, he had begun to dress for the wedding, getting as far as the pants and white shirt, the top two buttons of which had not yet been secured.

"Well?" he asked, holding out both arms in a gesture of expectation.

Lorelai smiled at the begrudging surrender in his voice. She quickly approached him, careful to wave a hand in front of his face to make sure he was not peeking. As she did so, she realized she had no idea what reaction a person with not-quite-closed eyes would have, thus making it a useless motion. So she simply took one of his hands in hers and led him across the room to the over-sized armchair.

"I take it you don't have your eyes closed," he said as she pushed him into the chair before sitting on the coffee table opposite him.

"The groom can't see the bride before the wedding. It says nothing about the bride seeing the groom," Lorelai said. She was so giddy with anticipation that she could not stop grinning like an idiot.

"So, you see me," Luke said. "Now what?" He felt uncomfortable and awkward sitting there with his eyes closed, knowing that she was sitting only a few feet away, watching him intently.

"Okay, well I wanted to tell you something, something I've been trying to tell you since Friday, actually. But then Liz went into labor, and TJ passed out, and everything got crazy with the wedding, and my daughter kidnapped me-"

"Lorelai," he said, catching her attention. "I'm here. Tell me."

"Okay, but no matter what, you can't open your eyes," she warned him.

"That doesn't sound good."

She insisted, "Promise me!"

"Fine, I promise," Luke relented.

"Okay," she said, then paused as she took both his hands in hers. "So, you know on Friday I went to see the doctor, 'cause of the reaction to the hormone he prescribed me, and it turns out... it wasn't a reaction at all." She took a deep breath. "It was morning sickness. I'm pregnant."

Luke's eyebrows shot up but he kept his eyes firmly shut, even as he sat in absolute silence for several long seconds.

"Luke?" she prompted, somewhat baffled by his lack of reaction.

"They're sure?" He drew out the words in a tone of carefully controlled hopefulness. They had both been disappointed before, and it was too painful to go through that again without some measure of assurance.

Lorelai nodded happily, fighting back the tears of joy that had begun to form in her eyes.

"I can't see you," Luke reminded her. "You have to say something – are they sure?"

"Yes, they're sure," she said quickly, "Its the most accurate test they have. And Doctor Johnson is an expert on making people pregnant, so I think-"

Whatever Lorelai was going to say was lost forever as Luke stood, pulling her up with him. Her words were cut off as his lips found hers in a blind, instinct-driven kiss. His arms enveloped her tightly, as though he intended to merge her body with his through mere force of will. She arms clung to his shoulders just as firmly, even as she felt her legs giving out underneath her from the heady depth of their kiss. But Luke held her upright, only breaking away long enough to allow each to take a breath before he kissed her again.

Finally, after several moments of satisfying his need to touch and taste her, Luke pulled back slightly, making sure she had regained her balance before running one hand down to cup her cheek. Even with his eyes shut, Lorelai could see his soul reflected in his expression.

"You're pregnant?" he confirmed once again, sounding happier than perhaps she had ever heard him. He kept his eyes stubbornly closed, but this time he could feel her nod her head as well as the warm tears of joy that had begun twin trails down her cheeks.

"I'm pregnant," she said unnecessarily.

Luke again wrapped his arms around her again, this time more gently as he let one hand slide around the back of her neck to tangle in her hair. He hugged her to his chest before leaning down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I didn't know it could feel this way," he whispered softly.

"Neither did I," Lorelai answered truthfully. Never in her life had she felt so overcome with joy and sheer contentment, as though all her prayers had been answered and she was presented with the life she had always dreamed of.

She was glad she had waited to tell him, that they were allowed this moment to enjoy the news together, in private. Luke, for his part, was silently grateful she had bid him not to look, as he doubted he would have been able to overcome the strong emotions running through him at that moment.

They stood like that for several minutes, neither wanting to end the embrace. It occurred to Lorelai suddenly that they had finally come full circle, and right there, in that place. The first time she had set foot in his apartment, they had been 'just friends,' an inadequate designation that continued through years of favors and fights, stolen looks and suppressed dreams. And it was there that they had graduated from friends to lovers, a memory that would forever endear the apartment to her, even if its owner had not. She had even proposed to him in the diner downstairs. So it somehow felt right that he find out there, in that place, that they were going to be parents. That they had taken the next step in their 'middle.'

Finally, Luke pulled away slightly, but he quickly brought her back for one more kiss before letting her go completely. "I guess you should go finish getting ready," he allowed.

"Yeah, you too," she agreed, although she had no wish to go anywhere but to the bed five feet from where they stood.

"I don't know about you, but I've got a wedding to go to," Luke said lightly.

"Then I guess I'll see you there," she answered softly.


	19. Finishing It

**A/N:** One more chapter/epilogue after this. For those that have asked me to do another sequel, I may think about it down the line, but probably not for a while. I really appreciate everyone's reviews, and a big heart-felt thank you for everyone who read through the whole thing. Also, specific thanks to Makita, who helped me with the wedding stuff and enduring all my convoluted brainstorming.

As well, wanted to disclose that I borrowed the blue underwear idea from the excellent fic 'Until the World Explodes' by Krissiekins02.

Further, I initially posted this chapter last Sunday, but there seem to be some problems accessing it, so I'm reposting it.

* * *

**Chapter 19: Finishing It**

After Lorelai left his apartment, Luke could still faintly smell her perfume. It lingered in the air, just as the feeling of her lips stayed with him long after she had gone.

Pregnant.

It had taken a little while to actually sink in.

Lorelai was _pregnant_. They were going to have a baby. He and Lorelai. Together. A baby. A little person inside her too tiny to imagine. And in less than nine months, they would be parents. Well, not that they were not already parents, but they would be parents _together_. Of a baby. His and Lorelai's baby.

Feeling slightly dizzy, Luke sat down.

His mind was reeling, his pulse racing, and his palms sweating. To top that off, he was going to be getting married. Again.

"Luke? You up here?" he heard his name being called but it took him a moment to recognize the voice as Jess's.

"Yeah, I'm here," he answered.

His nephew poked his head into the apartment, obviously a little hesitant, as though he might happen upon something he had no desire to see. But once he realized Luke was fully dressed and no other surprises awaited him, he opened the door completely.

"You okay?" Jess asked, noting Luke's dazed expression.

"Yeah."

"I take it the wedding is still on?"

"Wedding's still on."

Jess nodded, then stood patiently, waiting for Luke to say more. When he said nothing, only sat there staring at the floor in a scene vaguely reminiscent of _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_, Jess prompted, "What'd Lorelai want?"

His question broke through and got Luke's attention, but rather than answer right away he merely stood and headed into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

"Nothing bad," he said finally, looking uncharacteristically cheerful. "Give me a few more minutes, then we can head over and see your mom and your little sister."

"I actually just went and saw them. She's freaking out about what to wear to your wedding."

"She's coming to the wedding?" Luke inquired in surprise. "I didn't think she'd feel up to it."

"She said she wouldn't miss it," Jess relayed. "But she's just going to stay for the ceremony."

Luke smiled, glad that his sister would be there. That was the whole point.

* * *

Unfortunately, Lorelai did not succeed in returning to her house before her mother noticed her missing. But as she quietly re-entered the front door and tiptoed into the living room, she heard Emily's voice. 

"There you are," the older woman stated blandly. "I see that you haven't completely ruined your dress. Come along, we need to do your hair."

She said not a word about Lorelai's absence, but did make it a point to follow her upstairs to the bathroom and watch her every movement thereafter.

By the time they had finished their feminine preparations, afternoon had rapidly begun to segue into evening. April and Rory were getting restless and antsy as the time for the wedding drew closer, while Emily seemed to grow more and more calm. Lorelai found herself somewhere in between. Having finally talked to Luke, she was no longer so nervous and frantic. No, instead, she felt... relaxed. Content. Happy.

The "something old, something new" issues were quickly dispensed with. Her dress was new. The penny she had slipped into one shoe was old (1950). The necklace she wore to match the diamond earrings from Luke was borrowed from her mother. And finally, although Rory had suggested a baseball cap for the 'blue' category, Lorelai instead chose to wear a pair of blue underwear.

All the final details taken care, of they were walking out the front door and heading towards the black stretch-limousine her father had hired for the occasion when suddenly Emily stopped on the front porch, touching Lorelai's arm as she did so. Addressing Rory and April, she said, "You two go ahead and wait for us in the limo. We'll be there in a minute."

"Mom, the wedding's supposed to start in a few minutes," Lorelai informed her as the girls walked to the street.

"They can't very well start without you. Besides, weddings never begin on time. They never have and they never will. It's a social constant."

"Mom..."

"Lorelai, there's something I want to tell you."

"If it's about the birds and the bees, I think you're a few decades too late for that talk," she joked.

"No, it's about you and Luke. I know I haven't always been very supportive of you or your relationship-"

"Understatement of the year," Lorelai muttered.

"-but I want you to know, because you're getting married today and because you're my daughter... I'm happy for you. I'm glad that you've finally found someone to make a life with. And who puts up with you. Goodness knows that was a tall order," she said.

Lorelai smiled, touched not only by the words themselves but the obvious feeling behind them. "Thanks, Mom. I appreciate that."

"You know, I've always only wanted the best for you," Emily continued, using the quiet, pouty voice she usually utilized when pretending her feelings had been hurt.

"I do have the best," she told her mother in complete seriousness. "And I know _I _haven't always been easy..."

Emily snorted in amusement. "Oh, please. False modesty doesn't suit either of us."

"Hey, you're the one that started this 'Hallmark moment,'" Lorelai pointed out.

"Oh, that reminds me." She reached in her purse and pulled out a small box. "I have something for you."

Lorelai accepted the box, wrapped in shiny white paper, and said, "Wow, this really is a Hallmark moment..."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Just open it." Not needing any more prompting, Lorelai ripped open the box. Inside lay a delicate blue handkerchief, with three sets of initials embroidered in one corner, the last set reading 'LV.' "This belonged to my mother – your grandmother. She had it with her when she got married, and then had her initials put on it. When I got married, she passed it on to me. Now I'm giving it to you to have for your wedding." She pointed to the last set of initials. "I wasn't sure if you were going to keep our name or take Luke's, so I left space for the last letter."

Not for the first time that day, Lorelai had to fight very hard to resist the sudden urge to cry. "Thank you," she whispered, not just for the gift, but for the approval. Then, not quite cognizant of it as she did so, Lorelai put both arms around her mother in an awkward but heart-felt embrace. Emily seemed just as surprised by the gesture as she herself was, but the feeling was quickly suppressed on both sides. Her mother patted her gently on the back. After a few seconds, they pulled apart, neither quite used to the contact as they had never enjoyed a physically affectionate relationship.

"Well, I suppose we should get to the wedding," Emily announced. Lorelai nodded as she smiled in agreement. She tucked the handkerchief away and they both headed for the limo.

"Mom, I think you should know... I think I'm going to take Luke's name," she told her mother.

Emily nodded, then said, "Good. That's how it should be."

But Lorelai had not made the decision based on tradition or convention. Nor had she made it lightly. It just seemed like the right thing for her. She had been Lorelai Gilmore her entire life. She had chosen not to become Lorelai Hayden when Rory was born. She had chosen not to become a Lorelai Medina when she canceled the wedding to Max.

And it was not because she considered herself to be a 'Gilmore' necessarily, at least not in the way her mother would probably interpret the word. No, she wanted to be Lorelai Danes because to her, it was more than a name, more than a label or a title. She was not simply Luke's wife and she doubted anyone would dismiss her as such. No, she was Luke's _wife_. And soon to be the mother of his child. And somehow, taking his name just seemed right.

Lorelai Danes.

Just as they reached the limo and were about to climb in, Lorelai paused to stare up at the darkening sky in wonder. There were some clouds overhead, but the growing lack of sunlight made them rather inconsequential.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked her sternly, reading her lack of movement as hesitation.

But Lorelai only smiled and shook her head. She took another deep breath, savored it for a long second, then got into the limo.

* * *

Luke stood nervously in the square, wondering why Lorelai was running late. Well, not wondering exactly. 'Late' tended to be her style. More like, he found himself wishing he had somehow broken her of that habit long ago. Because, as much trust as he had in her (and as much trust as he had in the state of Massachusetts for the legal marriage document tucked safely away in his safe above the diner), her tardiness made him nervous. 

The square was decorated beautifully, although Luke in his anxious state had difficulty focusing on anything. With Lorelai getting ready and Emily helping her, Sookie and Miss Patty had overseen the final touches on the square, making sure all was prepared for the wedding. Like Liz and TJ's renaissance nuptials, the actual ceremony was to take place in front of the gazebo. However, Luke had brought the chuppah for them to stand under, and whoever had been in charge of flowers had adorned it with white orchids.

Chairs were set up for the guests (more than Luke realized they had invited), and along the aisle between them were white tea lights in glass votives. More candles adorned the steps and railings of the pavilion, casting about hundreds of twinkling lights. With the sun having set and the sky rapidly fading to black, the lights created a nice effect.

As well, heaters had been strategically positioned to keep everyone from freezing at the late February wedding, and Luke found himself wondering who could possibly be cold at that moment. Feeling as though he were about to sweat through his tux, he fidgeted anxiously. Even standing off to the side of the gazebo with Reverend Skinner, Jess, and TJ, he was suddenly very aware that the eyes of almost the entire town were trained on him.

"Hey, you nervous?" TJ asked. "There's nothing to be nervous about. Just say 'I do' anytime anyone asks you a question."

"No, I'm not nervous," Luke grumbled back irritably, adjusting his collar and the cuffs of his jacket. "I'm just hot. I can't believe I let Lorelai talk me into this monkey suit."

"Yeah, you should have done what Liz and I did. Air pants – that's the way to go, my friend," his brother-in-law stated, clapping him on the shoulder in friendly camaraderie. While TJ's presence still annoyed him, at least the man had stopped handing out cigars to everyone he saw. Partially as a gift to Liz and partially to even out the wedding party, Luke had asked him to be a groomsman. At the time, Luke had hoped desperately that it would not turn into one of those decisions he regretted at every turn.

"Hey, there's the limo," Jess told him, pointing across the square. And the weight that had been pressing on Luke suddenly lifted.

The men and Reverend Skinner quickly took their positions in front of the chuppah. And as the limo stopped on the street opposite the pavilion, someone gave a signal to Miss Patty, because she started the music.

Emily was escorted down the aisle first, with Kirk acting the part as usher. Next walked young Martha as flower girl, teetering along with wobbly steps, barely remembering to throw out rose pedals as she went. Davey followed close behind her as the "ring bearer," and because the actual rings were being safely held by Jess, his sole responsibility had become watching to make sure his baby sister did not run into any problems. A collective round of "awww" and "how cute!" reflected that the two young children performed their basic jobs of just looking adorable.

April walked down the aisle next, and it startled Luke to note how old she looked in the long blue dress, especially with her hair and makeup done, and her glasses conspicuously absent. After some discussion on the subject, her mother had been invited to the wedding – mostly because of April's presence - but Anna had the good sense to sit closer to the back.

Because of the new baby, who she could not bear to part with so soon after giving birth, Liz also sat in the back. The two of them got along well, even after Liz commented before the ceremony, "Oh, so you're the woman who thought Luke would be a terrible father and didn't tell him about his daughter." The statement had left Anna speechless, even as Liz had continued, "You should have seen him with my little girl, here. He's a natural. Just wait 'til him and Lorelai have kids." If nothing else, the talk with Luke's sister made Anna look more thoughtfully as her daughter walked down the aisle and wonder how things might have been different for her (for both of them) if she had told Luke years before.

Once April reached the front, she gave an encouraging smile to her father, then turned to face the audience, prompting Rory to begin her march down the aisle. She winked at Logan as she walked slowly past, then moved to stand next to April. Finally, with almost all the participants in place, the music changed and everyone stood for the bridal procession.

As Lorelai walked towards him on her father's arm, Luke could not take his eyes off of her. She was a vision in the off-white, sleeveless dress, even more beautiful than when he had seen her in the previous wedding dress. To describe her as 'radiant' would have been an understatement.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..."

The soothing tones of Reverend Skinner's voice faded into the background as Luke remembered a conversation they had shared many years before, standing under that very chuppah on the eve of Lorelai's wedding to another man.

"_I guess if you can find that one person, you know, who's willing to put up with all your crap, and doesn't want to change you or dress you or you know, make you eat French food, then marriage can be all right. But that's only if you find that person. "_

"_Yeah, if you find that person... No one has ever made me a chuppah before."_

"_Well, you only get married once. Theoretically."_

"_Yeah, you only get married once."_

Lorelai had never said so, but Luke suspected that she had run because of their talk, because it had prompted her to realize that Max was simply not the 'one' for her. No such doubts clouded her eyes as she stood in front of Luke.

Reverend Skinner spoke a great deal about marriage, partnership, trust, and love, but neither the groom or the bride heard much of what he said, so focused were they on each other. Luke could not quite force himself to take his eyes off of Lorelai. Never had she looked more beautiful. And she found herself in a similar situation, having never seen Luke so dressed up. But, beyond that, she knew she was looking at Luke, the man she was about to marry. Not just Luke her friend, or Luke the not-so-friendly diner owner, Luke the man who fixed her house, or even Luke her boyfriend or Luke her fiance. No, standing before her was Luke – the man she was about to marry. Her husband, her partner, the father of her child.

Lorelai was so caught up in her own thoughts that she missed it when when she was asked to take her vows. "Just say, 'I do,'" Reverend Skinner prompted her.

She was about to speak, but paused for a moment as she looked into Luke's eyes. After a number of seconds went by with still no words from her, he gave began to feel mildly concerned. But just as he was about to remind her that participation in the ceremony was mandatory, something happened.

It started to snow.

Several people in the audience exclaimed in surprise, as none of the local news channels had forecasted snow. But Lorelai merely grinned in delight.

"I do," she said finally, then whispered conspiratorially to Luke, "Its a sign!" He simply smiled back at her, and the guests seemed to breath a collective sigh of relief.

"And do you, Lucas Danes, take this woman..."

Reverend Skinner got no further before Luke interrupted, "I do."

The exchange of rings proved quick and easy, with no more anxiety-inducing dramatic pauses. Lorelai admired her wedding band and how beautifully it fit with the engagement ring, almost as well as her hand fit with Luke's.

Another long moment occurred when the reverend asked the typical question about objections. A few curious heads darted about, as though some long-ago flame might suddenly step out behind a tree to throw a wrench into the works. But the only voice that called out was that of Babette, who shouted, "No one objects, so get on with it already!"

Chuckling a little as he did so, Reverend Skinner said quickly, "Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife." He gave Luke a knowing look before adding, "You may kiss the bride."

And while Luke had never been one for public displays of affection, when he put his lips to hers, the result was so explosively passionate that no one expecting a romantic conclusion was left disappointed. Those watching burst into applause, with a few cat-calls bandied about and at least one, "Hey, get a room!"

As they broke away, neither quite cognizant yet of the guests' attention, Lorelai said quietly, ""I love you. Would you just stand still?" And she kissed him again, sweetly, slowly, as though she were pouring all her hopes, all her dreams, and all her love into that one perfect moment.

* * *

The reception was held in a large white tent on the other side of the square. While the snow had stopped shortly after the ceremony, it helped to keep in the heat as nearly every person in Star's Hollow celebrated the wedding of Luke and Lorelai. 

Pictures were taken and food eaten. Luke and Lorelai cut the cake, and she forced him to participate in the face-shoving ritual, which he acquiesced to only long enough to pay her back in kind.

Toasts were made and stories were told. The bride and groom took their last dance on the floor as Lane put on, "The Best is Yet to Come," by Frank Sinatra.

"I thought you once told me you don't dance," Lorelai teased him quietly as they moved with the music.

"I also told you I'm a compulsive liar."

"Not the best thing to admit to an hour after taking vows," she informed him.

"Those were just for show," Luke answered seriously. "I made my vows to you back in June."

"You think they liked the wedding?" she asked, nodding to everyone watching them dance, many of whom were also taking pictures.

"They don't matter to me. Did _you _like the wedding?"

Lorelai rested her head gently against his shoulder. "I loved the wedding. I thought it was beautiful."

"You're beautiful," he pointed out.

"Ah, flattery will get you everywhere."

"So I've been told."

"Are you ready to get out of here?" she asked.

"Since the moment I saw you in that dress."

Before they left, Lorelai threw her bouquet. Miss Patty did her best to get to it first, but was tangled up with Rory, and thus Lulu caught it. This sequence of events made Kirk turn an interesting shade of green as his eyes darted around nervously. As well, Richard pulled Luke aside to hand him an envelope. At first Luke refused, not wanting to take the Gilmore's money, but after a few pointed comments regarding expansion of their house ("In case you two need more room..."), he accepted graciously.

Lorelai's goodbye to her daughter was tearful and heart-felt, as both knew that she and Luke were not simply leaving on their honeymoon. In a few months Rory would be graduating from college and flying off to London. For two people who had spent their entire lives relying on each other, it truly was the end of an era.

"I'm so happy for you," Rory told her.

"Actually, there's something I want to tell you..." Lorelai pulled her well away from the rest of the crowd before revealing, "I'm pregnant."

"You are? Oh, that's so great! When did you find out?"

"Friday. I wanted to tell you, but I had to tell Luke first..."

"And that's why you rushed off today before the wedding," Rory deduced. "It makes sense now. Congratulations!"

"You're going to be a sister!"

They bounced up and down excitedly, in a manner reminiscent of earlier days. Lorelai asked her to keep the news to herself until they made a more public announcement.

"Call me when you get back from the honeymoon and we'll go maternity clothes shopping," Rory advised her.

"It's a date!"

As they rejoined the large group of people that had assembled for the farewells, Lorelai found her way back to her husband. His eyes lit up at the sight of her, as though he had missed her during the short absence.

"You ready to go... Mrs. Danes?" he asked her, opening the door to the limousine.

"Yes I am, Mr. Danes, and I like the sound of that," she said, but instead of getting in, she wrapped one arm around him and brought him in for a kiss. This action prompted everyone seeing them off to cheer one last time for the happy couple.

Luke broke the kiss after a moment, whispering, "Come on, crazy lady," before helping her into the limo.

"You better take care of her, Luke!" Sookie called out.

"Take _good _care of her, if you know what I mean," Missy Patty added.

Babette interjected, "Yeah, I'm not getting' any younger, and I want to see a few kids on our street before long!"

"I'll see what I can do," Luke responded, completely serious, before he also climbed into the limo and shut the door behind him.

As the limousine drove away, several strings of cans trailed behind it, and the back window read, in large white letters, 'Just Married.'


	20. Epilogue: Predicting It

**Epilogue: Predicting It**

The official honeymoon lasted over a week, the first few days spent in New York going to shows and walking through the city, per Lorelai's request. And the rest of the time they spent at a beautiful yet rustic cabin, high in the mountains of Tennessee, a location Luke had chosen. And while they took a number of walks through the woods together, they spent a majority of their time wrapped in each other's arms in front of the large fireplace in the cabin.

With Lorelai finally pregnant, their love making returned to the level of pure enjoyment it was meant to be, rather than the result-inducing activity it had turned into on prior occasions. But just as often, they found themselves simply lying together, appreciating the luxury of being with each other without any fears or concerns or doubts to distract them.

On one such occasion, they found themselves luxuriating sleepily on the couch as they mindlessly listened to rain falling outside, Luke's hand resting protectively against Lorelai's stomach.

"If it's a boy, I think we should name him after your dad," she said.

Luke nodded, having considered that idea himself. "And if it's a girl?" he asked.

"Hmm... I don't know. Do you have any preferences?"

"What about Lorelai?" he suggested.

Lorelai laughed. "I think only ex-football turned infomercial stars hawking kitchen appliances can get away with naming all their kids after themselves. Besides, don't you think one kid named after me is enough?"

"I don't know, Rory turned out pretty well."

"Rory's a great kid," she agreed, then conceded, "Well, not a kid anymore..."

"She has a great mom," Luke pointed out. "And she's always going to be your kid."

"I don't know, maybe I just got lucky."

He snorted in disbelief at her comment.

"What?" she demanded.

"Just got lucky? Lorelai, the first thing I noticed about you – aside from your severe coffee addiction – was that not only were you a good mom, but you were a fantastic mom. You had Rory looking at you like you hung the moon when other kids her age could barely stand to be around their parents."

She grinned at the description. One of the things she had always loved about Luke (even before she realized that she did _love _him) was that while he had always recognized her as a mother, and a struggling single mother at that, he had never treated her like some woman who got knocked up at the age of sixteen. He never acted as though Rory was a foolish mistake she had made, but rather a life event she had accepted, embraced, and built a life around.

"Rory thought you were pretty cool, too," Lorelai told him.

"Yeah?" She heard him trying not to sound overly pleased at the idea.

"I remember once... I asked her if she thought you were cute. This was years before we started dating. And she told me in no uncertain terms that I was not allowed to date you."

"Why not?" Luke demanded, not sure how this story illustrated Rory's affection for him.

"Because if we broke up, she wouldn't be able to go into the diner, and she would miss your food. And you, I think," she said. "Then, when we did start dating, she gave me the whole speech again."

"You thought I was cute?" he asked in amusement, having hit upon that particular detail.

The corners of Lorelai's mouth went up automatically at the sound of repressed pride in his voice. "Are you serious? With that hat and those shirts... you were totally hot. And then, when you'd go on a rant... _those _were the best. Especially town meeting rants. Good thing I didn't know you had a tattoo until we started dating or I wouldn't have been able to restrain myself."

"You know, I wish I had asked you out sooner," Luke stated. "I almost did, a couple of times, then I chickened out."

"Sookie and Jackson's first date," Lorelai said.

"What?"

"You were going to ask me out that time with Roon, on Sookie and Jackson's first date, but then we were... interrupted," she remembered, the image of an angry Mrs. Kim popping into her head. "And the next day, you looked like you had something you wanted to say, but then you stopped yourself."

He nodded, recalling the moment quite clearly. "I thought you'd say no. Or worse, that you'd humor me and it would end up being weird and awkward."

"I would have said yes," Lorelai told him sincerely. "However, if you weren't really obvious about it, I may not have known it was an actual _official _date-date."

"Okay, I thought the invitation to Liz's wedding was obvious! Do we really have to argue this again?" Luke demanded, although his tone was playful.

"Unless you have other ideas," she said seductively, effectively changing the mood of their conversation.

"I think something can be arranged..."

* * *

Afterwards, they lay together as they had before, dozing slightly as they listened to the rain fall outside. Lorelai positioned her head against Luke's chest, feeling it rise and fall as she listened to his heartbeat, steady and strong. The practice was both comfortable and reassuring to her, and she could tell he had no objections as he gently caressed her hair. 

"You know..." he said quietly, pausing to catch her attention, "It wouldn't have mattered."

"What wouldn't have mattered?" she asked.

"If you hadn't gotten pregnant. It wouldn't have mattered to me. Kids or no kids, we're in this together. You know that, right?"

After a brief hesitation, Lorelai answered softly, "I know."

"Do you?" he pressed, sitting up a little so that he could see her face.

Moving slightly so that he could see her eyes as she spoke, she repeated more strongly, "I know."

Luke nodded once in acceptance before relaxing again, secure in the knowledge that she knew how he felt. When he spoke again, his voice was lighter. "You know, I remember the first time I thought about having kids. I mean _really _thought about it as a possibility. It was that time after the fire at the Independence Inn, when you stayed at my apartment. And you were telling me about some dream where we were married and you were pregnant."

"Twins," Lorelai added, as she remembered the dream well.

"And I remember thinking that it wouldn't be such a bad thing to have kids. Well, maybe not twins. That sounds tough, but you know..."

She smiled, and he could hear it in her voice. "I know." Suddenly, something occurred to her and she sat up. "I just remembered, I have a surprise for you."

Before Luke could say another word, she had disappeared into the bedroom. He heard her rummage through their suitcases before she reappeared in the doorway with a small plastic bag in her hands.

"This is actually a present from Liz, but I've been holding onto it. I thought now might be a good time to show it to you..."

Luke sat up, and she plopped down on the couch beside him as she held out the bag.

"It's from Liz?" he asked skeptically.

"You'll like it."

He opened it quickly, untying the knot and peeling back the plastic to reveal the tiny baby baseball uniform and matching ball cap. Uncharacteristically, Luke started to grin, appreciating not only how the baby clothes applied to him, but also the fact that in his lap at that moment was a very real, tangible reminder that they _were _going to have a baby.

"I do like it," he pronounced, leaning over to kiss her.

"Well, like I said, it's from Liz, so you should be thanking her," Lorelai pointed out.

The baby clothing forgotten for the moment, Luke whispered, "I'd rather thank you," before pushing her back onto the couch and kissing her again.

The last thing she said before the conversation was abandoned for more pleasurable pursuits was, "We should really have these honeymoons more often."

* * *

Two months later, Luke held the door open as Lorelai walked into the doctor's office. Doctor Kennedy had been seeing Lorelai every few weeks since her initial visit, mostly to assure her that the baby was all right and there were no problems. Thus far all the ultrasounds had looked good and all of Lorelai's tests results were normal. In fact, though she had some initial problems, the doctor had been able to determine the approximate time of the baby's conception to be sometime in early January. 

"Early January!" Lorelai had exclaimed. "You know what that means, right?"

"That room had nothing to do with it," Luke insisted. Prior to that initial appointment, they had debated which had been the factor most likely to contribute to Lorelai's sudden pregnancy. And while she contended that the magical, mystical powers of Room Three had once again played a part in aligning the elements of the universe just for them, he was of the opinion that it had everything to do with the hormone Dr. Johnson had prescribed for her.

But on this day, neither felt particularly anxious as Dr. Kennedy rubbed the cold gel on Lorelai's stomach in preparation for an ultrasound. They had already gone through a couple and were getting better at identifying which portion of the black and white screen was static and which part actually reflected a growing fetus.

So, they were somewhat unprepared when they heard the doctor mutter, "Hmm, that's odd..."

"Odd?" Luke asked.

"What's odd?" Lorelai demanded.

"Nothing, just, there's a shadow here..." she pointed at the screen, but neither of them could identify what had caught her attention. Frowning, the woman moved the ultrasound wand to a different angle across Lorelai's stomach, contorting the image on the monitor as she did so. But it was not until she turned up the volume on the sound that she smiled in recognition. "Ah, no wonder. Mrs. Danes, you said that Doctor Johnson put you on a hormone before you got pregnant?"

"Yes," Lorelai answered anxiously. "Why, is that bad?"

"No, it just helps explain something. Those hormones are supposed to help you ovulate and often cause women to release more than one egg at a time. I think what we're seeing here is the image of one fetus hiding behind another." She gestured to the screen, which both Luke and Lorelai simply stared at blankly.

"More than one?" he asked finally, wanting confirmation of what she was implying.

"That's what it looks like. And it definitely sounds like two heartbeats on the monitor." She smiled at the couple. "Congratulations. It looks like you're expecting twins!"

Luke simply blinked in response, and while Lorelai began to grin like a maniac at the news, he turned to stare at the ultrasound monitor in total amazement. "Twins," he said finally, venturing to glance at his wife.

Lorelai squeezed his hand gently, as though to reassure him. "It'll be okay," she told him, reigning in her excitement at the look of utter shock on his face.

Looking at her with wide eyes, he pointed at the monitor. "Twins," he said again. "And in your dream... and... twins... _two _babies!"

"Dream?" Doctor Kennedy interjected curiously.

"I had a dream that I would get pregnant with twins," Lorelai explained.

"Well, that's not uncommon, especially when you're so focused on trying to get pregnant," she said.

"It was about five years ago. Luke and I weren't even together yet." Looking back at Luke, she saw that he had regained the capacity to at least blink, although he still seemed fascinated by image on the black and white screen. "You doing okay there, babe?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, and his voice actually sounded normal. When he looked at her and smiled, she knew he had finally acclimated to the news of their impending dual parenthood. "We're actually having twins."

"Yeah," she smiled back."Think I'm psychic?"

"No, I don't. But maybe there's something to this Room Three thing afterall..."

"Oh, I am _so_ telling Rory you said that!"


End file.
